No worry. We’ll raise your allowance.

Today's Tids Issue 2,209
Opening Stuff:

Wow! It’s the last day of the month that does nothing.

One of the reasons that the cost of organic lettuce is so high for average buyers who earn a living is that many communities are issuing vouchers that double the value of food stamps when used to purchase organic veggies from local farmers. Just one more example of how government or “do-gooder” meddling destroys basic economic principles of supply and demand.

In twenty years or so we will get our first presidential nominee raised on Facebook. Aspiring pols should be really careful about what’s on their “Wall”. In fact Facebook with its potentially damaging archives could own the US Government.

The Question:
Today marks the anniversary of the death of a famous undefeated boxer in an airplane crash. Who is he? Give me five more sports tragedies that were the result of airplane crashes.

The Headlines:

--East Coast On Alert For Earl.
--Petraeus Says Karsei’s Concern About Taliban Leaders Hanging Out In Pakistan Is Legit; But Adds That Pakistan Is Still On US/Allies Side.
--0-Man To Talk Of Iraq Victory As Afghan Escalates; New Englanders Must Choose between Loosing Sox, Prez or Weather Channel.
--Poll: 71% Of new Yorkers Want Mosque Moved To Another Site; Up From 63%.
--RI, Maine Top New England States In foreclosures: Two States In Top 10 nationally.
--Market Jittery Ahead Of Housing, Consumer Confidence Data.

In case you are interested, according to a new survey the five best airports in the US are Houston, Orlando, Minn/St.Paul, Portland (OR) and beautiful and cozy Providence RI. The five worst are the NYC airports, LA, St. Louis, Washington DC and Boston. I think the RI Airport authority has just been given a little new ammo for their continuing battle with Boston’s Logan.

Loser celebrities will always continue to proliferate because there is always some loser media publisher waiting to make a buck off of their antics.

Brookins and Cassatt tell us that a bookkeeper is a guy who checks out library books and never returns them.

Did you happen to notice that Mad Men captured a truck load of Emmy awards on a show that was having great ratings opposite the show Mad Men.

It’s not that he ever got out of it, but “Prime Time” returns to full campaign mode tonight with his boast of living up to a campaign promise by getting out of Iraq. This coincides with a national release of tid-bits about his daughters, who he and Michelle vowed would never have their lives made public.

Chicago citizens are so concerned about crime in the streets after one of the worst summers ever, they are calling for the National Guard to come in to patrol neighborhoods. I guess they have had some pretty poor community organizers in the past.

BTW, have you noticed that Obama’s 12 year old daughter Malia is almost as tall as Mom who is a really, really tall woman.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 91 continues. “Good afternoon Kent. What’s happening?” God, I hate this guy.
“Well Jason, I was just about to ask you the same question, What’s going on about following the movements of the Durham woman now that she spotted you, And probably the whole town of Fosterville knows it?”
“No problem.” I hate people who say No Problem. We rented a new car which is more in keeping with the town.”
“Where is she now?”
“Isabelle called about a half hour ago to say she was on her way to Boston and we picked her up just as she left her town. She was tearing!” Oh no, I thought, as my mind raced back to the day when her car was forced off the road.
“So, Izzy just told you to follow her?”
“Sort of.”
“Sort of? What’s sort of mean?”
Iz told me that Durham could be a big problem and to work out a strategy.” I didn’t need to talk to this creep any longer.
“Bye.” I hung up and immediately dialed Boulder.
“Henry.” God he was relaxed.
“It’s Kent. Where’s Sarah?” There was a strange, long pause.
“Why do you ask?”

Making you feel Guilty Department:
Ever wonder about the disposing of batteries? I haven’t. but, there is a right and wrong way to do it. Almost all of the common alkaline/manganese, nickel metal hydride and Carbon Zinc AAA, AA, C, D, 6V and 9V can be tossed in the trash. Button batteries used in hearing aids, toys or greeting cards must be brought to the “Household Hazardous Waste site” (I’m not kidding – “Happy Birthday!” and be sure to waste half a day trying to find a hazardous waste site. Shoot me.) Car batteries must go back to place of purchase. Silver Oxide, nickel cadmium, lithium and sealed lead acid must also go to that mysterious recycling center, wherever it is.

Yesterday I was driving behind a SUV emblazoned with the words “Environmental Police”. And I’m thinking, what’s next. “Fatty Meats Police”, “High Sugar Content Soda Police”, “Wearing Fur Coats in Public Police” or “Don’t Harbor Bad Thoughts about Muslims Police”.

There was a huge survey just published by Beloit U. about what kids today never knew existed. How about simpler, unencumbered times.

Do you get the feeling that politicians today read 1984 thinking it was full of great ideas. While the folks read it laughing that it could never happen here.

The Answer: 
Rocky Marciano of Brocton Mass never lost a fight but lost his life in a 1969 Iowa plane crash. Next, I remember the great Roberto Clemente who died in a crash as he was delivering food to island hurricane survivors. Then there is the US figure skating team of 1961, the Marshall College Football team, Knute Rockne, Thurman Munson, and the U of Evansville Men’s Basketball Team. Of course the strangest was the death of golfer Payne Stewart when all members of a private plane flight were overcome and the plane continued under auto-pilot until it ran out of fuel. I’m sure you have some others.

The End:
The way things are going the letters U.S. will soon stand for United Subsidies.

About two months ago the Tids reported that RI’ers should be worried about the prospects of hurricanes due to the warming of local waters. Now, I am really worried as Earl swirls while hurricane shutters unfurl. “Unfurl for Earl”.

But not as depressed as I am about the Red Sox. Just three days ago I was joyous as the Sox came with 4 1/2 games of the co leaders of the AL East. This morning they are 7 out. It's over.

I don’t hate you.

Today's Tids Issue 2,208
Opening Stuff:

I think the media has finally gone too far by over promoting…The Sun. Stirring peoples passions to the point where they must mindlessly jump in their cars to follow the big ball of heat in the sky. And when they have savored their god while roasting their bodies, what is their reward? Gigantic traffic jams.

I’ve talked about this before, but now that the silly season (Isn’t it odd that we can dub the period in which Americans analyze and determine who will be their future leaders, the silly season) is in session, the “Hate” rhetoric accelerates. Isn’t it awful that people can actually say that they hate people because of party affiliation? I mean people have to start being a little more flexible. How can you hate another human being who you could easily like personally…and vice versa…just because of some superficial tag they are wearing? How can we assume that all people dubbed with some ideological designation automatically think exactly alike. Frankly, it is impossible. Like just because you are for a strong military, it doesn’t mean you have to support fighting stupid wars. Or just because you feel for the poor, it doesn’t mean you can’t help them without giving them money for no effort. I may not agree with a lot of things other’s believe in, but I don’t hate them for believing. I find it hard to believe that everybody can’t be perceptive and as understanding as me!

Every generation of kids always looks back at pictures and swears they neve r wore those ugly clothes of their era. Burnt orange, saddle stitched, pegleg pants! Never.

The Question:
Name five of the earliest great explorers of the US East Coast.

The Headlines:

Stocks Down In Lightest Volume Of The Year.
--& US Soldiers Killed In New Afghan Fighting.
--Prez Exhorts GOP To Halo Pass Small Biz Bill; GOP Faithful Wonde3rs Why Prez Didn’t Listen To Public When Signing Public Unions Extortion Bill.
“Earl” Roars Through Northern Caribbean; Could U’S’ East Coast Be Next?
--American’s Spending A Bit More; Economy Still Limping.
--100’s Of Thousands Of Good Old Americans jam Lincoln memoriam For Beck’s “Restoring Honor’ Rally; CBS Lowballs Crowds At 87,000 (+9K); Most Other Media Have It Between 300-500K.
--Roger Clements Pleads Not Guilty.

Back to More Stuff:

Two of the best picks by the Patriots in recent drafts have been Gostkowski and Gronkowski. I think they’re onto something.

I was thinking as Woods got off to his 6 under start in the FedEx, that if he would win some writer will argue that the FedEx should count when measuring majors against Nicklaus. You know it is going to happen someday when somebody decides to rewrite history.

After a long hard winter, Spring brings a welcome releaf.

When Calderon preaches to American citizens, I'm trhinking... is there a worse person to talk about how to run a country

The Sun is ruining my summer!.

Regardless of what the media declares as the official estimates for the Beck rally, the reality is that there is an incredibly strong undercurrent of “Lets do something about this rudderless government of ours” grabbing the American public. This will foster higher turnouts by conservatives and independents which may get lost in “do you like” polling. Let’s say that the polls say 51% Dems over 49% GOP, but 85% of Republicans and Indies show up to vote -- GOP wins. That has been evident in some polling misreads in the early primaries.

There is nothing new under the sun Department:
Pundits are praising the cleverness of Google for the way it changes its logo for the occasion. And I agree it is clever…just as it was very clever for the same logo alteration technique for Time Magazine promotions 35 years or so ago.

As far as I can see, this entire fascination and over saturation of news about “green diets” is sure to accomplish one thing – higher priced lettuce.

I have come to the conclusion that the group in America most deserving of the title “Entitlement Kings”, are adult bicycle riders.

In addition, through careful observation I have determined that the car most consistently baring the Obama bumper sticker is the Subaru. Call me an ideological profiler, but I now look askance at anybody driving a Subaru.

The Answer:
The first that comes to my mind is Henry Hudson. Then I think of Adrian Block. Samuel de Champlain, Lief Erickson (Maybe Newport RI), Thomas Walker and Giovanni da Verrazzano’

The End:
In response to Today’s Tids, Subaru reports a high incidence of service reports with the words “scratch off Obama sticker”.

Due to an extraordinarily slow computer, TTSE didn't not make it today.

