Jingle Bells.

Today's Tids Issue 2,467

Opening Stuff:

Welcome to the Tids Annual big Christmas edition. Rudolph, Santa and all the elves generally show up and regale our readers with tales of getting the goods made and out to you, and....What?...It's not Christmas. But what about all of those decorations up a month and the Santa comercials...and the panhandlers with "Happy Holiday's" signs. I thought we had already passed Thanksgiving...Oh, that was advertised in August? Oh well, I guess that means there really is still time to put Christ back into Christmas. Sorry folks, back to the regular crap.

It looks like Rhode Island's new genuine hero Gina was not too fond of yesterday's remarks by Chafee-Lite, calling the surprising comments political sniping. This is a critical time for Rhody and its effort to pass a pension reform act, and Treasurer Raimondo emphasizes that all parties driving to fix underfunded pension debt must bond together as a unified force in the face of the typical unrelenting Union opposition. If the legislature can bore down and find the guts, the passage of this bill will assure RI as the first state in the USofA to get runaway pension costs under control. Well... sorta under control...for a political entity.

The OWS protesters held a sign yesterday that read "You can't evict an idea." And, what exactly is that ide?. Comon, help me on this one.

The Question:
Who was just named "Sexiest Man Alive" by People mag? Name others who have won.

The Headlines:

--Oil Up; Stocks Down.
--Bullet Found In White House Window; Mentally Deranged Man Suspected.
--Social Network Generated Boycott Of Kardashians Gaining Steam; Petition Signers Tired Of Program's Emphasis On Vanity, Greed, Promiscuity, Vulgarity And Over The Top Conspicuous Consumption.
--Prez Ok's Permanent US Military Installation In Australia; Strategy Designed To Control. Emergence Of China.
--Man Gets $500K In Pirates Gold At Storage Unit Auction.
--FaceBook Fighting Flood Of X-Rated And Violent Spam; Hackers Finding FaceBook Good Way To Pass Around Viruses Through Friends.

Of course, RI isn't the only entity with out-of-control spending. The Feds along with the Kardashians have written the book on over spending. But, that's all about to be resolved in the SuperCommittee. Right! Wrong. The Dems can make lots of political gains by not going along with needed reform of the big entitlements. By not compromising with Repubs, Dems preserve their ability to campaign to the nation that the GOP wants to throw grandma off the cliff and preserve millionaire tax cuts. Oh the Dems will posture, but politics will as usual win the day over honest results. It also behooves the Repubs not to agree thus creating the stalemate that would trigger automatic cuts in Defense and Domestic programs. Horrors -- The Repubs are cutting Deefense. It isn't so bad as these cuts won't be implemented til 2013 and are over a ten year period. Many an admin and congressional change will take place allowing Repubs to put back the defense dollars. Oh yeah, a Dem leader on the committee has said he as seen no sign of his guys being able to coalesce over one idea. No matter how you look at it, the Democrats are in control and will be the winners if nothing is done.

Did you realize that within two years of retiring from the NFL, 78% of the players are bankrupt!

I don't know how many of you heard that weird interview with alleged rapist Sandusky. His strange views of the events and his proclivity towards young boys sound like the talk of a man used to getting his way gullible children. He seems convinced that intelligent adults will submit to his fairy tales. Just as the innocent children he abused did.

Retired men often find that shopping is not high on their list of exciting things to do. One creative geezer found ways to pass the boredom in stores like Target. In fact he was barred from the store for stunts like hiding in clothes racks and saying "Pick me, Pick me", or while handling a rifle in the Hunting Department asking a clerk where the antidepressants were...among other inventive diversions. Thanks to NanaDoll for that report.

Science has a new report that says women who have carried and given birth to twins will on average live longer than women who haven't.

I read where 40,000 or so years ago the Homo Sapians arose and because of their much higher intelligence obliterated the neanderthal population that had reigned for millions of years before. But, not so fast. The same report also says that Neanderthal DNA has also been found in existing populations. Frankly, as I look around I think the neanderthal is making a comeback.

But then, if nothing is done by the SuperCommittee, there still will be Political winners and losers. But what about the people and the nation? Does anybody really care, or is everything still just about the next election. It is expected that if nothing happens by November 23, the credit rating of the US will receive another downgrade. But, some politicians will win. Doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy all over -- happy Politicians.

The Answer:
A bewildered Bradley Cooper questions hhis choice as Hottie of this year. Others have been Jude Law,, Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Matthew McConaughey, and Johnny Depp. I'm checking out plastic surgeons now.

Life is good today, except for all of the "Almost Near" readers.

Steel to cupcakes.

Today's Tids Issue 2,465
Opening Stuff:

I'm declaring the next year starting now as the "Dead Zone". Nothing will happen, beginning with the SuperCommittee. Our fearless leader will spend the time accusing other people of doing nothing while he puts off all major decisions to 2013. Future history books will color this era gray, when it should be fiery red and orange! It should be the era when the future of the nation began to be saved.

Why would Penn State think it a good idea to put in as interim a coach who has been with the program for 25 years. A coach who has probably been friendly with the PS Rapist, and has at least by osmosis seen or sensed it all. He's probably a nice guy, but...

