Who says?

Today's Tids Issue 4.631

Everything will be alright:

Happy Un-Tax Day!

Like you, I have been watching a lot of people espousing ideas on something they don’t really know much about. And others who do know a lot about the basic general situation not really having enough usable information to be entirely accurate about what they are espousing.

No matter what you name them, most diets era after era are based on the well-known fact that with no carb intake your body eats fat.

I see where the stock markets dropped precipitously this morning on news that Retail Sales and Manufacturing Activity Plunged in March. Let me think about this for a second. Wasn’t it the prospects for what just happened the reason why the markets were decapitated in the first place? Is this called double dripping. The markets a have lost their minds, and that is the real problem. Too many people with too many theories based on something that has never happened in history are getting too much ink and air time. But who am I? Just a lonely Tidster watching the world pass by.

Hey, Trump has cut funding to Who. What? Where will that leave them? Them, who? Exactly.

This could be a time to dust off some of those old Drive-In movie theaters.

Actually, for our kids, social distancing is closer to humans than sitting alone in a dark house playing video games

The Question:

Which well-known US personality will be most affected by the new, stiff, no contact rules for safety? Bonus: As of today, which countries have had the most deaths per million?

The Headlines:

--Markets Open Lower On Possibility Of Bad Earnings Reports; Duh; NY Fed Sees April Factory Index Plunge; Airlines Up After Government Takes Action.

--New Evidence Shows That China Inaction For 6 Days Led To Pandemic.

--Reuters/Ipsos Poll: Trump Poll Numbers On Handling Virus Calamity Are Up 6 Points; But, Biden Beats Trump In Election 45% To 40%.

--Iran Says Real Death Totals There Are Double What Is Reported.

--Trump Reverses Course Saying That Governors Are Decision Makers On Return To Opening Economy.

--Some Health Officials Are Saying That Social Distancing May Have To Remain In Place Until 2022.

Our Las Vegas reporter tells me that casinos are instituting strong mitigation measures. A gambler now only needs to drive up to a full protected casino employee, dump all of his or her money into a satchel and drive away. No touching and the same result.

Well, it looks like our former socialist president has anointed Joe. That should help him with Bernie Bro.

Many experts are saying that the most dangerous thing you can eat right now is fresh vegetables. It all has to do with Who’s picking them. Couple that with the emerging news that several meat plants have shut down due to employee Covid contraction, and you have a possible food shortage. It may be that our only salivation will be a fully automated Cheetos plant.

Who is picking vegetables?

In effort to appease all levels of society, many states are helping yacht builders by waving the sails tax.

A priest, rabbit and a monk walk into a bar. The rabbit says, I think I’m a typo.

The Monk says I’m type AB negative. I was an Abbott.

Now I think I’m really getting old. A lot of the new nostalgia emails are based on what people who were born in the 50’s and 60’s remembers as the good old days. Yikes!

I have learned that those 10,000 steps everybody should take each day is based purely on an arbitrary number basically pulled by a marketing group in South Korea to promote an electronic device. Nobody has ever tested 8,000 or 12,000 steps as being better or worse for health. Or even 3,000 a day for that matter. I see where Samsung reduced their goals from 10K to 6K, probably because more people might try out the device to achieve something less daunting. Healthy living theories come and healthy livings theories go. It just depends on what product some person or company is trying to sell.

The time for submitted puns starting with the letter “N” just expired. It’s now O-pun season.

What?

The Answer:

Who else will lose more than Joe Biden? Gotcha! Bonus: Spain is Number 1 with 386/M. Next is Belgium at 363, then Italy 349, France 234, UK 182, Netherlands 171, Swiss 137 and Sweden 101. Ireland at 83 would be next followed by the USA at 76. # 10 is Iran 57, followed by Portugal, Denmark, Austria and Germany. For the early newsworthy contagions -- China is seen at 2.4 and SK at 4.3. The other lowest are Philippines at 3.1, Indonesia at 1.5 and the very lowest is India at 0.3/M.

Frankly, I’m really not bored at all.

Stay happy. Negativity dooms.