They may have Subaru, but I love them anyhow.

The Pats are ruining my Winter*

Today's Tids Issue 2,207
Opening Stuff:

That rumble you hear is the pounding in the hearts of surfers as they await the anticipated wave action created by Danielle’s romp thorough Bermuda.

After last night’s Pats Pre-season game against the formerly lowly Rams, the Pats fans are getting restless.

0-Man has been pretty effective at creating government employee jobs. But, like census workers and eventually infrastructure workers, they are temporary. And none of them are value added jobs. Jobs that leverage America’s economy. Unless…unless…we can export the US government. Which would not only improve the trade deficit but keep the pols and bloated executive branch workers out of the country regulating our world competitors into submission instead of our own hard working people.. Works for me. Don’t immigrate. We’ll send our government to you.

The Question:
Here’s poser for most: Name five of the best know Yoga masters.

The Headlines:

--Carter Gets Gift Of Gomes From Kim.
--Stock Markets Wary In Advance Of Bernanke Remarks; Expect Word Of Slowing Economy; Many economists Downgrading Predictions.
--1 Million More Displaced By Pakistan Floods; Rumors Say Taliban Targeting Foreign Aid Workers.
--Danielle Now Cat 4 Storm.
--Scientists Discover Two Multi-Planer Solar Systems.

Back to More Stuff:
Reasons Why Gambling is a Bad Idea:
A woman working a smaller independent pharmacy in Cranston RI embezzled $294,000 to play Keno. Her total winnings over that 18 month period was $20,000. Bad odds! Even worse when you are stealing to feed an addiction.

The Tids has been monitoring the arguments for and against Kindle and Kindle wanabees versus newer multifunctional devices like iPad. The first bit of news is that you have to be a reader who buys 35-75 books to get a payback on your kindle purchase. It is cheaper to order paperbacks from Amazon or drive to Borders than to download to kindle. So basically, Kindles and imitators aren’t for everyone. They’re cool, but not necessarily cost efficient. Now…if you got a free download of the daily Tids with each Kindle book, now we’re talking bonanza!

Note to Taliban attacking foreign aid workers. It’s “Foreign Aid workers” and not “Foreign workers with Aids”.

The con man pulled the wool over the couple’s eyes and they were fleeced.

In Rhode Island we have a long term 2nd District Congressman who in my eyes just exists much like an employee of the Department of Motor Vehicles. He just happens to be a democrat with a sympathetic life (He is in a wheelchair due to a shooting) in a overwhelming Democrat State. I heard one of his Republican potential opponents describe him as a “Nice Guy who is just part of the growing big government problem.” I think this is a good expression for many of the candidates going after incumbents.” One of the issues in American politics is the reelection of incumbents often based on the faulty logic: “The government is in big trouble but my guy isn’t part of the problem.” These folks should realize that your guy is a nice guy be=ut because he there (Often as a log in a chair) he is part of the problem”.

I still think playing the Superbowl In NYC Whoops – New Jersey) in February is a stupid idea. It’s the kind of decisions you get when money trumps intelligence.

As a kid who loved football in the 40’s and 50’s, you couldn’t help but carve out a large piece of your heart for the Cleveland Browns of Paul Brown. Who didn’t dream of becoming Otto Graham, Lou Groza, Marion Motley, Dante Lavelli, Max Speedie, Bill Willis, Frank Gatski, Ray Renfor and Mike Noll just to name a few.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 91. –“Where have you been!” Isabelle looked up at me as I entered her office that now had the feel of a fortress. Then she smiled. “I’ve removed your girl friend from our account. Our funding is secure. Our lawyers have been talking to the FDA regulators and FBY and we are making good progress. So, I have been busy while you were mysteriously among the missing.”
I said nothing for a few seconds. “Why should you be concerned about what I was doing when I’m not.” I looked at her unmoved and unnerved. “You’ve got to get out of your panic mode. It doesn’t look good. You could do something really stupid.” She turned red. She knew I was right. I always am.
Instead, she changed the subject. “Your friend is a loose end,” she started. Now I was worried. “We have to do something about it.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that Sarah Durham is much to smart to have hanging around.” I knew that and the more you tried to squash her, like Izzy already ahs, the more determined she becomes.
“Let me handle her.”
“I already have…and it isn’t working. I’ll take care of her. She is on her way into Boston, just as we suspected she would when we removed her from our account.”
I looked at her emotionless, but heart was racing. “Ok, do it.” Arguing with her was not the solution. I” have work to do”
I returned to my office and dialed Cotter.

Reading between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--The Last Exorcism is a Blair Witch style documentary of an exorcism. In fact its tied to the BWP. And tries to recall memories of the frightening Linda Blair. But it fails to scare in this hand held camera style documentary style movie about a sham southern preacher who laughingly takes on and exorcism project only to find that something real is happening. But, be prepared to laugh.
--Takers is a well cast film about two very slick bank robbers and two dogged detectives. The thieves want one more big heist before they retire. Unfortunately a disgruntled former bank heist mate squeals to cops. The ending’s a very cool surprise you will never guess.
--Piranah 3D. A tremor unleashes giant man-eating fish. You can guess the plot…and the special effects.


Quiz Answer: 
Think of this question as educational. Top Yoga people are Dean Ornish, Linda Folin, Kim Eng, Bryan Keat, Sharon Gannon, David Life Dahrman Mittra, John Friend, Rajshree Choudury, Gurmukh Khalsa, Swami Kriyannanda, Beth Shaw, Shiva Rea, Gary Kraftsow, Ana Forrest, David Swensnson, Sean Corne, Larry Payne, Lisa Walford, Krishna Kaur, Saul David Raye, Sara Ivanhoe and Vinnie Marino. I’ll go with Vinnie!

The new age:
Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Have an ethereal weekend.

*This is a paraphrase of the long time mantra of suffering Red Sox fans.

Maybe not so clueless.

Today's Tids Issue 2,1206

Opening Stuff:

The first 37 potato chips are the best. After that the thrill starts to fade.

The Republicans could do worse for a slogan than the words from Florida Governor primary winner Rick Scott, “Obama, Ried and Pelosi are destroying the American Dream for the next generation.” And, “We are the guardians of the American Dream.”

Thinking about Scott and people like him…true outsiders and inexperienced pols – how interesting would it be if the entire house and senate were composed with them. I’m sure the country wouldn’t fall apart and it might even get better. I’m thinking that congress is one place where experience is a negative.

The Question:
What did Tiger Woods Shoot today?

The Headlines:

--Taliban Expanding In North And West Afghan.
--One In Ten With Mortgage Face Foreclosure.
--Alaska Primary Awaits Absentee Ballot Count.
--DOW Closes Below 10,000.
--Tids Editor Decries Lack Of Real News.

Back to More Stuff:
This is one of those periods in the Stock markets when the so-called expert analysts have tons and tons of diverse knowledge, and don’t know anything.

Get this from Clueless Lane. Bonds are a scary place to be safe. Stock prices are too high. That’s right too high. Gold has no right being where it is. And cash. Even cash could be valueless. Happy yet?

How about that kid from Spain who came to the US to become a day trader. Talk about not getting around. He was just handed a back taxes bill form the IRS for $172 Million. His first reaction…”What’s the IRS.” Welcome to America.

Maybe he isn’t the Messiah after all. Here he has been on vacation for five days; Five days in which it has rained constantly. In fact, the worst vacation week of the summer. Or else, out of the goodness of his heart, he is calling for rain for the farmers. Yeah, that’s what he is doing. Calling for rain for the hard scrabble farmers of Martha’s Vineyard.

The hot new insider term of the moment on Wall Street is the Hindenburg Omen which sounds really, really scary…and it is if the market follows what has happened 1 out the 4 times a bunch of technical levels based on 52 week highs and lows are achieved. It crashes and burns. But that means 3 of 4 times nothing happens.

I was playing golf with a friend who was having an awful day. He and I hit in the same trap. Trying to cheer him up after he hit another lackluster shot, I said, “I’ll smooth out the sand for you…You deserve a rake today!” He didn’t laugh.

The biggest environmental scam is not Global Warming but the Over fishing warning constantly perpetrated by marine environmentalists. Real science says that there are plenty of fish, but obviously some care must be taken. And good fishermen, experts inthis field knowit. The rub comes from the regulations where law has set arbitrary levels of what is overfishing, and the hardworking toilers of the sea can reach it regardless if there are a lot of fish or no fish.

As all of you know, I have dubbed Wall Street “Clueless Lane” based on the inability of these high priced financial gurus to really predict anything. But then a good reader says, “Maybe they aren’t so Clueless after all. “Reports are released showing things going up; Reports released showing things going down. The guys with the control and the money release bad news so that can buy as stocks decline. Then they release some good news so stocks go up and they sell. And so it goes…” Then he adds – “In the meantime we are left holding our heads and stomachs while we should be holding our "jewels" because they have got us by the you know what’s”

The Answer:
All of the Tiger sycophants are dancing in the streets as the #1 player in the world shot a 65. Could it be that the little bit of freedom was all he needed. Is golf that simple? Not for me.

Speaking of Clueless…have you read today’s TIds?

You can have my GPS thank you!

Today's Tids Issue 2,205
Opening Stuff:

Where is Noah when you need him?

What if everybody in the world bought a T-Shirt with that message from the trapped miners on front. It would raise money for the rescue and the miners families and remind everybody that there are still people in this world with self-discipline and strength of character. I’d wear one.

How about if kids wore one that said on the back, “No thanks Mom and Dad, I don’t need another iPod.”

