Today's Tids Issue 4.657
Americans; We are:
There are no parades this weekend. There are no concerts amongst the grand DC memorials to wars past; by statues in cities, towns and villages across the land. Memories of those loved don’t need parades and concerts. They live on in hearts. The moments of happiness, the despair of tragic death. This a weekend that doesn’t need to be produced because what it means it is always there. In our isolation we will remember. When walking on beaches and in open spaces we will remember. While sitting on rocks above crashing seas we will remember. Because what is important is in the hearts of those left to love the memories. There will be no parades. But we will feel the comfort in the warmth of heaven’s sun.
Puns have groan on me.
The colleges seem to be caught in the middle. They are getting sued because they stopped live classes out of the need to be safe for all. And they will be sued if they open before it’s time and some student gets sick.
The Question:
Who is Barbara Parkins? Bonus: Eating in is in, so you probably know all of the world’s biggest “Pizza delivery chains.” Name the top ten.
The Headlines:
--US/China Tensions Back In News; Stock Markets Don’t Like; Hong Kong Braces For New China Security Law Which Would Squash Resistance Of China Aggression.
--Pakistan Airlines Plane With 107 Crew And Passengers Crashes In Karachi; Came Down In Busy Residential Neighborhood; At Least 105 Feared Dead; 2 Known Survivors; Not Boeing Max.
--Lori Loughlin And Hubby Plead Guilty; Will Pay fines, Get Jail Time And Community Service.
--House Stimulus Bill Going Nowhere In Senate.
We should be earmarking a lot of this new found federal money on tress to job retraining. Bouncing back will be hard, made harder by the disappearance of many job categories. I’s the old “Give a guy a fishing pole thing. Handouts plug leaks but preparing people to exist in a future radically different builds dams against surging waters.
What did 50 Cents do when he was hungry? 58.
We are about to see the end of a free and independent Hong Kong. It sems destined to become the latest reminder of tyrannical government overreach. A reminder for us to guard against chipping away at a solid foundation; but true sadness for good people who may never exist in freedom again. The end off a country.
My friend Tyrus came in first in the Beijing marathon but wasn’t awarded a gold medal. The Chinese refused to acknowledge Ty won.
A new poll says that USA People think Donald Trump will be better for the economy and that Joe Biden will be better for coronavirus. What qualifies Biden to be better with Cornavirus? Maybe he will confuse it.
Insufferable TV: Cuomo on Cuomo interviews.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is a scenter.”
I starting to think that some readers are tiring of my puns, because they are sending me new ones more often lately. Unfortunately, over the years The Tids Quips Department (TQD) have pundered just about every better variety play on words. I have vowed never to repeat myself, and that goes for pun usage too. Which is quite punishing to day in and day out explorations of newness. So, thanks for your concerns and efforts digging up some of the greatest examples of the best ever written lowest form of humor! But I have used almost all of them. But, someday my memory will fail and I’ll being repeating myself and you will find the old classics funny, very funny indeed. Like “If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. Now, that’s humerus.”
Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--Netflix has a new series out this week called “White Lines. It is supposed to be a mystery, and thriller but is so dreadfully over stylized and unrealistic that you lose all sense of fear and real tension with in characters. Too much music, too much posing in cute outfits and, did I say mediocre acting. And, it’s in Spain and a lot of the white printed English translations are against white sand.
I have seen more Netflix loser films and series than good ones. Some directors should be put in solitary confinement, with the Netflix execs who got snookered by them. Or reduce production budgets so directors would have focus on the story itself.
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The Answer:
Barbara Parkins had an active career in movies and on TV in the early 1960’s, and then one day it exploded in a small town in New Hampshire USA where she was cast as bad girl Betty Anderson in the TV version of Peyton Place. You remember that place and how evil it was. She was noticed again in Valley of the Dolls, She is mum on her love affairs one of which is said to have been with Marcel Marceau! She was a bridesmaid for Sharon Tate. Bonus: This is actually an easy question for everybody I would bet. The top ten are Domino’s, Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, Papa John’s Pizza, Mellow Mushroom, Marcos Pizza (Taking a bigger slice of the market), Papa Murphy’s, Uno Chicago Grill, Hungry Howie’s and Jet’s Pizza. The next five are CiCi’s, Sbarro, Shakey’s, Godfather’s and Round Table. Around here, the dominate brands are mainly local, although Dominos does quite well.
What’s the opposite of minimum? Maxidad.
Hmm, maybe I should be repeating old puns sent in by Tidsters after all.
Well, this brings us to an end of “Tunes-I-have-remembered-and liked-over-the-decades” Week.’ It’s Memorial day, and I can only end with this one.
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