Today's Tids Issue 5,175
Will it ever end:
I had planned on opening todays mess with an amorphous pleasantry. But then came the madness. Why, in a world that should be coming more civilized over time, do more and more people seem to disregard the value of life. What is contributing to these behaviors that killing others is an acceptable solution to internal pain? God does my heart ache for the tortured minds of today's civilization. But not nearly as much for the victims of those minds. Those young innocents, lives snuffed just as they were beginning to see a future. And the parents left behind. Oh, do I ache for the parents left behind.
Today is National Wine Day, National Bring a Brown Bag Lunch and Sing Out Loud Day. Sounds like a formula for an office party.
What swims and starts with a “T”? Two ducks.
The Question:
Who are considered the funniest stand-up comedians? That is opposed to sitting in the old rocking chair comics.
The Headlines:
--Markets Open in Positive Territory; Stocks Go Choppy After Fed Meeting Minutes Indicate More 50 Point Increases; Traders Looking For Evidence That Fed Activity Is Slowing Inflation.
--Texas School Shooting Deaths At 21, 2 Adults 19 Children; Worst School Shooting Biggest Since Sandy Hook.
--Trump Candidate, Ex Super Football Player Hershal Walker Wins Georgia Repub Primary; Brian Kemp Will Face Dem Star Stacy Abrams After Crushing Trump Man Perdue; Rest Of Trump Ga Picks Do Poorly; Controversial Ga Rep Marjorie Taylor Greene Wins Handily; Bush Scion Loses In Texas AG Race to Ken Paxton.
--44 Women Make Accusations Against Jacksonville Southern Baptist Minister.
Texas Massacre Marshalls Antigun Troops.
I was happy to see Sarah Huckabee Sanders win her Arkansas Primary with 83% of the Vote. She is now Favorite become First Female Gov There. She took a lot of crap in her Press Secretary days, and I just think it is great she will be on top when it is all over. Maybe she will be the first women president too.
How come the media always reports these terrible shootings like some kind of scorecard -- The worst, the scariest, the smallest, the most gruesome? They are all just plain horrible. They don’t need adjectives or rankings.
I saw this sweet, poor old lady fall down the stairs and hurt herself. At least I assume she was poor because I didn’t find more than 3.50 in her wallet.
NCIS fans will be looking forward to more of the Parker/Palmer romance and hopefully at a Gibbs return.
Even many 2nd Amendment defenders are now starting to have 2nd thoughts about the rationale behind owning AK-47 Style weapons.
On a dentist's grave: Filling his last cavity.
Young Repub star Dan Crenshaw pulled out of speaking engagement scheduled for this weekend at an NRA convention. Says he can’t get back from hastily put together Ukraine trip in time. It's too bad when shining lights get mashed up in political maneuvering, whether or not I like them doesn’t matter. It is the fact that they tinge a bit of their integrity, But, I guess that is the talent of all politicians, how to tinge and untinge in one graceful motion. Better I guess to step away from guns after a massacre and hope oyu can come back later.
The Answer:
I suspect George Carlin is today number One because his biography documentary is all over HBO. But he was funny and one of my favorites. After George we have on this list Dave Chappelle, Richard Pryor, Robin Wiulliams, Eddie Murphy, Rodney Dangerfield, Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Steve Martin, and at ten, Don Rickles. Here are the rest of the top 25: Louis CK, Ricky Gervais, Red Foxx, Mitch Hedberg, Norm McDonald, Mel Brooks, Kevin Hart, Bernie Mac, Jim Gaffigan, Jerry Seinfeld, N Bob Newhart, Carol Burnett, Jim Carey, Ron White and at #25, Gabriel Iglesias. Johnny Carson was 26. One of my favorites Steven Wright was 28, and Jeff Foxworthy just ahead of him at 27. George Burns was 33 and Billy Crystal 35. A guy who always had me on the floor laughing was Jonathon Winters at 36. Bob Hope was #43. #50 is another guy who makes me laugh out loud no matter where I am – Bill Engvall. My man Jack Benny was #80. A very creative and funny guy Dennis Miller was 93 (Maybe he is too conservative), but ahead of #98 David Letterman. WC Fields was 117, and Jay Leno was way down at 134. Jay Leno at #134?
From Bill Engvall and his “Here's a Sign” comedy routine:
“One day I locked my keys in my car and as I was standing there with a hanger halfway through the top of my window, a guy walks up and says, Lock yer keys in the car? Without missin' a beat I said, Nope, Just washed it and was hanging it up to dry.”
God bless all the little children sitting in their desks wondering who might walk through that door.
No comments:
Post a Comment