Is “Fake News” real on April 1?

Today's Tids Issue 3,833

For Foolery:

Well, I’ll be damned, Donald J Trump has done it again. He has said over again that he will unify America, and maybe today we will learn how he expects to do just that. Last night, sources say, he was seen dining with Chuck Schumer in the small office off the Oval, also known as the “Lewinski Lounge”. People with knowledge say the two were then joined for dessert by Nancy Pelosi and the ranking member of the Russia investigation committee, Adam Schiff It is now expected that later today the President of the United States will sit before cameras in the Oval Office and announce that he has decided to become a Democrat. He will add that he could never get along with super conservative elements of the government, and that ever since earlier this week when he looked into the eyes of West Virginia miners with their tough, raw bodies, “I knew I was truly the soul of the working people of America.” Stay tuned. 

As you all know tomorrow is April Fools Day, a day when the Tids would typically have you guessing on what is true or entirely made up. Since we don’t publish tomorrow, today’s issue will hopefully keep you guessing. You have to wonder how the News Media will treat Trump now that he is a Democrat. Will they suddenly discover the innate goodness in his heart?

You have to love that Mayor of Baltimore who told the truth to her constituents, but got nailed for it. She vetoed a bill calling for a 15 cent min wage. She said Baltimore would become a “Doughnut Hole”, with the jobs moving into ring surrounding the city as employers moved there to adhere to the state authorized min wage of 10.1 cents. History has always proven time the myth of socialist ideology cannot meet the test of realty. Kudos to liberal Democrat Mayor Catherine Pugh.

Each new Galaxy 8 comes with a miniature pop-out fire extinguisher. The big Samsung show went over very well, as happy Android lovers gaily danced their way through corridors beyond the hall.

The Question:

Here’s a couple of curious questions for you: 1. Why are buttons for men’s clothes on the right, and on the left for women’s clothes. 2. Why are people who feel great said to be on “Cloud Nine?

The Headlines:

--Markets Lower As Investors Lock In Strong Quarter Gains; Consumer Spending Weaker Than Expected.

--Trump Backs Flynn’s Call For Immunity To Tell Whole Story; Or, Is That Hole Story?; Trump Calls It A Witch Hunt – Says He Will Sic Toto On Evil Dem-ons.

--Elon Musk Says He Can Create Fully Operational Human Workers Out Of Kale; “They would be Healthy,” He Says.

--Putin Admits He Went After Hillary Because She Broke Off Their Affair That Blossomed During Her Reign in State Department; “I Miss Her Doodling Bill Slurs On My Bare Chest,” He Said.

--Space-Ex Makes History With Successful Launching of “Used” Rocket.

--Angelina Joli Says Brad Will Return If She Depuffs Her Lips.

--NCAA Comes Down Hard On North Carolina In Hours Before Final Four; Five Key Players Suspended Due To Inflated Grades Scheme; Carolinians Truly Blue.

There is no truth to the rumor that DJT is requesting a transfer of funding from the Mexican Wall to a similar effort in Alaska. It is his new strategy, designed to keep out illegal Russians with large suitcases of bribe money.; Paul Manafort will be named Project Manager and granted leases for convenience stores at border crossings. Scientists say it can’t be built until global warning sufficiently lowers frost line in 2037. Sarah Palin blasts President – I won that job fair and square in a skeet shooting contest.

The Final Four begins tomorrow for the men. My emotional and curious favorite is Gonzaga. But North Carolina will be quite tough, if they feel like playing for the entire game. South Carolina is the biggest surprise and may have the biggest heart, often what’s needed most in this championship battles. Oregon is no slouch in the heart department, and I should be rooting for the Ducks as our RI team at them all the way until the final seconds. But Oregon should lose to NC and SC’s run will end with Gonzaga, a team of destiny this year. On Monday will talk about the finale. – On Sunday, the Women take to the court. Last year UConn beat Ole’ Miss by 60 points. Do you think the Rebs will be up a bit for the Nutmeggers? UConn is minus the stars from last year’s romp, but seem to be good enough to win again. South Carolina has the women’s team in it too, the first-time same college men and women have been in it together since UConn did it a few years ago. SC’s foe Stanford is on the rise, but both are well coached. Going to be a great one. I’m picking surprise Stanford.

I see where on the day following a report about exuberance over consumer confidence reaching new highs, there comes a report that consumer spending is weaker. Does that mean their confidence is higher because they are saving more money?

Nancy Lala-Pelosi keeps saying the “The Wall” is immoral. Is it immoral to help South Americans avoid breaking laws and the resultant trauma of living with guilt for life by removing temptation for an easy unlawful crossing? As usual, Lala has it wrong.

Seriously, I am troubled by Trump (Yes troubled again) shunting aside the conservative block of Repubs. The last attempt at health renewal looked like a big nothing to me. The TP based block was about really changing the concept of health care. Now it may never be accomplished mainly because once you give out something for free, people assume it is another entitlement. “Hey buddy, the first amendment say you owe me freedom of health” And the beat goes on, but now with the loss of creative opposition. The Prez will offer Dems to contribute to moderate Repubs giving us more of the same.

