Exaggerate; It's the American Way.

Today's Tids Issue 2,306
Opening Stuff:

Headlines like "The Best Burger in America" drive me crazy. Who says? Tastes are actually pretty personal. One man's best burger may be another man's cardboard.

I keep reading about chefs designing new menus for today's new tastes. None of which appeals to me. In fact I'm quite content with tastes developed 50, 60 years ago. I think they develop new menus for themselves because they get tired of cooking the same old thing. They just try to convince people that they are not with it if they are not with them. It's good for business. Just as Global Warming is good for the green business.

And, then there is the TV commercial for an Ice Show promising, "The Greatest Skaters in history". It goes on to describe their line-up of the top skaters of the past 25 years. Say what? I'm an old ad guy who lives in a world of superlatives. But they have to be at least believable. I live by that old adage. If you can't say anything nice about a person say nothing, but when you can...go crazy!

The Question: 
Two prominent Economists Robert Shiller of Yale and Karl Case of Wellesley are saying that home prices could drop again, and by up to 25%!. What three reasons do the say will bring it on?

The Headlines:

--Wisconsin Standoff: Assembly Dems Agree To Limit Number Of Amendments And Allow Vote This Afternoon; Senate Repubs Meet TO Authorize State Police To Find Absent Dems.
--16 States Ready To Follow Wisconsin's Lead; RI Should Be IN Forefront, But Never Will As Citizens Continue To Shoot Themselves In the Foot..
--Rebels Close In On Gaddafi Stronghold; Gadzo Says Bin Laden Behind Uprising.
--Libya Says Journalists Illegally In Country Will be Arrested As al-Qaida Collaboratives.
--Some Of NZ Missing Found; Death Toll Rises To 89.
--Judge Says WikiLeaks Assange Can be Extradited.
--Somalia Gov. begins Offensive Against al-Qaida Linked Militants.

Back to More Stuff:
Entitlement has replaced economics, and that is a major problem with the modern world.

As most all of you probably know, it was the Democrat of Democrats, Franklyn Delano, FDR, who warned often in the thirties of the dangers of collective bargaining by public employees. He said things like "It (collective bargaining) has distinct and insurmountable limitations...the very nature and purposes of government make it impossible for officials to bind the employer...the employer is the whole people, who speak by means of laws enacted by their representatives."

The Wagner Act, the Magna Carta of the American Labor Movement, excluded specifically federal, state and local employees. Ironically, a New York mayor named Robert "Wagner" chose to sell out the principle of no collective bargaining to gain a few Union votes in 1958. In other words, it was still a very bad idea, it just became accepted because some cheesy politician decided to buy some votes.

Which is exactly why we have the budget problems we have today -- Politicians giving away the store knowing full well that it would be an economic impossibility over time to satisfy the financial burdens of the promises. Ugh. Double ugh.

Is rehearsal practicing again for a funeral procession?

The Oscar Picks Department:
Since the end of the NFL Season, our ace game pickers have been basically idle pickin' their...ukulele strings. What'd ya think I was going to say? So I thought I'd let them kick around Oscar for the day. So, don't expect a lot from a bunch of lunkheads in Lala-Land. Best Movie - Kings Speech, Critics think Social network is close behind, but to me "behind" is a good way to describe that mess. I put True Grit as number two. Actor and Actress: TD's scored by Firth and Portman. I loved Rush in KS, but Christian Bale will probably break a tackle for a big gain. I like special teams player Haile Steinfeld, but she will be substituted for by Malissa leo and do a victory dance in the end zone.

American Idol could be great this year. First I was blown away by some of the efforts on Beatles's night, a night which in the past has typically been a loser fraught with bad interpretations of those classics. It is going to be tough to get to the right "24" (I like that sound). And even tougher to get to #1 in the end. --Let's hope they don't lose along the way the creative spirit they have all shown to date. --That walk through the hangar is much too long. --Thank God the tedious Ashley story is over. --Now the only remaining mystery is the fate of CJ. --Jennifer Lopez is one of the best ever judges I have seen. On any reality competition show. Period.

BTW, for all of you "Almost Near" aficionados, I can guarantee that there will be no story Monday morning. For all of the rest of you, "Almost Near" is the name of the latest heart wrenching, gut twisting novel in The Tids.

Kyle Rowley, a Narragansett RI'er and super QB for Brown U who did well playing under the gigantic shadow of Brown's Legendary Bob Hall, was named Northwest US Athlete of the Year. He QB'd the Spokane Shock winners of this year's Arena Football League Championship.

Now we know why two lawyers refused to take the case of Updyke, the nut who poisoned Auburn's (Bama's hated rival) beloved trees. The names of his kids are bear Bryant and Crimson Tide. Honest. I think that says something about pre-medicated. PS: HIs new lawyer's name is Threat. Honest.

Sports has become much too big, and seems to be turning reasonable people into blithering idiots. For instance, why would any producer think that it is a good idea to have a Carmello Anthony reality show featuring his girlfirend Lala. Because there are plenty of crazed sheep ready to follow it. Oh yeah...is the promise of inane reality shows going to be the next big enticement for fickle superstars.

