Dreariness.

 

Today's Tids Issue 4,897

Onward to May:

 

The next time you get this mess we’ll be 3 days into May. We will have missed May Day, Kentucky Derby Day and the first gleams of a May sunshine day. So I’m saying Happy May today in the last days of the month that began as a fool, fooled us into thinking that summer was ear. Welcome May, the revival month, where summer enthusiasts seem to taste the warmth to come. It’s filled with special days like those for Moms and those for remembering the heroes gone. Ad we celebrate great thoroughbreds and pagan and labor union festivals on May One. May fifth always brings back one of the great all time puns. But I like may. These trees are all out and the beaches are open, and June is just around the corner. And, I really like June.

 

Charles Schultz said this through his character Franklin: “One you are over the hill; you pick up speed.” Never stop running.

 

The Question:

What are the five greatest puns of all time? Bonus: What is the all-time great Pun for May 5?

 

The Headlines:

--Stocks Bucking Headwinds; Amazon Hits All-Time Earrings High; Twitter Earnings Fall Even As Facebook And Snap Earnings Come in Strong

--45 People Die, 150 Injured In Jewish Festival Stampede Israel; Car Bomb Kills 30 At Afghan Guesthouse.

--Labor Inflation For Restaurants Is Here And Now, And Becoming A Major Problem.

--Despite Fears Of New Taxes And Inflation, Economy Observers Ae Still Bullish About Strength Of Overall Economy.

--Kenya Anti-Vaccine Doctor Dies Of Covid.

--Eurozone Suffering Double Dip Recession As Pandemic Continues.

 

The $15 Min wage bonanza is coming at a time when companies who lived frugally enough to make it through Covid are now faced with finding ways to maintain profitability with these new cost factors. It’s a squeeze. the big panini!

 

This is one of those days where I think and I think and I look and I look and nothing of much value appears on my screen.

 

Basically, what economic Academia is saying about our economy is that it is strong enough to survive Joe Bide policies that could dampen a lesser economy.

 

There will be a point in time when restaurants may price themselves out of existence as uncontrollable costs continue to mount.

 

Are we headed for an Autocracy? Biden mentioned the word in his speech Wednesday. It is defined as, “A system of government by one person with absolute power.” A one-party Congress and the new era of accepting executive orders unquestioned could lead to that. Especially if the Exec orders are full of free money for citizens. The good news is that Joe B Isn’t storing enough to be Autocratic.

Amazon just posted amazing profits for the quarter. Is this one of those Covid windfall stocks to watch as poetically problematic as the need to online diminishes as vaccinations increase?

 

The Answer:

Nobody will agree with these answers. I don’t even think I agree with them:

--“We must all hang together or assuredly we shall all hang separately.” Benjamin Franklin at sign of Declaration Of Independence.

--“Denial is not a river in Egypt. “Mark Twain

--If we arm all the teachers, will the Librarians get silencers?

--The only thing flat-earthers fear, is sphere itself.

--I recently started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof.

--If you can’t see the cheese, it’s pasteurized.

By the way, some of the great puns acknowledged by historians were written by Shakespeare. But I wasn’t smart enough to get them, so I’m leaving them out.

Bonus:

     Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.    This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.     The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.      The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

 

Shoot me!

 

Have great weekend, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y!!

 

 

 

 

 

Pats Grabs Future QB In 6th Round.

 

Today's Tids Issue 4,896

"And at number 16...":

 

There is only one thing that really counts today, I and it’s not the possibility that rain will squash my golf game today. It is all about the NFL draft. Tonight, is it. And tomorrow it will be faraday morning Quarterbacking. Its sports fan mecca. I can hardly wait.

 

Biden didn’t do a bad job of delivering a talk last night, although I only watched a smattering of it, and I heard later that it was snoozeland. But he will appeal to a lot of people, no question. It is what is in the proposition that is disturbing. Pitting classes against classes generally has the opposite effect of unity.

 

Did you notice that our favorite National Plagiarist Laureate lifted a applause idea from George W. Bush in one of his SoS’s: "Madam speaker, madam vice president…" The he paused to say, “No president, no president, has ever said those words from this podium. No president has ever said those words. And It's about time. In 2007 GW Bush produced a standing ovation when he said, “"Tonight, I have a high privilege and distinct honor of my own -- as the first President to begin the State of the Union message with these words: Madam Speaker…" Yes, Joe B has always been great at lifting other people’s words.  

 

The Question:

Remember Michelle Pfeiffer? See how many of her movies you can remember. What were her best ten?

 

The Headlines:

--Alert: Heinz Says Ketchup Shortage iIs Near An End

--QI GDP Hits A Lofty ; Stocks Drift Back From Strong Opening As Investors Take Closer Look At Biden Bill.

--Two Deputies, Two Civilians And Killer Dead In Boone NC Shootout.

--New Oklahoma Law Would Protect Motorists Who Unintentionally Run Over Or Kill Protestors.

--Kamala Harris Tends To Support Tim Scott Later When She Says America Is Not A Racist Country.

--Young Women In Afghanistan Dreading Potential Return Of Taliban,

 

Tim Scott did a wonderful job last night. He put this racism mess in its proper perspective. And the left will continue to smear him because what he was saying would tend to bring America together,

 

That Trump Economy is really coming back strong.

 

I never really understood all of that fuss surrounding the Elian Gonzalez caper.

 

Just in: On the heels of their new determinations about outdoor mask wearing, The CDC says to always wear your safety belts even when outside of the car.