I see where Elizabeth Hasselbeck has come out saying she isn’t as conservative as she appears to be while battling the liberal antagonizers on The View. In fact she says, I would call myself a Federalist! Wah, I’ll be doggone!...I’m a federalist too! She says she wants the power to get back to the states so we can stop the mandates from big Gov. I like a strong, but limited Federal government, with all issues not involving defense, interstate commerce, foreign treaties and…and…hmmm…anything else?...being determined within the individual states.

The Question:
Since his early fame as a well known super spy, Sean Connery has become one of the most watchable actors of our time. Name his first three super spy movies and five of his other best performances.

The Headlines:

--McCain And Jan Brewer Romp In Arizona GOP Primaries; GOP Rubio And Dem meek Look Strong In Florida – Will Face Indy Crist; Alaska GOP Sen Murkowski In Trouble Against Unknown Palin Backed, Gun totin’ Miller; Ben Quayle Overcomes “Dirtiest Campaign” To Take Congress Nod In AZ
--Stock Futures Fall On Much Lower than Expected Durable Goods Orders Report.
--43 Dead After String Of New Attacks In Iraq.
--Danielle Downgraded To Tropical Storm.
--RI One Of Ten States To receive “Race To The Top” Grants For Education Reform.
--Iran Says It has Successfully Test-Fired New Short range Surface To Surface Missile.
--Wild Fires Destroy 11 Homes Outside Of Ashland Oregon.
--Toyota Sets Goal Of 5 Million Hybrids By 2015.

Back to More Stuff:
Potato Chips are starting to approach overpriced status.

No Thanks to New Technology Department:
The Cal 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that it is ok for government agents to sneak into your driveway and secretly attach a GPS device to your car without a warrant. Can you say George Orwell? These dreamers who must be overdosing too much on that pervasive California Medical Pot say it doesn’t violate your 4th Amendment Rights because, “…you do not have any reasonable expectation of privacy in your own driveway - and no reasonable expectation that the government isn't tracking your movements.” Is there any common sense left in this world?

If you need a dose of convoluted logic on a daily basis you can always find it in those so-called intellectual Op-Ed pieces (Left or Right) in your daily newspaper.

The media has so successfully demonized the Tea Party movement that many conservative candidates are hedging their relationship with this broad group of concerned Americans.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 90 continues. –“Well boss, that noise you heard when you called in was Jack. Jack as in your boss. He was here to tell me that he was putting me in charge of the BiEm account in place of you, He’ll be calling you I’m sure.”
“Looks like I’m too late. What did he say to you?”
“He was not kind to you, which I thought was odd for Jack. He told me he had a call from Isabelle who told him that you had been distant and distracted. Jack said he had noticed that too. And, you know that I have mentioned to you that I was concerned about your lack of response at times.”
I took it in and wasn’t surprised. Of course I was distracted, I thought. For the past several months I’ve been thinking of the next time I could see Kent. Like I’m starting to feel now. “I’ll handle Jack. What are our lawyers saying?”
“Do you mean about the technology scam?” I nodded at the phone knowing that my silence would keep Bill talking. “Well, they don’t like it more and more.”
“I don’t either, and I think it is going to get much worse for a lot of people at BiEm. The first thing I want you to do as the new manger of the BiEm account,” I said that sarcastically, “Is to go down to Jack’s office and tell him that HR&L should cancel its financial agreement with BiEmbryo. Here’s what you should say to back up your reccomendation.” I outlined a vigorous defense for his decision. To which Bill immediately responded.
“You don’t sound distracted, Boss,” He said in a smiling tone.
“I’m not at all. This is very important and you have to get it done.” Then I added, “I’m coming into the office.” As I hung up, I looked around the room at three questioning faces. I put on my most confident face, “I’ll explain later. What else do we have to talk about?”

A reader sends in a list of the worlds shortest books. They include: “The Amish Phone Directory”, “Things We Know To Be True” by John Kerry and Al Gore, “My Black Girl Friends” by Tiger Woods, “Dating Etiquette” by Mike Tyson, “Things I cannot Afford” by Bill gates and Things I Did To Earn The Nobel Peace Prize by Barack Obama.

The best selling book in China is about how Goldman Sachs is out to kill China. It draws heavily on information from a Rolling Stine Magazine article – “…a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money." – and adds its own sensationalized descriptions of the all consuming financial giant. Author Li who describes the company as, “…(having the) cruel character of a Manchurian tiger, the group creeps around the world, like a veteran hunter stalking its prey, when it smells blood it pounces!", says his book is no exaggeration and that Goldman may have been the cause of the entire world crisis.

Because housing sales aren’t up to the level of the go-go years, some economists are calling for a “Double Dip”. In fact it is the main topic of discussion this last week of Summer vacations. The fact is that the Housing boom was an aberration from true economic reality. Most of the excess sales in the market were the result of selling to people who couldn’t afford what they were buying. It is unfair to measure a recovering economy against a major industry sales curve that should never have happened. Now, there is a real problem with the growth of the National Debt. And the Global banking Leaders are now meeting with the idea of printing more money at the top of their wish list.

The Answer:
Connery as James Bond came on the scene with three early winners – Dr. No, From Russia with Love and Gold Finger. He actually made 7 Bond movies in all with the other four being Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Diamonds Are Forever and Never say Never Again. He won awards for his work in The Untouchables, The Name of The Rose, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and The Hunt for the Red October. Personally he was in one of my favorite all time movies “The First Great Train Robbery.” H was always a joy to watch and might also be remembered for Rising Sun, The Russia House and Finding Forester. I’m sure you have other favorites.

The End:
New technology lets other people find you maybe when you don’t want to be found. Allows the world to know your every action if you are inclined to be an open book. Allows small events in once obscure locations have an effect on your daily life within seconds. Allows the Tids to sneak into your home when you are not looking. See, technology looks good, but in reality it could ruin your life. Where’s my cave?

Think of someone you don't know.

Today's Tids Issue 2,204
Opening Stuff:

“Estanos bien en el refugio, Los 33.” That means “We are Ok – The 33 minors", and it was a a very happy note of encouragement received by a host of rescuers from trapped miners in Chile. The rescue team had just managed to insert a life support pipe between the surface and the minor’s prison below. Your heart has to leap. But get this. The pipe will deliver food, water and medical supplies while the hardy miners try to survive for the 4 Months it will take to dig them out! I’m thinking about them.

And of course our culture is experiencing the growth of entrapped minors --- in Facebook! With parents having to leave food and water outside of bedroom doors.

As you have noticed, the Tids financial department is typically cautious about the stock market these days. Yesterday was a good example of yet again desperate, manufactured enthusiasm driving the market upward. The reason for the uptick was supposedly increased Mergers & Acquisitions activity. Check out these headlines: 8:25 – “U.S. Stock Futures Rise As M&A Talk Boosts Sentiment; 9:37AM - ”Merger Outlook Lifts Wall Street At Open.”; 10:38 – “Why M&A Bump Is Bullish For Stocks.”; 2:13 – “Wall Street Flat As M&A Stir Fades.” What a crock!

The Question:
Exactly one thousand nine hundred and thirty one years ago today Mount Vesuvius erupted and destroyed what city. Name five other historic volcanic eruptions.

The Headlines:

--Stock Futures Gloomy One Day After Minor Uptick.
--Establishment Candidates Seem To Have Edge Over “Outsiders” Going Into Tuesday’s Primaries.
--Yen Reaches 15 year High Against The Dollar And 9 Year High Against The Euro.
--Atlantic Tropical Storm Danielle Moved Up To Cat 2 Hurricane.
--No Salmonella Found Beyond Two Original Egg Producers.
--RFK Jr. Wife Charged With Driving Under Influence Of Drugs One Month After Pleading Guilty To Drive While Intoxicated.
--Woods Divorce Finalized; All Parties Mum On Details.

Back to More Stuff:
A new Nielson study says that Blacks talk on cell phones twice as much as whites and that woman text and talk far more than men. There just has to be something funny in there. Maybe I'll come up with something overnight.

My brother-in-law writes to tell me that has created a good business making landmines that look like prayer rugs. He says prophets are going through the roof!

The next time you are sitting in traffic for a few more minutes than expected consider the woes of Beijing China commuters. The jam was over 100 Kms (62 miles) long and has lasted nine days! Hope you had more than one mug of a frappachino. Or is that a tea with ice cleam? Workers are feverishly trying to replace emergency call boxes with port-o-约翰’s.

If the establishment insider candidates win in the primaries it will be a license to steal.

I scoured last night’s Jon Stuart-Blago interview for something funny, but found nothing. Which just proves I guess that sociopaths aren’t funny.

A reader informs me a of a new Golf Czar being appointed by the 0-Man. He is rewriting some basic rules of golf. For instance the gimmie will be renamed the entitlement and only available to high handicappers. It’s all about fairness and basically eliminated any mentions of ability an successful achievement. In addition golfers will only be allowed one birdie and 6 pars. Anything in excess must be redistributed to all players having not made a birdie or par. Also, 18 and above handicappers will only report net scores versus gross scores by all others. This would enable redistribution of betting wealth. Kind of dis-incentifies practice and dedication, doesn’t it?

Microsoft’s Spell-check doesn’t recognize the spelling of Facebook. Is it jealous?

The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree Department:
Marcus Jordan son of Michael tweeted that he had spent $56K one 24 hour period in Vegas. But since he is under twenty one, the tweets referred to “$21 K at Liguid” (to swim in the pool) and “$35K at haze” (A night club.) That a lot of back strokes and dance steps.

And...It bothers me a lot that they want o build a full fledged casino a ½ mile form the sacred lands of Gettysburg. And It bothers me most because it is just one more sign of the Decline and Fall of the American Empire.