Almost Near: Chapter 9. --Samantha drove blindly out of this town from hell. Up the hill past the damned tree. The people of her childhood faded as did the flats enveloped by an incoming tide. She saw nothing as she sped around the traffic circle that would fling her northward through Ipswich and Newberryport.
She didn't notice the clam shack as she sped through Exeter. She only wanted to erase Lobster Cove from her memory. But what would she find when it was gone.
Her eyes bore straight ahead not seeing anything but traffic blurs. Her Jeep became a missile. Screeeeech! One of those blurs became a fingernail on a blackboard as it narrowly missed the surging Jeep. The sudden horror of the intense sound rattled her from her coma like trance. Her eyes popped, focused, and she saw houses flying by. She stomped on her brakes and the Jeep wiggled to an uncomfortable stop. She was shaking.Her hands were bound to the wheel. Her teeth clenched like a vice. She dropped her head. And the tears flowed.

The Somalian Pirates are rushing to defend the "30", count em' -- "30", hijacked ships with hostages under their control. Hey UN, I think we have a problem there.

You have to wonder that if a dachshund, golden lab, beagle and labradoodle were the ones on the sailboat who were killed by the Somalian savages, how berzerk our nation would have gone?

The Answer:
First, the Government expects to reduce Freddie/Fanny activity in the consumer mortgage market. The resultant transfer to private banks will bump up rates. Second, the talk of eliminating the mortgage deduction continues. And, third, this oil price spike could halt the rebound of a weak economy. I hate it when they say mortgage deduction!

The End:
I love the word Berzerk.

Some college basketball coaches are making politicians look honest.

In case you missed it, today is the anniversary of the impeachment of Andrew Johnson. Like the other impeached president, Bill Clinton, Johnson was acquitted by the Senate.

And, speaking of philanderers, Tiger Woods was eliminated in the first round of this weeks big Match Play tournament that has gathered together in Arizona all of the worlds best players. Maybe he has lost it.

Every Morning I sit before this mess and wonder if I have enough to write about. And then all of this junk keeps pouring out of my  mind. Do you think that is a sign of real mental problems?

I’m so happy, that I’m losing my mind.

Today's Tids Issue 2,133
Opening Stuff:

A new study reveals that people in their 50’s are happier. Happier than what…a prisoner at Abu Ghraib; a guy who stole from a Mexican drug cartel; A conservative Republican in Rhode Island?

And therefore, are people well past their fifties so happy that their constant state of deliriousness’ leads to the ultimate collapse of all mental comprehension?

Eric Holden Department:
The Attorney General seems to have trouble saying Islamic Extremist. I was thinking of this as I noted how many Terrorist bomb plans have been disrupted before the fact by many countries in the Middle East and Asia. So my multiple choice question of the day is:
Did they nab the potential bombers because:
A. They were lucky.
B. They targeted people who looked like Swedes.
C. They targeted people who looked like Mexicans.
D. They targeted people who looked like Middle Eastern Islamic Extremists.

The Question:
Name Ten Female Aviation Pioneers. Many were incredibly courageous, but footnotes of history. The Tids has always sought to elevate footnotes to headlines.

The Headlines:
--Primaries In Penn, Kentucky, Arkansas and Oregon May Indicate National Mood Of Voters.
--Taliban Suicide Bomber Kills 17 In Attack On NATO Convoy.
--EU Overrules UK And Tightens Hedge Fund Rules; New Restrictions Could Bar US Hedge Fund Activities In London Markets.
--New Study Says That People In Their 50’s Are Happier.
--Home Construction Up; New Building Permits Fall Sharply.
--Pfizer Lays off 6,000, Closes 8 Plants Worldwide.
--Stocks Climb In Early Trading.

Back to More Stuff:

My use of the term gravy is largely symbolic. An Icon for sanity. Protecting those who like things that taste good as opposed to just healthy eating. You can find a healthy eating site anywhere these days. But try to find a site tempts your inner cravings for fatty diets. Without a little gravy in your life, you too could become gaunt and despondent. Untrusting. A nagging mother-in-law to sensible living. What this world needs is a little more contentment. Wallowing in the sin of eating rich gravy, fried scallops or hot butterscotch Sundays. The Tids will always fight the battle for the dietary oppressed. Once they take away your gravy, what’s next? Scary, isn’t it?

I was going to write this Tid a week or so ago. I didn’t think at the time my personal observations were enough proof of what my eyes were concluding; There has been little or no damage to the shore and wildlife as a result of the oil spill. After all, headline after headline has been proclaiming the doom of mankind. The spreading of toxicity up and down the east coast after it finished ravaging the Gulf Coast. Yet I only saw a dark spot on the map floating off shore somewhere. And close up pictures didn’t show a contiguous mass, but merely disjointed streams. So last night on the ABC Nightly News of all places they said exactly what I and many had been seeing -- no damage to beaches; just seven wildlife creatures killed; and seafood havens still thriving; no overwhelming masses of thick oil. Moral: believe your eyes and not the press.

The same could be said about press reports against the Arizona law.

