Sudden realizations

Today's Tids Issue 5,314 

Scratching an itch?: 

 

 

I was standing by the roaring sea, 

Wondering what storm's rage might be, 

When a giant wave washed over me.  

I learned how a drenching sets you free. 

 

But I felt salty fresh as I walked home. I met a nice sandpiper who thought I was a friend. 

 

The Term “Breaking News” has lost its meaning. 

 

I used to go to the movies just to be entertained. Now people go to be part of a national sensation. Which means you're being played by somebody else. 

 

Hey, you never know! Scientists are surmising in the wake of what has been a globally hot July that the increase in cleaner air may be one of the culprits affecting the temperature rise. They have noticed in particular that the particulates in exhaust emitted from shipping world wild is so much less that the sun is actually shining brighter and warmer. How about that collateral damage effect. (BTW, in case you are interested, I thought July here where these fingers dance upon the keys was actually pleasantly cooler this year.) 

 

My next doctor checkup appointment is two days before Thanksgiving. That means I can double the mashed potatoes and  

gravy... and the pecan pie with ice cream without guilt. Yay scheduling. 

 

The Question: 

Napoleon was born, exiled and died on islands. Name the three islands where each event occurred.  

 

The Headlines: 

--Markest Sluggish as Investors Weigh Moody's, Global Economies and Fed Interpretation of the Economy; Markets Tumble into Early Afternoon. 

--$1.56 Billion Mega Millions Winner Bought Ticket at Publix in Neptune Beach Florida (Just below Jacksonville). 

--Maui Residents Jump in Ocean as Raging Fires Bear Down. 

--Diane Feinstein Ok in Hospital After Fall. 

--American Humanitarian and daughter Kidnapped in Haiti Released.  

--Abortion Advocates Win in Ohio. 

 

Trump’s puffy exaggerations have just become too silly to be taken seriously. Frankly it is getting hard to take anything pollical seriously lately.  

 

Meanwhile, avowed Trump hater and NYT Communist David Brooks has conceded that perhaps it is his own elite “we’re better than any of the rest” class of better institution educated families are the reason for the rise of the angry common working person in the form of the so called Maga hat groups.  

 

The Washington Post fact checks and applies “Pinocchio's” to every media organization except itself. That's one way to pretend you have integrity. 

 

Shopping at supermarkets is unsettling these days. Yesterday I bought two bags of potato chips at a cost close to that cost of very nice meal in a good restaurant less than twenty years ago.  

 

David Brooks and his elite friends would probably be aghast at my dietary regimen. They probably can’t even spell Marie Callender or country fried gravy. 

 

There goes my retirement plan again. The winner of eh $1.5 bill was from another Publix in Florida. Publix is like a senior center down there. Remember when a billion meant something. Remember when being a millionaire was the ultimate dream. 

 

Everybody who owns stock wants to see tier companies do well and report great earnings each quarter. But too many companies can only produce better revenue and earnings by raising prices. So, I guess that's one way to justify gagging at the checkout lane. Or is that choke out lane 

 

Actually, this is just an interim style Tids filling time as I get excited anticipating tomorrow’s first Pats game of the season against the Texans. I am literally holding my breath. If I turn Patriot's blue, punch my diaphragm. 

 

Also, the FedEx Championship begins tomorrow. It is only three rounds now. Scott Scheffler is favored at 13-2 while Rory and Jon Rahm are tied at 8-1. Patrick Cantlay is fourth at 14-1.  

 

The Answer: 

Napolean was born on Corsica in 1769. He escaped there by water after an Egyptian campaign fiasco. Years later he was exiled to Elbe but escaped by water after a short stay in captivity. After Waterloo, Napolean was exiled again this time to a very remote island with no escape, St. Helena. It is 1200 miles off the Angolan Africa coast. He did never escape from there and he died there in 1821. 

 

The fear of giants is FeeFiPhobia. That joke isn't worth a hill of beans. Actually, a lot of people in the village were concerned about Jack hearing that, “Jack and the beans talk.” But then they heard the rest of the story and vilified him on twitter for not sharing the gold egg laying goose. Sorry folks, bad yoke. 

 

I’d better leave.