The Answer:
While Vesuvius-Pompeii is the most romanticized of volcanic eruptions, it is only #10 in deaths resulting with 3,360. But enormous in percentage of the population) The second most notorious eruption was that of Indonesia’s 1883 Krakatau explosion and the ensuing monster Tsunami and 36,417 deaths. ( Of course the worse disaster surrounding Krakatau was the awful 1960’s movie about it.) The highest death from an eruption was in 1815 when Idonesia’s Tamborra killed 92,000. The rest – 1902, Mt. Pelee, Martinique –29,000; 1985, Ruiz, Columbia - 25,000; 1792, Unzen, Japan – 14,300; 1783, Laki, Iceland – 9,350; 1919, Kelut, Indonesia – 5,110; 1882, Galunggung, Indonesia – 5,110; 1631, Vesusvius, Italy – 3,500.

Hope you had a blast today! See you sometime tomorrow.

History is what historians make of it.

Today's Tids Issue 2,203
Opening Stuff:

Today we enter the last week of the carefree days of summer. The family focus turns n from sandcastles to back to school hassles. Kids see fading images of beaches and merging ones of teachers. Yup, this is last minute details week in America.

There many complaints about the lyrics of today’s songs. I wouldn’t know because I don’t listen to today’s song’s, much less the lyrics. But this weekend, lyrics of a well known song popped up in large print and I read them carefully. They’re pretty good I thought. Here they are: “A long, long time ago / I can still remember how that music used to make me smile. / And, I knew if I had my chance, I could make those people dance, and maybe they’d be happy for a while. / But February made shiver with every paper I’d deliver / Bad news on the doorstep – I couldn’t take one more step. / I remember how I cried when I read about his widowed bride, / Something touched me deep inside, the day the music died.” Kinda gets to you doesn’t it.

Some authors should use in their promos: “Quick, easy read…Skip entire paragraphs, even chapters and not miss a thing.” Actually, it particularly true of famous writers. You know the kind; Where their name is three times larger than the title of the book.

The Question:
The “Mod Squad” isn’t so mod anymore. Clarence Williams just turned 71 while Michael Cole turned 65 in July. And yes, the ever youthful Peggy Lipton joins her fellow pre-baby boomer co-stars and is now how old? Pure and uncomplicated appearing Peggy came from an upper income family where she was sexually abused had many famous boy friends. Name six. Who was her first husband?

The Headlines:

--Iran Inaugurates First Iran Built Unmanned Bomber Calling It The “Ambassador Of death.”; Bomber Action Coincides With Start-up Of first Nuke facility.
--Floods Drive Out 250,000 Chinese As Rains Batter Country.
--Tourists Warned To Watch Out For Hungry Bears In Yellowstone.
--“Weird” Illness Damages Muscles of 19 Oregon High School Football Players After Precatice; Doctors Perplexed.
--Wall Street Expected To Open Higher.

Back to More Stuff:
Did you hear about the attack if the rampaging babies? It was the Crawl of the Wild!

A psychological researcher says that CEO’s who lie about (Exaggerate) quarterly performances never say “Er”, “Uh” or other hesitation utterances. It’s probably because they have rehearsed their misleading data. So if you don’t hear ers or uhs, be prepared for a restatement of earnings. Probably with ers or uhs. On the other hand, Politicians use ers and uhs even when they are lying because they can’t remember how they lied about a position an earlier statement.

And then there’s Harvard’s Marc Hauzer, a well know moralist and psychology professor who was found misrepresenting data from his research to alter the findings probably to support his preconceived opinions. Consequently, all of his theories about monkeys as conversationalists and communicators will probably have to be reevaluated…if anybody cares. The importance of this is that there is a new research report on something every day, and how many can you believe when often they take on opposing sides?

A local columnist commenting on the Roger Clements indictment reminds us of the difference between “in” and “to”. It’s ok to lie in Congress but not so good to lie to Congress. But then there is the bigger question – How would congress know?

When you sift through all of the rhetoric, the PelosiPalozza Health Care package is just one giant, new government regulation.

Personally, I don’t get salsa. But then I’m one of those people who still prefers dinner plates with divider compartments so foods don’t touch.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 90 continues. –“Well Henry, I started, “We know that the company in its entirety is also a major potential benefactor of the conspiracy. As are certain suppliers,” I looked at Paul, “and of course the financial backers!” I smiled.
“You know Sarah, You may be on to something about those financial rascals!” His eyes lit up. Everybody laughed. But I think eyes were opening around this table as the prospects for an even broad conspiracy took shape. And we know the FBI has been talking to us at HR&L. Or, am I somehow trying to take the light off of Kent.
“I think we should stir up some excitement. After all, I am still in charge of the bulk of BiEm’s money.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Bill.
“Hi Boss,” came is jovial answer. But no banter as usual.
“How’s the mood around there? Is the FBI nosing around today?” What have you heard?”
“Good. No. A little,” came the cryptic reply.
“Not very talkative this morning, Bill. Or was that Hi Boss a warning to somebody in the room”.
“Still as sharp as ever, eh boss.” I heard some mumbling in the background. Then a long silence. “.” Sorry about that, Jack was here.”
“Jack, why wouldn’t you talk in front of Jack?”
“I don’t talk in front of anybody these days…except you Boss. Except you.”

If the state employs the same people in the spanking new, glistening DMV building, has anything really changed?

I only have one thing to say about the passing of Bobby Thompson, the nice guy who crushed the spirit of Brooklyn Dodger fans for decades: They never should have taken out Newk!

You have to wonder about a correlation between Bloomberg’s assault on traditional yummy, fattening foods and the rise of a bedbug infestation in the Apple. Could it be that veggie sweat attracts unwanted pests…like bedbugs and PETA?

The Answer:
Peggy Lipton will be 64 August 30. As is the case with many sexually abused children, Lipton in her early career was fairly promiscuous. And after she became famous, dated many big stars including Paul McCartney, Sammy davis Jr., Elvis Presley, Lou Adler, Terrance Stamp (And brother Christopher) and musician Keith Moon. Finally she married Quincy Jones and had two children Kidada and Rashida.

There is nothing like a blustery day att he Ocean. Yum!

Don McClean has helped keep alive a memory of a singer who I barely knew existed, much less listened to.

We need a vacuum.

Today's Tids Issue  2,201
Opening Stuff:

I have nothing to do, and it feels good.

Here’s two good reasons to be cautious about the stock market: Last week and this week. Last week the Bulls out numbered the bears 40% to 30% with 30% neutral. This week the bears outnumber the bulls 43% to 30% with 27% neutral. Confused? I’m saying, wait ‘til September 15 to find out where the market might really be going. Summertime guessing sucks.

Funny Doormats Department:
“Please stay on the mat. Your visit is important to us and your knock will be answered in the order in which it was received”; “I’m really glad to see you. But then, I lie like a doormat”; “I will not be a doormat. I will not be a doormat. I will not be a doormat! Oh, just walk all over me.”; “This is not a joke. If you ever want to see these humans again, bring me a 5 pound rib roast in a plain paper bag. – The Dog”; And… “Nice Underwear!”

The Question:
A computer guy named John McLoone developed a program so his computer could play “Hangman” using all 90,000 words in the dictionary. Name five words that were considered toughest to solve. Clue: They weren’t oddball posers like benzodiazepine or onomatopoeia.

The Headlines:

--Alert Forest Ranger Observations Leads To Arrest Of Notorious Arizona Escapee And 1st Cousin/Fiancé.
--WS Futures Lower As Economy Woes Outpace Hopes Among Investors.
--Fidelity Reports Record Number Of “Hardship” Withdrawals From 401K Accounts In 2nd Quarter; Troubling Numbers Indicate Depth Of Economic Woes.
--Clements Indicted; Arrogance Catches Up With Former red Sox Princess.
--Palestine And Israel Considering Invitation To met In White House In Two Weeks; Admin Keeps Pre Election issues In Limelight.
--Kenya Unhappy With US Action To Grant Asylum To Obama Aunt; Says 0-Man Kin Never In danger As Implied By US Action.
--RI”s Giant Warwick Mall Re-Opens Almost 5 Months After Ravaging Spring Floods.

Back to More Stuff:
The Amazon River pushes so much water out into the Atlantic Ocean that, more than 100 miles out at sea from the mouth, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean! The volume of water in the Amazon River is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States Amazing. Hard to believe, isn’t it.

I think this whole thing about the world’s richest people pledging to give away half their fortune smacks of public opinion extortion.

Just as the lawyers began to run dry with new cases from the oil spill, the Gov. recalls 380 Billion Eggs. “Tummy hurt? Join Our Class Action Suit.”

The defense attorney wanted the plaintiff to settle down!

The Muslims and their supporters are being very unchristian-like in their condemnation of people who are sensitive about building a mosque next to the Twin tower burial ground.

Did you hear about the former electrician turned baseball player who is now putting fear into the hearts of pitchers because he can socket?

With emails and tweets becoming so common, are the words “letter”, “note” or “memo” becoming obsolete. Are all emails just emails or are some letters, some notes and some memos? Or are Tweets memos or notes and emails letters. I don’t need any more information.

Do you think Tweets will ever replace Shakespeare’s Sonnets? Nah!

