Food denial.

Today's Tids Issue 4,459

Break out the Orange:

In case you haven’t guessed it over all these years, this daily Tids is all about Honesty in eating; people talking a good health food game, but becoming intolerably anxious as a giant Orange bag of Cheetos goes by. Or the aroma of Kentucky Fried Chicken smothered in rich creamy gravy begins rapid salivation. You know deep in your heart that it is what you want, but society tells you no, you are a loser for holding the audacious desire of seeking contentment. It is why we have so many therapists today, as people deny what they want in order to seem respectable in a new enlightened culture. Yes, Tids is all about allowing people to escape the pressures of an increasingly demanding society. And feel real good about it.

The comedian with the large cache of jokes came fully quipped.

If people can be coerced by threats of imminent death to give up their favorite tasty foods, think about how minds can be changed over something really important, like freedom. First they take your Cheetos and then your mind.

If Robocalls are driving you to insanity, wait until the black hearts of global cyber entrepreneurship start barraging cell phones with Robo texts! As governments and companies clamp down on robocalls, amoral people who want to steal identities or install malware will flood phones with tempting spam. Just another thing to watch out for in this new world of enlightenment.

Somebody already has taken away the Left’s sense of humor. And now they would like to do it to the rest of the world. How can a society possibly exist in a humorless vacuum.

The Question:

Who are considered the top jazz pianists of all time?

The Headlines:

--Market Futures Fluctuating Ahead Of Opening; Yuan Falls To 11 Year Lows As Concerns Over China-US Trade War Rise Anew; China Warns Again About US Escalating Trade Dispute; US Home Sales Rise As Mortgages Relax,

--Jay Inslee Drops Out of Mighty 23; More To Come Shortly.

--President Trump Orders Student Loan Forgiveness For Disabled Veterans.

--Trump Broaches Idea Of Ending Birthright Citizenship.

--Space Satellite Reports 74,155 Amazon Rain Forest Fires As Of Yesterday; Smoke Blanketing Sao Paulo; Peru Also Feeling Effects Of Big Balze.

--Rural Nevada In Emergency Mode As At Least 2,000,000 Are expected to Overwhelm Communities For “Storm Area 51”; Authorities Hustling To Organize.

The All State Insurance company CEO Tom Wilson has a point, a good one. He says the onus is on American business to create jobs with more value so more people can be paid higher wages. He also says that “Some jobs aren’t worth more money per hour.”

Higher minimum wages just prevent companies from paying higher wages to people who produce more for society.

So will the judges on Dancing with the Stars vote off Sean Spicer first because he worked for Trump? Yes that Sean was named as one of the new “Celeb” Dancers for the fall including former Kardashian in-law  Lamar Odem, Bachelorette Hannah Brown, Christie Brinkley, Linebacker tough guy Ray Lewis, Dawson Creek’s James Van Der Beek, Kel Mitchell, Queer Eye’s Karamo Brown, Ally Brooke, Kate Flannery, Lauren Alaina and 75 yo Supremes singer Mary Wilson. Now that’s quite a crowd of barely known celebs surely to draw me in. Not.

While we are n Glitterville, last night, Susan Boyle sang “Dream” beautifully once again and the AGT viewers voted to keep the exciting V.Unbeleivable, Cowell favorite Butler-Figuerova, Light Balance Kids, Robert Finley, Blind Ryan Niemiller and Dunkin save contestant Chris Klafford. The Judges choice was a tie, so they went to the votes and The Ndlovu Youth Choir beat out 13 yo singer Charlotte Summers. Why don’t they just go to the vote first. It is the fairest. And group with a name like Ndlovu should not be allowed to compete. One critic called the Tuesday performance show, “Cringeworthy”. V.Unbelievable is the act I would watch.  

Who woulda ever thunk that not giving up on Cheetos was the essence of surviving in a cacophonious world. Not me. I just like em’

The Answer:

Art Tatum is #1 followed by Oscar Peterson, Earl Hines, Fats Waller, Eldar Djangirov, Phineas Newborn Jr., George Shearing, Teddy Wilson, Johnny Costa and #10 Brad Powell. A couple of my favorites like Dave Brubeck and Errol Garner were #19 and #22 Another I played continually, and who’s records I still have, was Ahmad Jamal at #48. Two other lists have it quite similar with Art Tatum #1 followed by Thelonious Monk, Bill Evans, Herbie Hancock, Oscar Peterson, McCoy Tyner, Bud Powell, Keith Jarrett, Chick Corea and low and behold, Ahmad Jamal at #10. Both list have the exact same ten, with some ranking juggling in the middle 6.

Put on some nice driving jazz and stick to your Cheetos.