Head scratcher: Why did the annoying Press Secretary Gibbs say yesterday, “The President will be following the elections, but not closely.” “But not closely.” Why shouldn’t he watch them closely? That would seem natural. It reminds me of the self proclaimed intellectuals who announce triumphantly things like “I rarely watch TV.”

24-um: --The energy just keeps on coming. --How about Logan? He folded like a cheap suit. The ultimate gutless slimball. But. what agreat actor Itson is! --Lots of nice scenarios to be solved on next weeks don’t-miss-it finale of finale’s. They are saying you will see a surprise of surprises. --But Jack can’t die, cause they need him around for a movie. --Maybe a doctor will call saying “We were just foolin’ you Jack, Renee is alive.” And Jack will shoot himself in the head due to the guilt from his revenge trip. Then he will awaken from that deep slumber after sex with Renee. After all he hadn’t had sex in eight years and was probably really, really tired. (Remember the great “Dallas” cop out.) --Will Hassam’s daughter shoot President Allison? --Will Jack Marry Chole, or will Chloe stab Jack for leading her on all of these years.

I read somewhere yesterday that people now get paid to prove things that most people innately knew 20 years ago were true.

Speaking of Government waste, the esteemed Congress of the US of A says it will only take a few “tweaks” to fix Social Security. Then I read the tweaks that were mainly centered around raising the FICA Tax in one form or another or cutting benefits to seniors. But not once did I read, “Put a giant padlock on the SS Trust Fund so Congress can’t get their hands on it”.

Congress has been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to regulate the misdeeds of Credit Card companies. How about enforcing usury laws that have been in existence pretty much since the beginning of time.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 72 continues. –“Well, hi there Mr. Durham. We don’t see you in here much!” Marie took a quick glance at me as she dropped menus on the table. I turned my eyes toward Paul in a soft and loving illusion. Marie seemed to relax. I didn’t. I ordered coffee. I almost said Diet Coke for Paul but he spoke up quickly and ordered Coffee and an éclair. And then chatted with Marie as though he was the happiest guy on the face of the earth.
“Do you come here often when in town?” He asked curiously, but non threatening when Marie had left. Why was I measuring ever word, every nuance.
“Often a bunch of us come down after one of our crime chaser meetings.” I answered casually.
“Ah yes, the vandalism caper.” He laughed a little.
“Hey, that turned out to be a big deal”, I protested! Then we both laughed.
“I think something is still going on.“ Now Paul got serious. “Nothing is adding up to me anymore. Especially Kent Middleton.” I didn’t show any emotion. “As I think back to my early days of proposing our solutions to BiEm, I never realized until just recently how odd…” he paused, “…well maybe odd is a bad word. Ambitious, yeah ambitious Middleton’s first requirements had been. Hey, I’m all for looking out beyond, but Kent was looking for technology that could never happen under the guidelines of legal development of embryo research.
“Maybe Ke…, Middleton is just smarter than the average researcher. Always looking several steps beyond. And you know, what’s legal today could change in a flash. It’s a new world.” He looked at me. Nodded as in “go on”. We looked deeply into BiEm before arranging the financial package. What we liked best wasn’t about where they were, but the built-in flexibility to go with ease where the winds might take them.”
“I’ll give you that, But that doesn’t change the way I see Middleton as a person now versus then.”

It is interesting how learned disciplines can interact to cause confusion. I have had a conflict ever since I took German for 7 years. And it all has to do with “ie” or “ei”. I always go by the relative clear-cut German rules which are often in opposition to the old “I before e…” In German, words that sound like “eee” are “ie and those that sound like “I” are ei.

Are umpires becoming worse at calling Balls and Strikes, or do we just have more technology now that can measure their inaccuracy? It’s the same for the instant replay in football. But think about this for a second or two. All of the technology monitors the officials. But, the players are still making human mistakes. Does that mean that in the future some people will figure out how to put chips in, for instance foot players, so that running backs will always make the perfect cut? Or maybe batters will wear video wrist bands that sow the umps error, and those arguments will be based on fact. How crappy would that be? On the other hand, maybe we should get rid of all the technical assistance in a game played by humans. Let the fans boo bad calls. And laugh inwardly when the ref makes an error in the home team’s favor.

The Answer:
Everybody knows about Amelia Earhart. But, do you know Bessie Coleman an extremely poor black southern girl who couldn’t find a teacher in the US and found a way to get to Paris for flying lessons. She became an inspiration to black men and women pilots and a very successful flying barnstormer. Neta Snook taught Amelia to fly. Also, Shiela Scott – First British person to fly round the world; Beryl Markham – 1st person to fly East to West across Atlantic; Jaqueline Cochran – 1st woman to break sound barrier; Harriet Quimby 1st women to get pilot’s license, fly across English channel. Other pioneers are Ruth Law, Katherine Stinson, Anna Low, Ruth Nichols, Elinor Smith and Florence Klingensmith. Anne Morrow Lindberg was the first womnan to get a glider’s license.

Happy Ending:
Happiness is having nothing to do that will keep you from rereading the Tids for typos. If you are a simple soul like me, it doesn’t take much.