As far as I’m concerned, a good old fashioned pitchfork is still one of the handiest tools in the shed.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 90: It was a cozy little gathering in Henry’s cramped office. Maybe the town could afford a little more for our valiant protector. I smiled to myself. I loved that man. “Ok,” I heard his gruff voice breaking into my reverie, “let’s get this thing going.” I looked around the table and saw Paul and Sally snap to attention. “You wouldn’t believe the amount of information falling into our collective laps. The good news is that the FBI, State Police and other assorted law groups trust me, so I’m in charge of working with you.”
“So, Henry, where are we,” I heard Paul ask.
“First, the state police don’t really believe that Bromsky killed himself. And just that fact, or at least observation, alone points towards a potential widespread conspiracy. Add to that your,” he looked at me, “near brush with death in an accident which you told us was definitely caused by another driver. There’s just too much going on.”
I butted in. “I remember Kent told me once that scientists say there are no coincidences!”
“Let’s talk about Middleton for a minute. He was very helpful with our little vandalism thing. And we know now that it was just a mask for the bigger event of taking teens for testing…to put it mildly.” He looked at me. “But while Middleton was…” I wish he would call him Kent I thought…”quite helpful and insightful, he actually had the most to gain from everything. And motive is motive no matter who it is.”
I started feel bad for Kent. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I looked at Paul and he smiled lovingly at me.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--The Switch looks like yet another in a long tedious series of Jennifer Anniston romantic comedy vehicles. Wait a minute. isn’t that what we all want…simple happy romance. Well, this one is a little weird. The Switch is about denoted sperm. Jennifer announces she is having a baby, but as a modern woman, she doesn’t need a man. But, she needs sperm (How dumb this sound?) Basically, a ”Good Friend” wannabee boyfriend (Jason Bateman) switches his sperm with the sperm of her choice. Six years later, Jennifer and boy return from Minn to NYC and she learns about daddy. What a crazy world we live in.
--The lottery is about a poor guy from the project’s winning $370 million. Obviously changing his living and encouraging the emergence of hangers-on, criminals and more family and friends than he ever knew existed. It is above all a comedy. But has moments of real emotion as he and his best friend see what is happening around them. However the majority of the film is slapstick. And probably a little too much for me.
--Nanny McPhee Returns is by far the best of this week’s lot. Emma Thompson wrote it and plays the lead warts and all in this wonderful tale about the magical nanny. The plot is great and the characters are terrific. Adults will enjoy it.

Looking for an eBookReader Department: A techno-person who predicted the demise of the Kindle now feels he may have been premature. He says now…”I like reading on the iPad, especially in bed at night and in other places where the device's back-lighting comes in handy. So far, it hasn't bothered my eyes at all, unlike the indistinct pages of the Kindle. But the Kindle is better outdoors.” He goes on: “I also suspect there may be a place for a dedicated reading device. When I opened the iPad to read a book, I'm confronted with a dizzying array of options, from the latest episode of "Mad Men" to the current action in Asian stock markets. Is this information overload? Too often I find myself distracted by information I don't really need.” Your choice.

Oskar Eustis is the former head of the Trinity Rep in Providence and now leads the NY City’s esteemed Public Theater. In a recent New Yorker story it was revealed that he was raised by a mom and dad who were avowed, unabashed communists. Hmm. I have seen a lot of plays directed by him. Now how I have to think back about how my mind may have been infected. If ideologues or foreign governments want to take over our country and minds of citizens, maybe they should place their moles in the theater or Hollywood instead of Governments. They’d blend right in in.

The Answer:
After simulating 15 Million games the hardest word of all was “Jazz”. The next nine were Buzz, Jazzed, Hajj, Jazzy, Buzzed, Jazzing, Fizz, Fuzz, Buzzing. Depending on some mathematical thing I didn’t understand, depending how many games you played other words jumped up including, Faff, Vex, Fox, Fax, Babes and Mom. Babes? Mom? Anyhow, the key for you is that now you have new ammunition enabling you to beat the children, nieces, nephews and grandchildren at Hangman. Of course Moms will be saddened if they don’t get Mom right a way..

Have a simple Weekend:
I’m not going to try to figure out the rest of the word any more.

Keep it simple.

Today's Tids Issue 2,200
Opening Stuff:

What do you think would happen if a space ship full of aliens landed on earth with the intent of destroying all humans, and the first thing they saw was a little puppy sitting there looking up at them with big brown eyes wagging its tail?

There are some things in this world that will always make your heart flutter and face light up in a great, humongous smile. Of course one is the little puppy with big brown eyes and a wagging tail. And then…of course…there’s the Bride looking beautiful, standing at the front of the church waiting to make that most important stroll. And the parents beaming in the front row. It always gets to me, I’ll tell you.

Good ole’ logic tells me that any sane taxpayer would vote against any candidate endorsed by any public employee’s Union.

I learned two things from the gulf oil spill: First, the Government should never force oil companies to drill at depths a mile below the surface. Second, the companies employ brilliant engineers and possess great technology which will enable them solve/fix any program without demagoguery from government officials.

The Question: Two Parter: 1. Off the top of your head give me five of what you consider the most famous naval ships and I’ll give you mine. 2. Which five states have the highest percentage of DWI highway deaths?

The Headlines:

--Yemen al-Qaida Branch Warns That Israel Action Against Iran Would Provoke Jihadist response Across The Globe.
--Philly Fed Consumer Confidence Index Lowest Since July 2009; Stocks Tumble 1%.
--New Jobless Claims Top 500m000 For First Time In 9 Months.
--Last Combat Brigade Leaves Iraq.
--Flood Aid Now Pouring Into Pakistan.
--New, Junior Senators Want To Change The Way the Senate Works; Younger Group Fed Up With What They See.


Back to More Stuff:
I’ve always been a big advocate of not paying for something that is readily available free. Like mowing your own where you can save twice by not hiring a lawn service and by not having to pay for exercise at a gym. And then of course there is water which comes out of taps and doesn’t have to be in plastic bottles that eventually mar the country side. Books are free at Libraries (Remember them?). Also free is basic software, cell phones with contracts, credit cards, tax preparation, DVD Rentals, checking accounts, shipping, News (Though I will balk here and buy a newspaper), Pets at pounds, and lots of personal financial assistance like credit reports or budgeting plans.

There is something that intrinsically bothers me about the idea of press releases from the CIA. And the idea that the press needs to know.

In the Dungy against Ryan flap, the press has to associate Dungy’s criticism with the phrase “He is a Christian”. Did it ever occur to these mindless observers that it may be better if people in society knew more than one universal adjective? And, Dungy sees this. Which brings me to HBO, a company that seems to think their TV fare is better because they can use the “F” word liberally. Like that some how that makes their stuff more authentic. Personally I think it’s sad. Like littering minds with trash. Who’s going to pick it up?

BTW, if you’re keeping score, Ryan’s mom called to wash out his mouth with soap. Rex said “Sorry Mom”. Maybe he should also add…thanks for your concern Tony.

Obama’s Foreclosure Act might be a decent idea if the Government was not involved in any way.

One of the disturbing aspects of this foreclosure problem is the use of Government approved services like Safeguard Properties who are employed to winterized abandoned properties. Many home owners and new buyers find that not only are they irresponsible (And inept) in the way they treat the homes, but that often fixtures and other personal property is found missing. A local real Estate company selecting a local plumber, engineering service would be safer and much…much faster.

Sometimes the dumbest joke makes me smile for a while…like this morning when cartoonist Wiley said “Before the wall there was China’s Great Velvet Rope”.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 89. –“Kent, maybe we should just go somewhere. Get lost. together.” Laura looked over at me. She seemed so soft. So vulnerable. I was looking at her differently all of a sudden, which was a bad idea since I was driving. A bad idea because we were not part of an idle incident we could walk away from. The human test body was good idea that is now approaching disaster because there are way too many people involved. Sarah would never have brought so many people on board. I looked again at Laura.
“Stay calm Laura. You are now free. But, you have to stay out of sight. I’ll get you a place in Keene New Hampshire. You’ll like it there and it is easy for me to get up there”. I didn’t expect I’ll be going that way much, but she needs to believe I care. My cell rang.
It was Izzy. As I picked it up I heard Laura mumbling, “you need a cooler ring tone.”
“Hi Iz…what…”
“Come in to see me now.”
“That’s it? Iz. No Hi Kent, hello Dr. Middleton.” Jeez, she could be annoying with her regal impression of herself. Like she thinks it was her ancestor who gave her jewels to finance Columbus. “I’m busy right now.” I didn’t show any more emotion.
“Ok. Get here as soon as you can. It’s Important.”
Laura looked over at me and actually smiled. “Maybe you would like to come to Keene with me!”
We both laughed. That’s odd.

Did you read where there is a bed bug infestation at theaters and other locations around Time’s Square the Big Apple? You thought it might have been fruit flies!

Memo to college freshman who have never seen a phone with a cord: Between 1941-45 the biggest industry in Newport RI employing 12,000 was the torpedo factory on Goat Island. With surrounding areas chock full of Victory Gardens. And air raid sirens going off on a regular nightly basis. Sometimes you can’t have everything you want.

Mexico Prez Calderone Loves to complain about American citizens while his own are living in severe fright or reeking terror through the streets and alleys of small villages and large cities. Last night police found the body of Edelmiro Cavazos, Mayor of Mexico’s 3rd largest and quite quaint tourist city Santiago. He was blatantly abducted from his own home by four SUV loads of drug Cartel killers. Maybe he should start emulating American’s concern for law and order.

What do you think a band of illegal aliens would say as crossed the border and saw a little puppy sitting there looking up at them with big brown eyes, wagging its tail? Dinner!. Sorry folks, it was in there.

The Answer: My list includes Providence (J.P. Jones), Constitution (Old Ironsides), Monitor & Merrimack (Break through Technology, USS Arizona (The Beginning), USS Missouri (And…The End) and USS Nautilus (First Nuke).[ A historian names the ten most historically significant ships of all times – Victoria (Magellan), Lusitania, Mayflower, Nina, Titanic, USS Arizona, USS Constituion, Noah’s Ark (!), Bismark and Yamato (The defeat of which for some marked the beginning of the end of WWII). 2. The highest DWI States are North Dakota (46%), Wyoming (42), Montana (40), Hawaii (39) and Rhode Island (38).

