Today's Tids Issue
3,810
For Puntuation:
(I
have been looking around for the so-called Best Puns of
All time and found so many lists with so much pun stuff, that I’ll just select
a bunch to sprinkle around today’s marvelous Tids.)
Will
the new Apple car have windows?
I’m
really getting tired of this tit for tat schoolyard
politics. For all intelligent people, it should disappear all by itself, but
the media keeps on picking it up as news.
Have
you noticed that the price of coffee and juice
is increasing at a terrifying rate? These are two of my absolute morning essentials.
There are no substitutes. Is this nasty trend based on some nefarious scheme
against Trump, Latin American coffee producers and Florida neighbors.
Last
night I had dreamt that I wrote Lord of the Rings. In the morning,
my wife said I was Tolkien in my sleep.
The
Question:
Name Five popular shows on the H&G channels
Super
Extra Bonus: Who was John Anthony Walker?
The
Headlines:
--Markets Fluttering Waiting For Clarity On Rates
Expected From Yellen Talk This Afternoon; Prospects Of rate Hike Keeping
Markets Lower.
--NBC/Universal Invested $500,000,000 In Snap.
--EU Talking About Making It Tougher For US Citizens
To Get Visas For Travel.
--Interior Secretary Zinke Reverses Obama’s Last
Second Banning Of Lead In Ammunition.
--Docs In Breakthrough reverse Ten’s Sickle Cell
Disease With Innovative Gene Therapy.
--A New Study From The Media Research Center Says
That For The First Month Of The New Admin The 3 Nightly News Network stations were
negative on Trump 88% of the time.
--Illinois State Police Raid Caterpillar Corp
Headquarters. As Part Of Criminal Investigation
--Sessions Recuses Self From Campaign Investigations;
Trump Gives Him Full Support.
CBS
News apparently is loving sensationalizing small negatives
about the Trump admin. Their reporters typically deliver a journalistic report
that is ideologically tipped. But luckily, Pelley always turns to legal expert
Jan Crawford who breaks down the melodramatic reports into reasoned
understanding. Maybe she should be the new Anchor.
I
walked into the zoo and found it only had one animal, a
dog. It was Shitzu.
The
Voice had three shows this week, and one of the better
contestants showed up last night singing the Leighann Rimes country classic “Blue”,
impeccably. Also showing potential last night was multi-genre Brandon Royal and
old fashioned rocker, a cool Julian Martinez. I thought the thirteen-year-old
kid Quizz Swanigan sounded like a thirteen-year-old kid, but he is smart and
with his personality and basic talent, he could grow into a favorite. We didn’t
review any of the Tuesday night performances because none really stood out to
me. They were serviceable, but nothing special.
Have
you ever heard anybody from south of the Rio Grande speak
Latin?
I
almost always type “form” when I mean to type “from”.
Except this morning when in the head title I typed “from” perfectly when I
wanted form. Is that like Murphy’s law.
Never
trust atoms. They make up everything.
With
the success of Snap, we can expect a lot more IPO’s hitting
the market. That’s when the crapshoot begins. That’s when we should start
looking for the top that begets a fall.
Have
you noticed, if you ever have been hooked into those
H&G house redo shows, that the young couple always says they hate “Galley” Kitchens.
They spend thousands knocking out walls, remodeling the kitchen and putting in
a huge island, which essentially turns the new space into....a galley kitchen! Yikes!
My
guess is that the vast majority of Americans are
getting real tired of protests.
Having
sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
I
no longer read any stories that begin with headlines: “GOP
accused of…” And I turn off any news show that brings on Political operatives
from the parties for “Debate”. Talk about nothing there.
The
best way to stop Illegal Immigration is to change the law
to eliminate all automatic social benefits and arrest employers who hire them.
I
had a chance to talk to a very smart and experienced
ex-Navy officer who has seen it all, from all vantage points from the sea to
the depths of intelligence ops. I came away with the impression that our
military is way ahead of the competition and we are incredibly safe, even from
the world’s lunatics.
