Progress is not impressing me.

Today's Tids Issue 2,595

Opening Stuff:

Do you think that most famous line in the movie "Mrs. Robinson" -- "Plastic" -- meant credit cards?

Did you hear about the primary in WV last night where Federal Prison Convict Keith Judd got 40% of the vote in a Democrat primary against Obama. On another primary note, in the primary to establish a candidate to run in the recall race against Governor Walker, the candidate endorsed and supported by the unions lost badly to Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett. Latest polls have Barrett and Walker 50-50.

Today, two planes were stropped from taking off due to bomb threat reports. Without igniting one bomb, the al-Qaida and fellow terrorists are effectively keeping Americans on edge.

The Question:
Double Day 1. Name three famous characters brought to us by one of the true funny persons of our20th Century -- Edgar Bergen. 2.  Some times I feel these "Q's" are a generation or two beyond some readers. So I looked for younger names and came across 27 year old "TV Personality" Aubrina Partridge. I haven't the slightest idea of who she is or what she does. Do you?

The Headlines:
--Markets Open Down Again; New Survey Shows Wary Retail Investors Still On Sideline After Three Years.
--Greece Indigestion Still Controlling World.
--Euro Sinks Spooking World Wide Investment; Euro Ills Override Positive Economic Data From Germany.
--Latest Caught Bomber Was Saudi Double Agent; Agent Says Nobody Was Ever In Harms Way.
--Tea Party Effort Ousts Sensible Lugar.
--Audi Outsells BMW In April For First Time In Year
--Edwards And Clements Trials Wear On; Judge Seen Dozing.

Did you ever have your dreams answered? I have! A new deli that actually meets the standards described by the name "deli", opened up the street from me. It is called "Deli", and they live up to the old time meaning of a great deli. For instance, they, cook their own roast beef every morning. I had a piled high RB sandwich with horseradish sauce and cheese and it was melt in you mouth delicious. Lots of good looking salads and an owner who seems to take customers seriously. The owner has a second shop in South Philly -- as in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. -- where food is taken very seriously. Strange but true.

The Star Spangled Banner is Country music!

You've read the headlines, "Put a new twist into summer grilling"; "Quick and easy dinners with a spark". Well, as far as I can read, here's what they all are centered upon -- add nuts and berries and natural adornments. Instead of country fried steak with white pork gravy you're going to get pecan encrusted chicken with creamy yogurt sauce.  Or instead of pork chop with Merlot brown gravy sauce you get fat trimmed pork medallions with raspberry, balsamic vignettes sauce over beet greens. Help me! By the time I reach a nursing home I'll be dying from refusing to eat health foods. And who needs health food when your 105 anyhow. Nurse Jane will be saying, "Eat your damn blueberries or I won't type your Tids for you!"

"Eco" is one of those words you can't use any longer as an abbreviation. Environmentalists who think everything is about them anyhow, will assume anything incorporating the word Eco is all about them too, instead of the other side of the coin where Eco means Economics. The two Ecos are incredibly co-dependent, except that environmentalists don't understand the need for balancing a solid economy with rampant ecology. I think there's something intelligent in here somewhere.

Airline travel of today is a far cry from the consumer centric travel of yesteryear. But, once you figure out the new routines it's probably doable. The Nightly News programs only report on worst case scenarios.

Providence Airport TSA Agents stopped a guy and his son after finding a dis-assembled gun in the boy's teddy bear. They let the man and his son travel on, but wouldn't say why they could or who they were. All of this secrecy is food for an active Tids mind. I'm thinking he was a Providence hit man who complained that had to continue on to provide food for his family and medical care for his dying brother awaiting trial for extorting strip clubs. The TSA agent's brother-in-law happened to be costume manager at a strip club.

There's a big "Mixologist" competition coming to our fair state. In the newspaper, they showed a lot of favorite drinks for the competition. Before I could describe one particular drink, I had to look up "Muddling". It turns out it's your basic Pestle and Mortor concept with names changed to Muddler and Glass. In the bottom of the glass, this professional, award winning bartender muddles sliced beets, raspberries and beet greens. To that mess you add vodka, Pama (Pomegranate based Liqueur) and lemon juice. People drink that for fun? Here's my special recipe -- Make ice cubes out of Roses lime juice and pour vodka or gin over them. Or, forget the ice cubes.

The Answer:
Who hasn't or wouldn't laugh at Charlie McCarthey, Mortimer Snerd or Effie Klinker. Charlie is in the Smithsonian, and Bergens laughs are in the hearts of all Americans who heard his humor.  2. Aubrina Partridge (Born in 1985, Yikes) is indeed a TV personality -- starting as a model and then entering Reality TV first as a member of the original cast of the MTV series The Hills. Today she has her own reality show about the day to day life, called of all things - "Audrina"! I have no idea of what it is about, Probably health food.

Nuts and fruits. Nuts and Fruits. Wasn't there an old joke about that. You probably can tell it any more.

Gourmand gulag?