I hear that the AMA is about to announce a new tiered medical treatment policy designed to lower costs. Real doctors with real degrees will only treat people with serous diseases and complex body injuries. All other illnesses will be analyzed by a computer and treated by those with degrees in bandage application and pill dispensing.  It is expected that some people caught in the middle between trivial and serious will die.

Do you think that the Founders ever thought that The Freedom of Speech amendment would ever cause so much chaos. I guess they thought intelligence went along naturally with freedom of speech.

They certainly never considered that the amendment would result in vocal meanderings like the Tids and Tweets.

Actually, I am very excited about Monday and the opening of baseball season. Unfortunately, we may have snow or iced over ballfields. The inane sports experts on the radio and TV talk about the demise of baseball even after last year’s record season for attendance, TV viewing and profitable income. Basically, they just like to talk and create fake controversies. I am as excited as I ever was. There is nothing better than the crack of the bat and the roar of the crowd, and the game on the radio in the background while you work in the garden. That is a perfect day.

Reading Between the lines Movie Reviews:

--There seems to be a lot of Publicity for Ghost in the Shell, and remake of an old Japanese animated adventure. Scarlett Johansen is somewhat robotic in this film about a woman who after a plane crash is cyber enhanced into a perfect soldier devoted to stopping the worst world criminals, including ISIS. As super criminals develop technology to hack into human’s minds, she is ready to combat them. But then she learns of the big lie, and runs to discover her past. Fair, they say.

--Boss Baby with the voices of Baldwin as baby, Kimmel s Dad and Kudrow as Mom is about how anew born baby rules the household. Could have been funny, but too many jokes area about dirty diapers and poop.

--Zookeepers Wife tells a familiar Holocaust story of a working mother and wife who becomes a hero to Hundreds of Jews in Poland. Taken by surprise with the invasion by Germany and immediately forced to reveal Jews, close friends working in the zoo, she quickly works to establish and underground resistance to save many more. God but not great.

The Answer

 Ok, the first question: Buttons were very expensive and only used by ten rich. Since most people are right handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maids right. In other words, leftie women who now do it them self, could feel discriminated against, actually button up easier. Sometimes discrimination has its advantages. 2. Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain. When on “Cloud Nine”, you are floating well above he cares of the world. BTW, “Love” in tennis comes from the mispronunciation by Americans for the French word for Egg, L’oeuf – which looks like a zero.

For a kinder and gentler America, I hope that tomorrow you are able to abide fools with respect. Even an asshole has its day.

Happy tricks, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y

How can the same thing be different?

Today's Tids Issue 3,832

For Both Sides Now:

If you think about it, Liberals want an America with no restrictions, and Conservatives want it with no regulations.

Well, they have two years now to sort out all of the laws and regulations muddying a clean exit for Britain from the EU. Simultaneously, Merkel issued a strong letter which essentially said that Germany is not going to be terribly cooperative in making it easy on the English. However, they are not reinstituting a V-2 program. So that’s the good news. The real problem seems to be that Britain wants open, regular trade with the EU countries without all of the regulations imposed upon it when a member. Germany and other countries will initially take the stance, if you want to play with us you have to operate under the same restrictions that we have. (Britain is looking like the Uber of the EU.) In other words, both sides are establishing negotiating positions. But, I feel for Britain and all of the other EU countries who thought in the beginning they were just uniting for combined economic strength. But, the globalists saw it as an opportunity to force sovereign nations to succumb to another central government. It really is a mess in many ways, but in two years, most experts see it working again for all, perhaps minus a few more members. Britain brings a lot to the table, and most of EU Knows it.

Actually, Liberals want an America with no conservatives, and Conservatives would prefer a liberal-less world, except for a few actors for entertainment and general all around grousing.

Yesterday ‘s “Q” brought letters about reader’s favorite home grown or homemade foods. Many however were about state favorites, like the Rhode Island Red, but the question was about cities. The big miss by the trusty Tids editors was the entirely delicious and mouthwatering Philly Cheesesteak. Other notables were Cincinnati Chile for hot Dogs, Smith Island (Md) Cake, Colby (WI) Cheese, Anaheim Pepper, Canadice and Lakemont (NY) Grapes, Esopus (IW) Spitzenberg Apple, Roxbury (MA) Russet Apple, Santa fe (NM) Pepper, York (Pa) Apple, Barberton (OH) Chicken, Lebanon (Pa) Bologna and Dungeness (Wa) Crab.

The Question:

A list of the “Top 100 All-Time College Basketball Programs” has just been released. See if you can name 6 of the top 10. Bonus: Who was the original host of jeopardy?

The Headlines:

--US Economy Grew 2.1% In 4^th Q Beating Estimates; Jobless Claims Fall Less Than expected; Stocks Open Higher.

--GE”s Immelt Slams Trump Over Climate Action.

--Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Passes Buffett to Become World’s Second Richest Man.

--Man Mauled To Death By Own Dog During BBC TV Interview.

