Laughing

 

Today's Tids Issue 4,994

No apologies:

 

“I endorse podiums. That’s a product I can stand behind! –Norm Macdonald

 

We may have the happy experience of Wall Street traders playing a positive guessing game all the way to 2022, when we may finally get an answer on the Transitory Question.

 

This General Milley caper could have legs. It would be interesting to see it argued reasonably without party loyalty getting in the way.

 

The Question:

Who are all the Anchors who have appeared on the SNL Weekend Update, and how are they ranked?

 

The Headlines:

--September Selling Pressure Keeps Markets Tepid Eearly; Markets Sem to Awaken Mid PM; Markets Edgy After China Misses On Growth Expectations – Retail Sales Grew 2.5% Versus Estimates Of 7%; Apple Gets Small Boost From New Product Announcements.

--North Korea Fires Two Ballistic Missiles Towards Japan Into International Waters.

--Rand Demands Investigation, Polygraph For General Milley

--US Factory Production Slowed In August.

--Gov Gavin Easily Survives Recall Vote.

--Reports Say Taliban Leaders Brawling Inside Presidential Palace Over Power.

 

Every day lately we seem to get a new reason on why the economy may be slowing, and the supply chain effect is one of the biggest. But, as these reasons start to pile up, and they often do, they could  tip the scale towards gloom even as the current mystery markets remains close to all-time highs.

 

 

I signed up for my company’s 401k. But I don’t think I can run that far. –Norm Macdonald

 

Here’s the deal on Gavin. He’s a liberal Governor in one of the most liberal states of all. Anybody who thought that a super conservative Elder had chance had to be surfin’ through a pot farm on fire.

 

Comedians shouldn’t have to make apologies for being offensive. People who are offended should just stop buying tickets.

 

The Transitory Question, in case you missed it, is that the status of the economy coming out of the Pandemic is based on the hopes that the sluggishness is only due to transitioning from limitations due to Covid which is only temporary on the way back to normal. It is expected that by early 2022, we will know.

 

I wonder if all these cable 24/7 news networks understand just how tedious day after day discussions about mask wearing and vaccination ban arguments can get. It’s a total yawnsville.

 

Today has been a particularly delightful Wednesday morning.

 

In case you are interested, low tide is better for walking on beaches.

 

I know you don’t care, but up here in New England, we are ecstatic over new QB Mac Joes

 

How about AOC showing up at the super rich folks Met Bssh dressed to the nines in a sleek white gown, with the words on the back, “Tax the Rich”. And the rich there, lots of celebs, there cheered. How odd is this world becoming? Oh yeah and the Social Media crowd is all over them for not wearing masks.

 

I’m glad I live mainly in my small cozy world.

 

I remember when Gordie Ernst was a high school phenom around here. He could do no wrong and had everything that every other acned teen boy cried for. Today he pleaded guilty to conspiring in the College For Sale Scam and will serve 4 years and payback over $3.5 mill, which he made through bribes and income tax evasion. He’ll probably make most of that back teaching tennis to white collar criminals in prison.

 

The other day I tell my wife, “When I look into the mirror, I only see an old fat man. I need you to make me feel better about myself." She says "you have perfect eyesight." - Norm MacDonald

 

A Fox News headline said, “Murder for Hire gunman nabbed in Murtaugh case that rocked the nation. “Rocked? I never heard of it. hyperbole may be the death of the USA in the long run.

 

The Answer:

I don’t know if this is because Norm just died or if it is really is #1, but he is. Next, we have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler followed at #3 by Chevy Chase and then Dennis Miller. #5 is Jane Curtain with Dan Ackroyd and Bill Murray. Going down the list we have next Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler and Seth Meters, Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey, Kevin Nealon, Collin Jost and Michael Che, Charles Rocket, Cicily Strong ad Colin Jost with Seth Meyers and at #13 Colin Quinn.

 

A dog walks into a telegram office. The guy behind the desk asks "what do want your telegram to read?" The dog goes " woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof". The guy says "I noticed you have 9 words, do you want an extra woof? It's for free" The dog says "Nooo, that wouldn't make any sense". –Norm Macdonald

 

I probably would have used too many commas to break up the woofs, and my English teacher would have docked me for comma squandering, without reading it for content.

 

The Tids is free and often doesn’t make any sense. that’s what you can get for nothing. Woof!