Fast and inconsistent.

Issue 4,007

For calm in a Bewildering World

It’s nice as you begin getting used to 35 degree temps to come across an occasional 55 degree day that feels like summer all over again. Everything in this world is relative. Too many often get caught up in absolutism.

We have two big headlines this morning: “NK launches ICBM which can Reach any city on USA East Coast”. “Matt Lauer Fired for Inappropriate Sexual Behavior.” Which do you think will get the most talk and news coverage?

Food Shopping Tip: Always be sure to pack sensitive fragile potato chips on top of high density crunchy Cheetos. Never the other way. That is an absolute.

The Question:

Name five leading commercial brands of bacon, and how they rank against each other. Bonus: Name three “gourmet” brands.

The Headlines:

--NK Missile Test Scares US Military Heads; Word Is That The next Big Scare Comes When H-Bomb I Successfully Tested; NK, Says: When We have it, Then We Talk About Negotiations.

--Morning Surprise: Lauer Latest Caught Foolin’ Around With Staff; Garrison Keillor Walks The Plank In the Afternoon; Bill Clinton Accusers Are Back On The Stage; Tweeters Use Lauer Episode To Go After Trump.

-- Man Arrested For Tampa Area Serial Killer Murders.

--Siberia Sets November Low Temperature Of Minus 60 Degrees F.

--Two Silly American Tourists “Moon” Bangkok Temple And Are Arrested; Idiots Put Photos On Social Media.

The Voice is becoming less predictable as last night “Sure to be finalist” Janice Freeman got the boot (Not thrown by JH). This proves again that it isn’t really always about the talent, but the demographics of the audience. I have to say that Adam Cunningham won the “Sing-off” competition, but Janice shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

The way celebs, TV personalities and world leaders are falling to temptation, it won’t be long before there will be no men in positions of power or influence. Crazy.

Speaking of wayward personalities, The Golf media is definitely all atwitter about the return of Tiger Woods as part of a super all-star field for this weekend’s PGA tournament. Tiger is saying he can do it all again, and 8 of the top 10 players in the world will be there to challenge his new found game. TV will be loving the ratings.

Eli Manning deserves better than a heartless benching.

A student at The University of Washington was feeling for her friend who was seriously ill in a hospital over Thanksgiving. She tweeted out that she would donate to St. Jude’s Hospital 25 cents for every favorite and 50 cents for every retweet. She was prepared to spend $1,000 of her own money. But, she didn’t fully realize the power of viral media. Now, she is on the hook for $200K. Double Yikes. Now she has a “Go Fund Me” page. Tweeting can get you in big trouble.

People are calling the firing of Matt Lauer the “Revenge of Anne Curry”.

Criminal conspiracy in plain sight, Department: The city bans the very handy and utile plastic bag and big stores like Wal-Mart charge a nickel for every paper bag! Who’s paying off who?

The Answer:

In a test by The Bacon Scouts of America, a group shamelessly in support of butcher shop bacon, tested five commercial mass produced products. Five brands randomly selceted were tested – Oscar Meyer, Farmland (Smithfield), Hormel Black Label, Wright and a No-name store brand. Farmland won for flavor, Saltiness and Low Shrinkage. In the fourth category, Fat to Meat ratio, No-Name and Wright were clear winners. Note, most of you know that you should always turnover the package to see the fattiness of the strips. (Most brands, especially Oscar, show the best of meatiness on the front) Bonus: The top Gourmet brands of bacon are Nolechek’s Meats, Woods Smoked Meats, RJ’s Meats and Grand Champion Meats.

Put a smile on a friend’s face – add bacon to a sandwich. Vegetarians will excuse themselves so they can smile in private.

Robust Tids Back tomorrow.