--China’s Xi To Met Trump In DC On April 6.

--NC Lawmakers Set To repeal Bathroom Bill.

--13 Killed In Texas Church Bus – Pickup Truck Crash.

I am pretty sure of many things in life and one is that I will definitely never pour myself a drink from a $9,000 bottle of Glenmorangie whiskey.

Hey, we do have many US cities with food names like Sandwich Mass, Burnt Corn Ala, PopCorn In, Chicken Alaska, Cookietown Ok, Turkey Texas, Hot Coffee, Miss, Toast NC, Two Egg Fl, Walnut Creek Ca and Roast Meat Hill Ct.

Major Pet Peeve, Department:

An immigrant who is undocumented is undocumented because they didn’t enter the country legally, pure and simple. They aren’t undocumented because they lost their papers while eating at a Taco-Bel in El Paso. One of the biggest illusions in this country is the left’s attempt to categorize people who don’t like lawbreaking immigrants as somehow not liking all immigrants, and then labeling them Xenophobes. It is all pure BS, and for some reason so-called intelligent journalists accept the big lie. One of the problems is that much of left has is too much schooling giving them the mistaken belief that the average citizen can’t keep up with their whizzbang manipulation of terminology. The fact is that real immigrants who waited their turn also have serious problems with people who flaunt the very law which they all honored responsibly.

Some people say gleefully that Trump the deal-maker failed at making a deal with health care. Others are saying that he just rejected one alternative plan for healthcare as being unsatisfactory.

Chipotle is opening stores like crazy (240 last year), but same store sales are falling continually (Down 4.8% Q4; 14.7% Dec). Profits are down (Margins from 19.6% to 13.5%), and the bad will remains (5-10% of former customers will never return). Wall Street has established a new target price of $300, which is down 31%. Personally, I went there once and was underwhelmed, but I am generally not enamored with SW or Mexican food. But, I did attend with several others in my group who actually like that genre of food. Several of them also thought it mediocre. But Tex-Mex eating, or whatever it is, will continue to flourish and there is a possibility that by 2018 the company will have it going again.

On the other hand, paying a lot of money to well-known, popular acclaimed restaurant doesn’t necessarily assure a meal for the ages. Sometimes you just think it is good because of the presentation, or to justify in your mind the significantly lighter wallet. My theory is that there are so many trained chefs around that you can generally find a better than decent meal in broad array of restaurants for low money.

Tip: If you ever find yourself seated before a glass of multi-thousand-dollar whiskey -- sip it very slowly.

McCarthyism is an interesting historic era. One opinion is that the Senator began his assault on communists with the intent of tying Ike and his admin to it all after the moderate President signed some bills that McCarthy thought socialist in nature. It was all part of Joe McCarthy’s plan for himself, putting together the pieces for his run against Ike in 1956. It was all about McCarthy’s political ambitions, and everything else that happened was collateral damage.

I’m actually becoming more paranoid than McCarthy. I don’t answer any phone calls any more. I scrutinize every email. I’m ready for a cave.

The Parking Lot: Chapter 85.

   A week or so after Martha had discovered he robbery, her son John came by to tell her that while visiting his Howland in-laws, he was greeted a little coldly. He told his Mom that he asked questions of his father-in-law, David Howland who reluctantly said that there are rumblings in town about how the Hicks got all of their land, and that the boys are looking to take it out on you mom.

   “I like your mom, John, and frankly I’ve learned a lot about your family since the marriage,” David Howland began. I like you, and think you are good for my daughter. But those three boys have always been a problem, and this time they are getting through to the village people. So, even I am looking at you a little different, because what the boys are saying this time is a lot different than their usual overblown anger.”

   Martha was quiet, looking very serious to John. Her eyes said, keep talking. Her son continued, “David looked at me for a minute. It was just quiet in there, and I began to feel something that could be bad for us. He didn’t talk any more, probably because he could see my discomfort. And I didn’t know what to say.”

   “Finally, he said, ‘I don’t think it would be good if Jane went home with you tonight. I think you and your family have got to talk this thing out. Maybe it’s all false again and your Mom and Grandfather did nothing. But, that’s the way I see it now.’ “ ‘You don’t want that village coming down on you and the farmers.’

   Martha put her hands to her head, and closed her eyes.

The Answer:

Kentucky was named #1. My immediate thought would have been UCLA who came in 4^th.  2 and 3 were North Carolina and Duke. #5 was Kansas where Naismith first coached. Indiana was #6 followed by Louisville, Arizona, Syracuse and Cincinnati. I consider Cuse, Louisville and Arizona as relative newcomers. Cinncy was a power several times during the ages. St’ Johns NY was #27, and their great coach of the 40’s, Frank McGuire, spawned the programs that became the core of the ACC. Bonus: The original host of Jeopardy was Art Fleming. Fleming’s first TV role was as a stunt double for Ralph Bellamy. He was a huge star in TV and appeared in many movies too.

The sun is at my back, but the cold is still nipping at my nose. Kind of nice dichotomy that keeps you thinking.