The Hope:
I sit here hoping that some day everybody will wake up and learn to understand the value of money again. Maybe it could start with a couple of “No’s” at the Wal-mart toy department or Apple iPod store.

Word Play is Punderful.

Today's Tids Issue 2,199
Opening Stuff:

Tis sad to know that some people have never seen the magnificence of dawn.

Many a day I feel like Charlie Brown. Dreaming of things that will never be. Trusting without hesitation. And thinking that a simplified life is a wonderful thing. Fortunately I know no Lucy’s.

Business is having it tough in this uncertain economy. But John Deere has always used sound business policies to keep a steady course even in the roughest times. In fact to keep consumers happy they will stand behind every product…except one. The manure spreader!

The Question:
What is paronomasia? There three ways to practice the art of Paronomasia. What are they?

The Headlines:
--Poll Numbers: 0-Man Dips To Lowest Numbers On Handling Economy At 41% Down From 44% Last Month; 81% Say Economy Poor Up From 72%; But, 75% Agree Unrealistic To Turn Around In 18 Months.
--11/12 Jurors Ready To Convict Blago Of Political Corruption Crime Spree; Mistrial Declared On All Major Counts; Convicted On One Of 24 Counts.
--Five Most Stressful Cities: Las Vegas (Duh), LA, Houston, Tampa, Riverside Cal.
--Barney Frank Wants Fannie And Freddie Abolished.
--Seattle’s Traffic Court “Judge Judy” Suspended Because Of Excessive Insults.
--Found So-Called Terrorist Interrogation Tapes Much Ado About Nothing.
--Despite Growing Concerns About Health Of Economy Markets Edging Up To Achieve Technical Levels.

Back to More Stuff:
An interesting effect of the economy on Dem and Obama popularity and chances for re-election is that of the huge block of Obama student supporters. The wide eyed and idealistic of college days are now in the real world and feel a new, different kind of sense of urgency. He’s going to have to find a he number of illegal aliens to make up for the lost of students.

The Dems and 0 may also have added to their woes with the support of the mosque thing. Most Americans who oppose it (63% of New Yorkers in a new poll today) aren’t disputing that they may have a right under the constitution. They are concerned an=bout the sensitivity of a religion that would mock sacred ground. And to many it looks like Cuomo, Obama and Bloomberg just don’t get it. You saw how fast Harry Reid ran away from it.

Has anyone every coined a better phrase to describe today’s 24 hour news assaults than Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing”?

An abundance of Government money will generally tend to incubate incurablefraud.

One of the basic rules of clear writing is avoiding the overuse of adverbs. One well chosen verb will always describe the action better. And while we are on the rules of grammar, remember that a double negative is a no-no.

The Tids has been a supporter of a better understanding of puns. This simple yet controversial form of word play and humor has been discussed for centuries. Oscar Levant said: “A pun is the lowest form of humor…when you don’t think of it first.” Ambrose Bierce said: “A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire.” But Poe probably got it right: “Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.”

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 89. –“Listen, Kent, I work for you so you can do whatever you want to do. But, I have to tell you that your boss is on the warpath and it is worrying me.”
Over the year or so since we hired the security firm, I listened patiently to the ego rants of Cotter, but now he was fast becoming my most important ally. And a good guy to have on my side. “I’ll try to get Izzy under control again. But, just do what I say and it will work out just fine.” I had called him to ask that he tell the guard out front that he was closing down the operation and that I was taking Laura. He agreed immediately and quickly saw my reasoning of not telling Isabelle. He was sleazy but he knew how to ally himself. And he taking care of himself was good for me. “Thanks Jason.”
I was about to press the off button when I heard him again, “Kent, I have to warn you about your friend Durham. She is your friend?” I nodded at he phone. He continued. “Isabelle is making noise about permanently getting rid of Sarah Durham. I don’t like it.”
I looked at the phone. Like it was my enemy. “I’ll take care of it. Thanks.” Then I spoke again. Keep me posted about anything to do with Mag…Sarah. Are you still watching her?”
“She spotted us, so my guy turned in the old car and rented a Volvo which seems to fit in better with the neighborhood.”
I hung up. I went into the room where Laura was still sitting staring angrily at the wall. Her head turned. Her eyes seemed blank. “Let’s go.” Her face transformed with a smile that I would never associate with Laura..

Newt Gingrich is becoming a waffler just like all of the rest of them.

It must be something that happens to politicians. The power? Probably. In business it’s called the Peter Principle. In politics it’s the petering out of principles. Did you know that scientists have discovered a parasite that resides in brains of animals and prehistoric remains. And they believe it may still be at work in the brains of humans. Hell, all you have to do is look at Washington DC. You don't need another taxpayer supported grant for that.

The Picasso Exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art In NYC has drawn 700,000 people since the April opening. The lowest attendance baseball team, Cleveland has had just over a million for the same time period. I wonder if you can get a hot dog and a beer at the museum?

It’s not at all surprising to learn that there is a rise in hearing loss among teens. New info has one in twenty with a loss of hearing at some level. Maybe they measured the kids while they had an iPod stuck in their ears.

The Answer:
Paronomasia is the act or practice of “Punning”. There are three kinds of puns: 1. Homographic (Antanaclasis) – Multiple meaning from a single spelling –Eat a pickle; In a pickle. 2. Homophonic (Polyptoton) –Sound alike words with different spelling – Idle and idol. 3. Double Sound – Substituting sounds as in “Knock-Knock” jokes -- “Orange who; Orange you going to open the door. And then there are the different classes of Puns. “Daffynicians – Pasteurize: Too far to see.; “Tom Swifties” – You’re a real zero, Tom said naughtily; “Spoonerisms” – Three cheers for our queer old dean Victoria.; “Signs of the times” – Sign on divorce lawyer’s wall: Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back.; “Definitions” – Egoist: One who is me deep in conversation.; “Palindromes” (Sentence that eads the same both ways) – Madam, I’m Adam.; “On the job” – I used to be a ballet dancer but found it too-too difficult.

As the carpenter said to me…”Bored yet?”

Tis is what Amerfica is; love it or leave.

Today's Tids Issue 2,198

Opening Stuff:

How come some leaders in this country don’t seem to feel it is necessary for people from other countries to respect our heritage and culture.

Some social engineering experts have determined that a good way to get more fathers back into the homes of poorer families is to reduce the mandatory sentencing guidelines for crack cocaine users. Yup, that will be good for families.

The Question:
Robert de Niro is 67 today. Name his five best movies.

The Headlines:

--Baghdad Suicide Bomb Kills 61 Army Recruits.
--Mortgage Fraud Grows; Government Pot Of Money Draws Sleazy from Under Rocks; Suspicious Activity Reports Up To 67,000 versus 22,000 In 2005.
--GM Recalls 250,000 Vehicles For Bad Seat Belts.
--More Primaries Today As Electioneering Gets Serious.
--Wall Street Reacts Positively After Wal-Mart And Home Depot Come In With Good Profit Reports; W-M Says Consumers Are Wary And Same Store Sales Still Sucking For 5th Straight Quarter.

Back to More Stuff:
Kids going to college this fall have never used phones with cords, have never known Russia as an enemy of the US, can’t understand the ruckus about Beavis and Butt-head ho they consider tame when compared to today’s offerings, think email is too slow and see no reason why anyone would be upset with bad spelling in testing. In other words there is a good chance that society will dip even lower than it is today. I would like to add that they seem to have no sense of the value of money. Which means they will probably keep on voting for 0-Man and Democrats. (Info from Beloit U. study.

Harry Reid’s polls must really look bad. The confusing leader of the senate went against the leader in the white house and came out against the mosque at the 911 site. Would you believe anything Harry said?

I’m getting tired of Rex Ryan. But media saturation has a way of creating extreme boredom. The real problem is that the overexposed celebs begin to think of themselves as something special and they themselves become trite.

BTW, there is a new football program on TV somewhere called Hard Knocks starring Rex Ryan and the dreaded J-E-T-S. I will never watch it not even out of curiosity cause I have just never loved the Jets starting with their over publicized QG Namath. And, guess who else doesn’t like this TV program. Tony Dungee. And he doesn’t like because of excessive dwelling on the “F”-word. He said (Much to the amazement of some so-called football experts) that he would never hire Ryan because of it. He says there are plenty of civilized coaches out there as good as or better than the latest media darling. Good for Tony.

I have always been dull. But now I think I’m becoming dull and rigid. This is not a good combination.

Latest Bumper stickers Department:
“Change it Back”. “Fight Socialism; Buy a Ford.” “Obama Adds A new Chapter to American History. Chapter 13.” “Political Dissent is not Racism.”

The Answer:
Some might say his best two were Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. The top five would certainly include Casino and Goodfellas. We can also select from Cape fear, Deer Hunter, The Godfather Part II, The Untouchables, New York, New York, heat and Bang the Drum Slowly. But my personal favorite was one he did with Meryl Streep – “Falling in Love.’ One of those lost in the publicity morass.

If you wnat to come to America and eventually become a legal US Citizen, this is the way we are. Love it or stay home.

America lives.

Today's Tids Issue 2,197
Opening Stuff:

Yesterday while driving down Succotash Road towards Snug Harbor I realized that the America we love still exists and is going strong in the neighborhoods, towns and villages of the country. The America of the Politicians does not in anyway reflect the heart and soul of most loving and hard working folk. At the fork in the road where you turn down to Snug was a dazzling display of yellow ribbon, flags and hand printed sings – Welcome home Jake! And for the next mile, on every mail box, every stone wall, every picket fence, every tree, every telephone pole were similar displays of pride and thanks for a local hero – Jacob. And near the end where the right turn goes down the small hill past the gray shingled fire station to “Jakes” home was a picture of Jake – Proudly wearing his army uniform and smiling.”We miss you Jacob.” “Thanks Jake!” Turn off the news. Look around you.