 

I have a problem with these hate crime laws. If somebody murders a beloved grandchild, sister or parent or spouse, it isn’t as big a crime as murdering an “Identity” listed person.

 

You might say that Heinz is ketching-up with te iconic tomato sauce shortage.

 

Stocks built upon the “Gig Worker” labor concept are taking a big hit today after US Labor Secretary Marty Walsh says they should be employees. Uber, DoorDash and Lyft are among the big losers. How much will our economy change the next 4 years?

 

A lot of people love the independence of feeling self-employed as Gig workers, It’s just the unions who are crying for members raising a ruckus.

 

The Answer:

Michele was always good in her films. Number One Best for Michelle was Those Fabulous Baker Boys. Next was Dangerous Liaisons, Hairspray (Not one of my faves), Married to the Mob (Liked it), Scarface, Batman Returns, The Age f Innocence, Frankie and Johnny, Stardust, and at #10 Sweet Liberty. Actually, I liked Russia House, Murder on the Orient Express, What Lies Beneath, and Tequila Sunrise.

 

Pats move up to grab a premiere QB. Oh, wait – this is Belichick, we’re talking about. Bill trades pick #16 for 3^rd round pick where he takes an O Lineman who can play tackle or guard, and kick field goals and catch passes.  I guess we won’t know til 9:58. Stay tuned. It’s NFL Thursday Night!

Socialist debut.

 

Today's Tids Issue 4,895

Don't squash ambition:

 

Well, folks, tonight on national TV before 200 invited members from this joint session of Congress, The Unity Prez will unveil the latest chapter of his Wealth Redistribution Plan. Maybe watching the Oscars actually would be better. Some Repub members are praying they won’t be invited.

 

Today is “National Great Poetry Reading Day”. So, I won’t write one.

 

“Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.”

- Winston Churchill

 

The Question:

Who was Tom Brady’s first wife? And what is she doing today?

 

The Headlines:

--Conference Board Consumer Confidence Index Has Highest Reading Since Feb 2020; Microsoft Disappoints On Revenue, but Exceeds On Earrings; Google Beats; Apple And Facebook Reports This Afternoon.; Investors Looking Forward to Tomorrow’s Release of Q1 GDP.

--President To Speak To Joint Session Of Congress F diminished To 200 Due To Covid.; Expected To Promote Another Nearly $2 Trillion Give-Away Program Paid For By Taxes On Rich And Corporations; Expected To Also Push Gun Legislation.

--India Neighbors Go On High Alert As Covid 19 And New Variants Spread Rapidly In Country.

McConnell Calls Biden’s Forst 100 Days As “Biden Bait And Switch.”

 

The Kentucky Derby is on tap for this Saturday. The celebs fresh off their Red-Carpet glitter can now dress up once again for mint Juleps. For those of you who would rather watch the horses, here are the current odds. The two top choices are i the 14 and15 post positions – 2-1 favorite, Essential Quality and 5-1, Rock Your World. Rock has many fans and the race day odds may be closer. At 6-1 is Known Agenda followed at 8-1 by Rhode Island favorite Hot Rod Charlie, known around eras “Chuck”. At 10-1 we have Highly Motivated. The longshots at 50-1 are Hidden Stash, Sainthood, Keepmeinmind, Brooklyn Strong and Like the King.

 

In another bold move Joe B is pushing or increased inflation as he yesterday ordered the Minimum wage for all Contractors doing business with the Fed to $15, up from $10.95. He also in a separate signing ordered the Fed Employee minimum wage to $15. Remember when people had the opportunity to choose Gov work for security and private enterprise for earning power. The Fed will immediate l hire all of the illegal immigrants thus ridding JB of a major problem, and in doing so populate the Federal government with more than enough employees to take over the entire economy. This is because the private sector won’t be able to remain profitable I this escalating salary world. I can write many inane scenarios because unfortunately they could be considered plausible because the government is involved.

 

Has there ever been so much spending in an American government. And nobody seems to care, because too many have been bought off?

 

On the other hand, the reward for failure merry-go-round kept heads spinning as the four top execs from GameStop walked away with severance packages totaling about $240 Million. Basically, what they did was close over about thousand stores and laid off slews of workers in a failing business. Their whopping severance came about because some retail investors drove the stock price way beyond the value of the company. It is definitely weird in the new world.

 

Yesterday Rhode Island, “The Brother-in-Law State”, had that state motto validated when the list of salaries for employees of the entertainment complex of arenas and concert halls was revealed. In addition to uncles, aunts, cousins, wives and a assorted other relative, it was also packed with close associates of union chiefs. Fill the pot with money, and they will come.

 

Today is also “National Super hero day.” Has anybody seen my cape?

 

Just to show you how much money is out there floating around; the Samsung’s Lee Family will pay more than $10.8 Billion n inheritance taxes. Zowie!

 

Police in Germany were called in yesterday to investigate a suspicious looking bomb-like object. It turned out to be a “Grenade” sex toy. Yikes! Call me lost in my sheltered past.

 

JB will prove tonight that you can be radical and boring at the same time. I guess that’s something.

 

The Answer:

Frankly I always wondered why the GOAT would give up somebody as sprightly and pretty as Bridget Moynahan for a super wealthy glam model. Bridget has been highly successful starring in Bluebloods as Assistant DA Eri Reagan.

 

I think a good goal is to discover something new each day. It doesn’t have to be huge. Sometimes a nice little finding stays with you forever. I guess, after all, that makes it huge.