“No nice men are good at getting taxis.”

Today's Tids Issue 3,838

For Charming Insults:

The general consensus from open minded observers is that Trump’s action against Syria was good at several levels. It obviously sends the message that the words of the US representative mean something. It enhances the apparent resolve of Trump’s message for his talks with China about NK. It strengthens the position of Tillerson in his very important, upcoming meeting with his Russian counterpart. It is considered a strong plus for all US diplomats across the globe. While I in my meager thought process originally went too conservative, reassessment says that the raid was just the right amount of force to emphasize to a brutal killer of his own people that the free civilized world will not stand silently on the sidelines any longer.

Your mother wears army shoes. -- I’m not saying I hate, you but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone. --Your birth certificate is an apology letter form a condom factory. --When your mother dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering. -- I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you. --Two wrongs don’t make a right. Take your parents for example. If I said any of this to somebody, I’d get a left cross to the jaw. But all those who were the brunt of Don Rickles’ humor took it as an honor. He made me laugh over the years. Now he won’t. Hey Saint Peter, “Your white robe looks like a tablecloth from a Knights of Columbus banquet.” See you Don.

I’m pushing Nikke Haley for President.

With all of the news floating around during the past 24 hours, I am most interested in learning what Trump and Xi are talking about with respect to trade and global economics. That is the discussion with long term consequences for all.

The Question:

Name a popular song written by George M. Cohan for WWI and adopted as a Favorite by fighting men and US citizens. This song was (and is after beers aplenty) often sung as a part of a medley featuring three other upbeat GMC songs. Name them.

The Headlines:

--US Launches Missile Strike. Against Syria Airfield Base of Gas Toting Planes; Russia Suspends Syria Communications With US; World Leaders Back US Syria Action; Press And Most Dems Trump Strikes. Anti-Assad Syrians Cheer.

--Job Growth Slows In March – Just 93K Added; Oil Hits One Month High After Syria Strike; Stocks Lower After Jobs Report And Syria Action.

--Swedish Terror: Truck Plows Into Stockholm Shopping Center Killing 3.

--Seattle Mayor Ed Murray Denying Allegations Of Sexual Abuse; Accused of Molesting Teen In 80’s; Two Other Men Emerge With Similar Stories.

--Aetna Dropping Iowa ACA Market.

--The Hill Looks For Sympathy At Liberal World Of Women conference, Saying Comey, Wiki-Leaks And US Misogyny Did Her In; Forgets To Mention Her Personality And Untrustworthiness.

Trump will have to eliminate two trips to Mir-A-Lago to pay for the Tomahawk Missiles.

We just had a wild lightning and thunderstorm during a snow white-out. God must have just met Don Rickles.

The general consensus of military pros based on available evidence is that Russia had warning of the strike. Also, the strike was launched at a time when the least number of humans would be present at the airfield. It is expected that Russia knows this, but it is also not surprising that Russia must complain in defense of its foster child. Russia doesn’t want war with the US and vice versa. But there will be a diplomatic dance.

People seem more adept at being blunt and impolite rather than friendly and charming. Crass and rudeness is cool, but I’d rather be square and as charming as an old northeasterner can be. Here are some good guidelines to practice. 1. Always show genuine enjoyment at meeting someone. 2. Be a little vulnerable.  3. Look more for agreement than confrontation.  4. Find opportunities for light unobtrusive touching. 5. Admit mistakes, defects and foibles. 6. Ask open ended questions so the other will speak freely.  7. Treat waiters with the same respect you would treat Bill Gates. 8. Remember names, and at always make it obvious that you remember them from a previous meeting even if you have forgotten.  9. Don’t name drop.  10. Say less than more.

I enjoy lots of orange without pulp – Cheetos.

Scratch off Ticket Number of the day – 3838.

Now the Dems will shout in the streets that Gorsuch is an illegitimate justice.

A healthy reader tells me I can cut my beef habit in a delicious way and lose the logy-ness – Salmon with cucumber dill sauce with a touch of horseradish and lemon. Cucumber? Isn’t there a better way?

A good Repub primary for 2020 could be Haley against Tillerson.

Chief economics guru Gary Cohn could become the most important and powerful advisor in the White House.

Brian Williams now on MSNBC is getting raked over the coals for saying last night that the pictures of US Missiles are beautiful.

Tarzanerina? A little 8-10-year-old girl was found in a forest in India playing and romping around with monkeys as if she was one of them. The Policemen who rescued her after woodsmen spotted the unusual community, said the monkeys were very protective of their little friend. In fact, after successfully evading the angry chimps and getting the girl in the car, the monkeys chased the car down the road. The hospital says she is beginning to walk on just two legs and has stopped eating off the floor. Tarzan could be real, after all. She could be an interesting date in her twenties. That is, if she makes a lot of money with her book and movie.

I have noticed that people around the country like to boast that they have the most corrupt legislature and state officers –“Mine are worse than yours.” I throw this into the pot for RI. The newly elected President of the Rhode Island Senate is Dominick Ruggerio. His nickname is “Rubbers”, because as a young romantic lad he was alleged to have been caught stealing some condoms from the local drugstore. I bet you don’t have one of those.

The headline quote was from Katherine Whitehorn, a British journalist known for her wit.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:

--Going in Style stars Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Alan Arkin In a bank heist movie, that it mainly about old men. I don’t like old men movies and I’ve heard every old person joke ever uttered. I’m staying away, but some will like it. They lose their income and decide to rob a bank. This cliché world is not too good.

--For the Kids this week we’ll have Smurfs: The Lost Village. Smurf addicts will love it, but it is not very good. Racing through a enchanted forest full of weird creatures looking for the biggest ever Smurf secret, is not that great.

--The Finest is the so-called best movie of the week. It is about a time in Britain when all of the men are over there fighting WWII. Because of the lack of men, a woman Catrin Cole is hired to write propaganda films. Her natural flare is recognized by a dashing movie producer and they set out with their crew of characters to produce a film that will lift spirits and warm hearts. Catrin finds love and drama and humor behind the camera. I’d go if this limited release flick ever gets here.

The Answer:

“Over There” was a big hit and big favorite of the WWI soldiers, especially the line in the chorus: “The Yanks are coming”. I remember many-a-late-night songfest singing aloud Over There, Give My Regards to Broadway, The Yankee Doodle Boy and You’re a Grand Ole’ Flag!. Humming yet?

Have a great weekend, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y!