The
Clintons like to play family bridge together so they can
bid no trump.
The
latest most unlikely couple seems to be Michelle Obama and
George Bush, who seem to genuinely like each other. It’s amazing what can
happen when you take politics off the table; when that White House door closes
behind you on the way.
Feminine
hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humor ever. Period.
I
think that puns are more apropos than ever these days
living in a world that has become ridiculously silly.
The
Parking Lot: Chapter continues…
“I’m not
going run anywhere, especially since it looks like you neutralized Oscar. Release
your grip and let’s talk like people.” Nancy loosened her arm, and Claudia
messaged her neck just like they do in the movies.
“It will
take a lot for me to trust you, Claudia. I don’t think you really know what I
and my friends have been through. But, I came here to talk, and we will. But,
if you had come to me in the first place we may have avoided this entire ugly
tale. McGuire and some of your goons would still be alive. My friends wouldn’t
have been beaten and sacred. So, basically right now I don’t like you.” Nancy
rose and walked around the room. She looked over at Jared who was just sitting
there admiring this woman, again.
“I’m
thirsty. Do you have something cold to drink, A diet coke would be great.”
Claudia stared to speak, but Nancy interrupted: “Jared, check out the fridge.”
It was
obvious that Nancy was enjoying being in control for the first time in a year
it seemed. “Ok, Claud, what’s been going on, and more importantly how out of
control are you?”
Claudia,
was also a cool and measured woman. She was not about to get hysterical. She
sat forward, “I am a Hicks too.”
Pfft!, the
tension was broken immediately. Jared walked in, cracking open two diet Cokes,
gave one to Nancy and offered one to Claudia. “I don’t drink Coke,” shrugged
Claudia.
Another reason
not o trust her thought Nancy, but Claudia had her attention.
“That’s a
good opener, Claudia.”.
“I’m quite
serious. Just like your family, ours goes back to the beginnings of this town.
While there were disputes, it was the two that made Sakonnet a workable, living
place. It is not hard to believe that somewhere along the way a Hicks may have
married a Howland.” She paused. It was her turn to watch Nancy.
Reading
Between The Lines Movie Reviews:
--Hugh Jackman as Logan is a winner! This is the
final for Wolverine, and it takes us for a human look of a super hero in a
thoughtful manner. It’s over and Logan is drinking himself out of existence,
eking out a living as a driver. But his attempt to hide from the world is
altered when a mysterious woman (What else) shows up one day. He is to babysit
an exceptional young girl and bring her to safety. Along the way evil returns
and his claws reappear.
--Before I Fall is a decent teen flick about a young
woman who seems not to get beyond one Friday, when a car accident happened.
Yes, it is like Ground Hog Day, as she wakes up the same Friday over again to
relive the horror.. Before the accident she had the perfect future, the perfect
guy and the perfect friends. But as she revisits each Friday she begins to
question that perfection as she learns more about the secrets of her friends
and family. I think it looks like a decent film.
--I may not see this story about a woman neglected,
who takes off with her daughter and best friend only to find she and her friend
drifting apart during the extended road trip. Years later she tries to mend the
relationship just before her fiends wedding.
The
Answer:
“Fixer Upper” is probably the most popular. Also part
of the regular lie up are, “Love It or List It”, “The Property Brothers”, “Flip
or Flop” and “House Hunters”. Extra
Super Bonus: John Anthony Walker was a naval Chief Warrant Officer who may
have been the most damaging soviet spy in history. He helped the Soviets
decipher over 1 Million Naval Encrypted messages sent by the Navy in their
defensive battle against the Russian navy. The Russians would now be able to
access weapon an sensor data, naval tactics, and submarine surface and airborne
training. It allowed Russian to know the whereabouts of US subs at all times.
Now, that’s serious Russia talking.
eBay
is useless. I tried to look up “Lighters” and all
they had was 13,749 matches.
“Puns
are
the droppings of soaring wits” –Victor Hugo.
“Hanging
is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and
quoted.” Fred Allen.
Have
a pun lovin’ weekend, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y!
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