And then there’s this side of America. Dear Abby was probably a little perplexed when she received these letters: “What can I do about all of the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?”; “I have a man I can’t trust. He cheats so much, I’m not sure the baby I’m carrying his…”; “I’m married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.” Bada bing!

Handyman’s Motto: When in doubt…a swift boot bails you out.

In the Tids continuing battle to bring you the best in word play humor the Editor this morning steals from Brookins and Cassatt who describe the job of grocery and department store greeters as “Howdy Duty”.

The Question: Something is happening this August 2010 that only happens every 823 years. Bonus Q: From humble beginnings 85 years ago this week, the wonderful Grand Ole’ Opry has grown into a genuine American icon. Name five Opry legends. What was the name of the original permanent home?

The Headlines:

--Street Analysts See Sluggish Markets For Next Few Weeks; Months?
--China Diversifying Bond Purchases Away From US In To Europe And Japan; Largest Holder Of US Debt Sees USA Faltering.
--Petraeus Says Time And Money Keys To Success IN Afghan War.
--Millions In Pakistan Crying Out For Aid.
--Off Road Racing Accident In Mojave Kills 8, Injures 12.
--Young German Player Martin Kaymer Wins Exciting PGA; Penalty For “Mystery Trap” Costrs Johnson Share Of Lead. And Playoff Chance.
--Day Tripping Obama’s Hit Gulf Beaches For Presidential Splash.

Back to More Stuff:

Often stupid jokes jump up and grab you by the punny bone.

Things that happen when there are too many government workers Department:
A friend of mine was selling his mother-in-law’s home, but first had to go threw extensive hoops to get rid of an underground oil tank. Which he did responsibly. Six months or so later he received a call from the contractor saying he would send over a Federal document which my friend must sign. The document never arrived, but the contractor called again to tell him again. And then he learned why the document never arrived for signature. It was 350 pages long and the contractor wasn’t going to pay that kind of postage. 350 pages… for what? To keep an excessive number of government people working? Probably. To give lawyers more business? Probably. God what a wasteful country we are becoming.

And it is only going to get worse as 0-man signs bill after bill, regulation after regulation, executive order after exceptive order that basically do what? Give private sector employees incentives to lay off more employees. Check out the following Investor’s Business Daily’s piece on the Admin’s Union building, job killing activity – “10 Job Killers”: http://license.icopyright.net/user/viewFreeUse.act?fuid=OTUzNjEyMw==

Did you hear about the boxer who walked into the bench in the locker room? He took it on the shin! Ouch!

The Zsa-Zsa “Re-hospitalization” news barrage is becoming as Ho-Hum as that of a certain NFL QB’s retirement plans. And, it’s too bad because Zsa-Zsa’s is serious.

The Pakistan floods are severely affecting the lives of 14,000,000 people. But because a mere 1,400 have died the media is less interested than other catastrophes where people need funds and aid. Maybe we have to send Brad Pitt and Al Sharpton there to get attention. Human compassion is in danger of becoming a media inspired promotional event..

We hear a lot about freedom of this and freedom of that. But we rarely hear about the accompanying responsibilities that go along with all freedoms. And that goes for religions, gun carriers and the press. Especially the press.

Which brings me to the irresponsible Internet press and in particular the WikiLeaks character Julias Assange. The Wiki site says it’s existence is for the primary purpose of providing whistleblowers with a protected global outlet. Which may or may not be a good idea depending on the amount of sour grapes digested by the various tattletales. The elusive Assange says he is being responsible with the leaking of US military secrets because he spending time redacting “personnel” information. But, the fact remains that he is provided assistance and comfort to an enemy who would love to know the strengths, weaknesses and plans of the US defense department. And, my guess is that he is jeopardizing the potential safety of millions primarily because he is anti-war. And that is irresponsible.

Through the Same Eyes: Chapter 88. –After another moment or two, Paul and I came back to the real world. “I’ll drive your car. You go with Henry. He ran off and within seconds I heard my engine roar to life. I was barely seated when Henry put the cruiser in reverse.
I slammed the door as Henry jerked back and then forward out the doorway. “God, Henry!...what’s going on here.”
“A lot, he answered quickly. A lot. But the real problem is sorting through the characters. Which good guys are bad an which bad guys are good. First…since you and I last talked the staties called and are looking again into the Bromsky suicide. Since the FBI is already on the scene because of the FDA ramifications of the research scam, they are now looking into Bromsky along with our state police. So, all of a sudden I have a huge department at my finger tips!” He smiled like he does and looked at me. “I may have to disband my citizens detective bureau.”
“Right Henry. Like I’m going to walk away from this now.” As nervous as I was just five minutes ago, I was now eager and excited to get involved. Maybe it was because Paul gave me the strength. Then Henry said it.
“I haven’t figured out Kent Middleton yet. He’s a hard guy to read. “ Tell me about it Henry, I thought. “I think it is good for you to maintain your friendship with him. You nervous about that, Sarah?”
Was I nervous about seeing Kent? I am, I thought. But not scared nervous. I’m nervous about what I might find. I thought of that bra hanging on the back of his bathroom door. I’m nervous too about never seeing him again. How strong am I really? “Nope Henry. I’m ok with that.”

Did you see where the kid step-brother who held the bridal gown train for Jackie as she walked down the aisle to meet JFK was just arrested in Oregon on child pornography charges? Ah Camelot!

The Answer:
You are going to wake up to an August Sunday, Monday and Tuesday…five times!! Bonus Q: In the first permanent home Ryman Auditorium smiling fans cheered legends Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Roy Acuff, The Carter family, Bill Munroe, Ernest Tubb, Kitty Wells and Minnie Pearl! The Opry got goin’ when they hired first program director George D. “Judge” Hay and first announcer Dr. Humphry Bate. The first national radio program kicked off 11/28/1925 with 77 year old fiddler Uncle Jimmy Thompson. Of course modernists talk about Dolly, Carrie, Garth, Reba and Alan (Jackson), but should never forget the original radio regulars The Fruit Jar Drinkers, The Crook Brothers, The Binkley Brothers’ Dixie Clodhoppers, Uncle Dave Macon, Sid Harkreader, Deford Bailey, Fiddlin’ Arthur Smith and the Gully Jumpers. Feel like you missed something in life? I do.

The End:
And finally from the Perplexed Dear Abby Department: “I am a 23 year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boy friend should share half the cost…but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him!”

Barrack Obama: Tourism Director. Staycations and day tripping are easy when you have Air Force One.

Hollywood consistently tries to edge higher and higher across the lines of good taste and common decency. And ofet they do it Under the guise of comedy. Their latest effort shows up in the soon to be released sequel to Meet the Parents known as “The Little Fockers”. In it DeNiro is called the “Godfocker”. And once again Americans will be enabled to sink lower into the uncivilized abyss.

If I ran the PGA and associated networks I’d stop worrying about Woods and start creating some romance around all of the dynamic young turks.

Doin' What Comes Natur'lly.

Today's Tids Issue 2,196
Opening Stuff:

Nervous? On edge? Did you waken under a cloud of doom? Forget about Friday the 13th. It’s just a day. Actually it’s a good thing as it provides me with an easy opening for Today’s mess. Anything that makes my life easier is a good thing. Let’s look at it this way. The Stock Market will probably rebound this morning. Obama may do something stupid which will enhance the opportunity to replace Congress. We in New England are reveling over a pretty good pre-season kick-off for the Pats. Hey, the sun came up, the morning was cool and refreshing and as I walked over to pick up my paper I met a couple of good friends sipping their coffee in the park while walking the dog. And they were loving Friday the 13th morning…just like me.

Ground Zero mosque supporters seem to enjoy calling the 68% of Americans against it (27% for it) intolerant bigots. Jeez, how loving are these upholders of Freedom of Religion…who would probably be first in line to rip the Ten Commandments off the wall of a Court House. But I digress. After looking at pronouncements by Islamic leaders for the last ten or so years, it is fairly apparent that this is a religion that is most intolerant of any on this earth. For one thing, a feeling, loving religion would at least be sensitive to the hurt of the tens of thousands whose lives were destroyed in that hole around the corner.

Stat of the Week Department:
Illegal Aliens now make up 4% of the US population. Illegal Aliens account fro 8% of births in America. Do the math.

The Question:
The great American legend and sharpshooter Annie Oakley was born exactly 150 years ago today. She was made even more famous in a wonderful Broadway Musical and subsequent movie “Annie Get Your Gun”. Name five songs from AGYG.

The Headlines:

--Markets Cautious Before Opening Awaiting Before On Consumer Confidence.
--Germany Growth Pushes Eurozone GDP Rise.
--US Nabs al-Qaida Linked Taliban In Pakistan.
--Russia Plans To Load Fuel Into Iran’s First Nuclear Plant Next Week.
--Explorers/Scientists Pull Wooden Crate Of 100 Year Old Scotch From Arctic Ice.
--Cal Judge Keeps Prop 8 Gay Marriage Ban In Place For Six days Until Appeals Are Exhausted.
--Petraeus Hedges On July 2011 Afghan Pullback Goal.
--Pats Beat Saints 27-14.

Back to More Stuff:

A reader has two words for all of the readers who picked gin or vodka over chocolate – Chocolate Martini.

I may have jumped to conclusions after reading sensationalized headlines with respect to the “Flight Attendant” Jet Blue incident and pulled an Obama. It appears that today many  passengers are coming out against the “nation’s latest folk hero”; calling him outrageous and the obvious instigator of the uproar. But, that doesn’t change my mind about some of the rude selfish slobs masquerading as responsible citizens on airplanes. I still feel for the 99.99% of the attendants who quietly put up with irrational demands and behavior.

