You're Number One.

 

 

Today's Tids Issue 5,258 

Dreaded squash medley returns:

 

 

Wow! It’s September already. Who woulda thunk it. Time passes, but the memory of 911 doesn’t. The world will stop that day of infamy. And we will all remember. And for the people not yet born we will all tell the story of tragedy and courage. September is here with kids back in school and football on fields in earnest. The air always feels a little better, but Hurricane warnings will loom so weather people can don their rubber suits. And the tourists here will begin to dwindle. And I will personally feel relaxed especially if I fast forward through political commercials, Happy September, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y! 

 

Serena Williams is on her way to the biggest sports story of the year. She has looked very strong wining two matches including that last one against the #2 seed. The are no real superstars to get in her way going forward. And remember, she has a winner’s heart. It will only be her stamina that keeps her from raising the trophy. Get ready for a news explosion. Especially since this is all happening in front of the NYC media empire and Big Apple fawners. 

 

While the current market hiccups are producing agita among investors right now, this is actually August being August on Wall Street. It has been like this for 35 measured years. September is always the Month that tells. 

 

My neighbor texted me, "I just made synonym buns!" I texted back, "You mean like grammar use to make?"  

 

I’m looking for a place to hide 

As politicians begin to chide 

Each other's negative side. 

And most often rather snide. 

 

The Question: 

Who are the all tine Womens Tennis Grand Slam winners? 

 

The Headlines: 

--Markets Continue To Chew On Powells Words As Big Labor Day Weekend Looms. 

--Trump Documents Speculation And “What-If’s” Continues To Dominate Many News Reports. 

--Super Heat Shuts Down Cal’s Freeway 5 Near Castaic Fire. 

--UN Inspectors Move Away From Ukraine Nuke Plant After Russia Shelling’ Immediate Shut Down Of Facility Is Ordered. 

--Ukraine Now Moving Towards East To Set Up New Counterattack. 

 

Say it ain’t so Sarah Palin. Yes, the woman who might have made congress interesting next year lost her bid to return to stardom to Mary Petola who won the race for the vacated lone Alaska seat. 

 

The hot dog that won the movie award was an Oscar wiener. 

 

One thing we know for sure about the college athlete NIL system... luxury car dealers are going to do very well. 

 

I have noticed that a big new food trend is putting a salad type of conglomeration all over a good piece of meat.  

 

I believe that many more investors will start taking aim at those profitless wonder stocks which have been kept alive solely on hope. 

 

A favorite Pun: Becoming a vegetarian is a big, missed steak. 

 

It appears that the NEA has Covid as an excuse now for Math and reading ineptitude among USA students. They will probably ask for more money to fix it. You think? 

 

I’m getting tired of all these “firsts” designated by age, race, ethnicity religion and any number of distinguishable individual traits. Hell, I'm an aging white man walking on spindly legs writing the 5,258th column about nothing in particular. I don’t see me as a feature on the evening news. 

 

Everything in this world is about having a public relations person.  

Terrific people throughout this nation do really great things big and small every day. I am continually amazed at the excellence I find in people. 

 

I am also really tired of Tom Bardy’s personal news.  

 

Some people do great things each morning when they wake up every day trying to find their way while combatting a mental disease.  

 

A fake noodle is an impasta. 

 

The Answer: 

Margaret Court has 24. Serena Williams is right behind her with 23. Serena can tie if she wins this US Open, maybe her last big-time tournament ever. Next is Steffi Graf with 22. Helen Wills has 19 and she is followed by Chris Evert who is tied with Martina Navratilova at 18. The rest are Billy Jean King, the great Mo Connelly, Monica Selas, Molia Mallory and Suzanne Lenglen. 

 

Today is National Letter Writing Day. Wouldn't it be great if everybody got out a piece of nice paper and a good pen and wrote pleasant thoughts to a friend or a parent lover or child. Or nice note to someone who touched you during your life and you forgot to thank, or properly say goodbye. It would also be great for the US Postal Service bank account. 

 

Elvis Parsley was the king of vegetables. 

 

See you all tomorrow.