Today's Tids Issue #2,344
Opening Stuff:

In response to the lowering of the USA rating by Standard & Poors, the official White House response was "No problem.". Some are saying, "Yeah but, S&P is the gang that said risky housing bonds were ok." But other experts who agree with that characterization say, "Right and S&P missed it again...they should have made this correction months ago." That this problem is quite out of control and a bigger spotlight must be shown upon it. That a notification by S&P, regardless of how they may have behaved during the national housing fraud, is necessary to separate a serious issue from politics. To take it away from the spinners.

Yo Michelle! I ate at IHop today, and it was delicious.

Families who birth goats together stay together.

The Question:
573,484 Fords have been sold in 2011. How many Rolls-Royce, Bentley's and Maserati's have been sold? What are the four biggest sellers after Ford?

The Headlines:

--NC Cleanup Massive And Expensive.
--Stocks Edging Higher.
--New Syrian Protests Demand Assad Ouster; Observers See Protests As Conservative Muslims Seeing Opportunity To Take Over Another Middle East Country.
--Looking For Excitement, GOP Insiders May be Succumbing To Outrageous Trump; Sarah Buzz Down To Whisper; Mainstreamers Can't Get Heard.
--Japan Begins Pumping Radioactive Water Into Storage Tanks.
--Libya Bars Entry Of Foreign Troops With Humanitarian Aid.
--Market futures Up On Goldman Earnings Report; Goldman Down 72% From Year Ago; Go Figure.

Back to More Stuff:
After watching these awful storms in the South, I'm wondering if weather forecasters will top actuaries as the Insurance company go-to guys? Or will the actuary have to go to Weather Channel School?

I remember a year or so ago standing by a small ocean inlet watching a guy paddle back and forth over icy waters standing upright on a board. I thought it looked deadly dull and uninspiring. That was then and now I realize I was watching the germination of a hot new trend -- "Paddle Boarding". Which just continues to prove that you can sell Americans just about anything. (Note: these boards go for $700-$1300. And that doens't include a very expensive paddle. I don't understand.)

We used to have debtor's prisons. Is the next trend rounding up over-eaters and fencing them in with broccoli patches?

Almost Near: Chapter 16 continues. --"I can't tell you much about this case because there is very little to tell" Sparrow paused and his eyes lowered, "Your Mom's unfortunate death appeared to be a legitimate suicide. Neighbors confirmed that she always looked distressed. They weren't surprised."
Samantha wondered if her mother was distressed when they all lived in New Castle. It was hard to talk to Sparrow not knowing anything, she thought. He didn't appear to be the type of guy who was going to volunteer much either. She wondered if there was a mystery here where Sparrow knew more than he was saying and was looking at her as a player.
"Of course," he continued, "You would know your mother best."
"I had a good childhood. She must have become distressed after I left."
"Maybe she became distressed because you left." he paused now and his eyes glanced up. "You said you talked and wrote often after you left and then married. You must have sensed something. Why didn't you come back?"
"That's why I'm here. I don't know anything." Detective Sparrow squinted.
Samantha knew one thing, everything she was saying was a lie.

Weirdness When Wisened Wage War Department:
It seems as thought the Libyan forces are getting stronger and the rebels are suffering. As long as the Daffy's boys don't kill civilians, then the UN has tied it's hands.

Everybody is applauding USA Wizardry as Apple leads the world into the fast growing Tablet computing. Only one problem, the chip for tablet computing was developed and is produced by ARM Holdings in Europe. Intel is making a mad dash to catch up to the new consumer trend as PC sales seem destined to become primarily a business market. As consumers gravitate tablet-ward I expect a steady decline in the traditional PC's. Tablets will have to, over time, offer the power and flexibility of PC's, but I believe more and more of that will be accomplished on-line instead of within the guts of the box. It's fun to watch.

I always said "Builders gotta build and developers gotta develop" and that's why we have so much crap marring once beautiful landscapes. This too should trend towards decline -- and I say thank God. Internet sales are rapidly gaining favor even among the oldsters. There is still a need for retail outlets, but duplication which has driven overbuilding will disappear. People still enjoy going into stores, but there has to be more need to sustain the past land corruption. Small malls will cater to services that aren't available on line, but how many tanning parlors, nail polishers or tattoo artists do you need?

Of course, the big question is, Where will people shoplift?

The Answer:
106 Rolls, 385 Bentley's and 567 Maserati's have been sold. i don't have one. The other of the big 5 sales brands are Chevy, Toyota, Honda and Nissan. An interesting point is the decline of the Swedish brands. The Volvo is down to 18,632 while the Saab is 2,937. Personally, I'd buy a Volvo tomorrow.

The End:
You have to figure that anything with white sausage gravy on it is probably going to make you a but sluggish. But I think smiles broaden in direct proportion to muscle slowdown.

BTW, have you ever walked through one of those cute organic veggie markets and seen anybody who looked happy or even healthy. Is gaunt, pasty and dour the new look?

Send me to the gulag.