The Dalai Lama walked up to the hot dog vendor and said “Make me one with everything.”

Anything that smacks of alternative energy is so titillating to many that they forget about common sense and reason. For instance, the Pols in RI jumped aboard deep water windmill farms that would destroy the horizon of RI waters…and produce energy at a cost of 24.4 cents/KWH versus the current 9.5 cents. (And a promise to increase the wind power costs by 3.5 cents each year thereafter.) Lunacy. But, that seems to be the national trend these days.

I have it on expert authority that the best coffee across this great country of ours is Ocean State Roaster’s coffee as served at Jonathon’s Café in Newport RI.

Through the same eyes: Chapter 88: --It was only about ten minutes later when I heard a car slowly coming up the Whitaker’s gravel driveway. My heart leapt. I couldn’t freeze, not now. I darted across thee perfect lawn into a small but thick wooded area to the right of the yard. Within seconds of turning around, I saw Henry’s police car pull into the large turnaround area in front of the garage. Before I could shout, the front passenger side door popped open and Paul jumped out. He looked panicked. His head darted from my parked car to the yard and back woods. And then to Henry, “Where…” Before he finished I jumped and ran towards him.
“Paul, I’m here. I’m ok.” His head turned towards me and I saw an amazing look of loving relief cross his face. Some deep inside of me forced a stream of tears to flow down my cheeks as I now ran even faster towards him. And the huge arms enveloped my body. I never felt so safe. So loved. I just stood there. Molded to his body and strength.
“Sarah”. He didn’t say anything more. Because he was now crying too. Neither of us moved.
My head turned a little and I saw Henry standing there looking at our love. There was a beautiful, fatherly smile on his face. I knew he wanted to move us on. But, I think he sensed something important going on between two people. In love?

The US used to be a pretty civil place before magic markers, before protestors learned how to print.

Did you hear about the two antennas who got married? The wedding wasn’t much but the reception was great.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
Mediocrity reigns this week in movie-land with three that could find strong niche followings none of which would include me.
--Eat, Pray, Love is in fact a beautifully filmed, aging gracefully vehicle for Julia Robert’s next career as an older woman. She is a writer touring the world in search of what’s missing in her life in this “Under the Tuscan Sun” wanabee that is much too long and with too thin a plot. Woman will enjoy her journey. RI actor Richard Jenkins is outstanding.
--Scott Pilgrim will captivate teens with a knack for gaming. The film cleverly replicates a comic book delivery with word balloons and other illustrative techniques.
--The Expendables brings us back to muscle bound shoot em’ up action thrillers of the 80’s. In this one Sylvester Stallone is back with rippling biceps and in no holds barred attack mode as he and a bunch of testosterone laden pals bring down a South American drug lord dictator. But, it’s more about tattoos and abs. So much so that one scene of no relevancy brings together Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger. It’s nostalgia trip, pure and simple.
--But! There is one film out there that may be worth seeing. It is an biographical movie about Joan Rivers. Yes that Joan Rivers. The funny lady with the tragic life. It is far from a puff piece as Joan in an act of bravery well beyond anything that may come from Stallone…removes her make-up. And the camera shoots it all. It is a brilliant film that shows vividly the real extraordinarily completive world of entertainment. Check this one out.

The Jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender looked at him and said, “I’ll serve you but don’t start anything.”

The Answer:
This is one of my all time favorite musicals. It’s a pretty good romantic tale, and the music as all hummable. With good lyrics as well. How about “There’s Now Business Like Show Business”, “Anything You Can Do”, “I Got he Sun in the Morning”, “The Girl That I Marry”, “Din What Comes Natur’lly” and “You Can’t Get a Man With a Gun”.

The Big Finale:

“The politics, the ocean, the novel, the puns…The readers who lift you up when you’re down; // The questions, the poetry, the heart strings, the news…The Dems who want to run you out of town. // The morning when your heart beats like a drum…Those closings when everything seems so dumb // There’s no business like Tids business like no business I know; Everything about it is fulfilling, But best are those who tell me Wow! // So here am I, stealing that extra bow!” (Stolen and paraphrased from There’s no business like Show Business.)

Thanks for being out there and occasionally opening up this thing.

Come back America.

Today's Tids Issue 2,195
Opening Stuff:

Frankly, I can understand the reaction of the Jet Blue employee who just got fed up with discourteous passengers and said No Mas! I have, as I’m sure you have too, seen some of these inconsiderate, maniacal people clamoring for overhead space and wildly cramming oversized stuff in the meager shelves. Elbowing people aside, squashing the things of other people who were already secure (They thought) in the storage space. Air travel is the most blatant continuing example of the de-civilization of society.

BTW: Incase you have noticed, Jet Blue flight attendant Steve Slater is America’s latest folk hero. And he will make millions. Guaranteed. And he was right. Maybe he’d like to take on state and local governments next!

Even though several of our readers yesterday in response to the title of the Tids -- “Chocolate or Gin” --overwhelmingly went for Gin (Or vodka), it flew in the face of what’s really going on in the world. A report this morning from a contributing Tids economist and nationally recognized women’s business leader tells me that the Nestle Company is reporting world wide increases in the sales of their yummy products. And a profit increase to $5.2 Billion. Sales are up 11.7% in Asia, Africa and Oceana and 7.5% in the USA. As our contributor says, “When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate.”

Vanity Fair is about to publish a puff piece on the 0-Admin offering many excuses about why things aren’t going well there. The big excuse, released early for publicity purposes, is that the “Job is too big for one man.” That doesn’t seem very supportive.

The Question: Since the Kennedy Family prime time show is just about ready to “Jump the Shark”, I thought I’d give you a quickie quiz on the American publicists favorite dysfunctional family. Name Mom and Dad and all the original kids.

The Headlines:

--Stock Markets Down 60 On Jobless News and Cisco Report.
--First Time Jobless Benefits Claims Rise Again.
--GM Posts $1.33 Billion Q2 Profit; Ready To Go Public And Pay Back Tax Payer (Just in time for November elections.)
--This Just In: GM CEO Whitacre To Step Down In September.
--Cal Judge Vaughn Walker To Rule Today On Whether To Stay Prop 8.
--Kusinich Joins Liberal Attacks On Gibbs.

Back to More Stuff:

Actually, I try to keep chocolate in my golf bag, but by the time I need it, It’s melted. While most people mark their balls with dots, lines or squiggles, I just say mine’s the one with the brown stain.

The big question this morning as the USA PGA Tournament begins its four day competition at the tough and imposing Whispering Straights on the shore of Lake Michigan: Will another affable foreign golfer win yet another Major? Remember the times past when all American players and teams had to do was walk on the field, court or course? And the rest of the world stood in awe.

As bad as it appears in golf it is worse in tennis. After the Williams sisters in women’s tennis, you have to go to #57 to find Melanie Oudin. Rounding out the top 5 are #75 Varvara Lepchenco and #91 Bethanie Mattek-sands. And the men are even a little more discouraging with Andy Roddick the first to show at #11. Next are those household names John Isner (19) followed at 21 by Sam Querrey. Rounding out the top 5 American men are old warhorses Mardy Fish at 33 and Taylor Dent at 81. There must be a whiz kid awaiting down in Florida somewhere.

So, it was nice yesterday after watching 10 year old Jackie Evancho to see that the US kids talent scene is a lot more than a bunch of cookie cutter teen pop songsters. She was so good that it was hard to believe that such a powerful, mature voice was coming out of this child. Wouldn’t it be great for the rest of the world to see that American teens are capable of applauding a talent beyond the cute music promoter’s vehicle of the Month. If you haven’t seen her here’s a place to go: http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/08/11/jackie-evancho-on-americas-got-talent-tiny-angel-with-a-mature-voice/

The “Jobs” bill assures us that the US is rapidly becoming Greece.

When you take the “Free” out of Free Enterprise and replace it with “Government” as in Government Enterprise (Where we appear to be moving at a rapid pace) you get a system that just can’t work. Could this admin be trying to destroy capitalism with spending.

As the Veggie-Burger gang ups the war against lovable old meat eaters it is good to remind our selves that lysteria monocytogenes bacteria risk from Salads is much more prevalent than any bacteria from a good burger with bacon and cheese…and maybe a few crispy French fries on top. Hold your ground and don’t let the veggie vandals get to you.

Did you hear about the marathon runner who won by such a large margin that he had to wait ten minutes for “a rival arrival”!

Seriously…I never buy factory bagged lettuce or factory boxed hamburgers.

The “Jobs” bill has virtually destroyed any chances that we taxpayers had of reforming the out of control budgeting habits of state and local governments.

The Answer: 
Of course everybody remembers dad, Joseph P. Kennedy a lovable womanizer and barely legal businessman with alleged ties to mob bosses through his bootlegging operations;. And of course the saintly Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy who had to close her eyes to the exploits of hubby Joe, And then there were the children. Joseph Jr. who was killed in WWII; President JFK who was essentially responsible for the Kennedy barrage of the senses; The tragically lobotomized Rosemary Kennedy; Kathleen Cavendish Marchioness of Harrington who died in a plane crash in France; Eunice Shriver; Patricia Lawford; The liberal darling Bobby; Jean Smith; And of course the Chappaquiddick Kid. That said, I still believe that JFK was far and away the best President at Press conferences and public occasions. Except for that trumped up birthday party at MSG. So how many of the kids could you remember?

The End:
I f you haven’t noticed by now, this “Jobs” bill thing really, really bothers me. It is a firm kick in the butt to all of those who think that the citizens have something to do with the running this country. I have had it today. Tonight I’ll eat chocolate and tomorrow will be sweeter. Guaranteed.