I'm finding that this medicine I take for a bit of a lung problem is getting to be rather expensive. Through exhaustive research, I have determined that Cheetos Dust does pretty much the same thing. I'm in touch with The New England Journal of medicine.

The Question: 
Bernanke keeps on telling us that inflation is not a problem and that he expects to meet his 2% goal. Hmmm. How much will the cost of a Thanksgiving meal go up this year, and which items will go up the most?

The Headlines:

--Euro-Angst Could Depressing Stocks Today.
--New England No-name Defensive Backfield Rises To The Occasion Defeating The J-E-T-S 37-16 Pat's Fans Come Back from the Precipice.
--Italy's New Premiere Rushes To Apply Sound Economics To New Government.
--Police Clear Out Oakland OWS Swamp; Other Cities Taking Action Against City Campers.
--Jordan's King Abdullah Tells Syrians Assad To Step Down.
--Penn State Victims Begin Civil Suit.
--Buffet Says EuroZone Still A Major Worry; Economists Say US Is Years Away From Euro-Style debt Crisis. They Add Though -- Action Must be Taken Now To Preserve Stability In Future.

Whatever happened to P.J.O'Rourke?

A vote among NFL players said that the Coach they dislike most was NYG's Tom Coughlin followed by Tony Sparano and Bill Belichick! Oddly, the three who were ahead of the rest by a wide margin, are all disciples of Bill Parcels.

I see that the Federal Government allowed their employees to leave an hour early on the day before Veterans Day -- A day that is hallowed but rarely taken off in the private sector. I'm thinking that if we gave the 16 Million or so Fed employees an hour off a week with no pay, we could save about $9,984,000,000 a year (Based on average hourly wage of $12.00)! Yikes.

I drove through my home town a couple of days ago. Through my leafy quiet, modest neighborhood where totally pleasant memories abound. A shimmering glint caused me to glance up...and I felt crushed. The rush to build skyscrapers in the downtown is squashing my childhood!

Show me a pile of money and I'll show you thieves gathering like a swarm of flies over a carcass. And there is no larger pile of money than that in the Federal Government.

And how about that Government of ours? The department of Agriculture proposed a 15% fee atop of the cost of Christmas Trees! Zowie...right at the heart. They said it was for a fund to help promote the Christmas tree industry. But, wait a damn minute. The Christmas Tree Association should create its own fund from member growers and not rush to the government like every other gimme group. What ever happened to private enterprise initiative?

Speaking of Christmas and the gimme crowd, I notice a homeless person with a can in his stretched out hand and a sign in the other that read: "Happy Holidays". I told him that if it had read "Merry Christmas", I might have been interested.

Like we have been hinting here for some time now, Newt has risen to the top of leaderboard in the GOP Tournament. Let's face it, he is smart, he can debate and he drives the other side nutty. He was part of the joint effort working with President Clinton (Yes, as speaker "Working With") developing programs that actually reduced the deficit. I can see his slogan now: "I've done it. I can do it again." IDIICDIA!

Almost Near: Chapter 49 continues. --Sparrow looked at Samantha for what seemed to her like five minutes. "Wawl, Mrs., what was your last name?.. Quimper..."
"Quimpierre, Just call me Samantha, it's easier."
Wawl, I've bin thinkin'." He looked at her seriously, but in a kinder way. Ah bin thinkin' that if your commin back here knowin' that we were lookin for you cause of the accident and the injury to that lawyer, than you musta had somethin to tell us. Tell me what you think about that memory loss of yours."
Samantha told her as much as she could remember and it probably sounded very confusing to Detective John Sparrow. "You're frowning, "Samantha said in a humorous town. She laughed to herself a little, "Frankly I ve been frowning a lot lately myself, so I find it kind of amazing that you actually understand that I might know something."
Sparrow just waved for her to continue. But, he was smiling a little now too.
"I think what has been driving me is something I feel about a man named Tucker Lafitte who they say I originally knew as Tommy Lambert.

I like the idea behind the new Catholic mass book. They have said and I felt in the sixties that the words of the Mass went a little too pedestrian; That the the immensity of God was denied in the over-simplification of the words. So, the Bishops are proposing what we should be looking for in the leaders of the our land. Raise the bar. Don't give into the lowest common denominator. Take off your hats in restaurants and church. What's so hard about that?

The Answer: 
This year's feast on the greatest family holiday of them all will be 13% higher at $49.20. (In 1986 the meal costs$28.24.) The foods measured were 16 pound Turkey, gallon of milk, 30oz can Pumpkin mix, 1/2 pint whipped cream, 14oz cubed stuffing, 1 lb green beans, 12 rolls, 3 lbs sweet pots, 12 oz cranberries, 1 lb relish tray, 2 pie shells. Ahem...where's the gravy? The turkey had the highest increase at 22% followed by Pumpkin Pie mix (15.6), Whipped cream (15.2), Green Peas (16.6), Milk (12.9), Stuffing (9.1), and rolls (8.5%). The other items were around 2.2% except for the relish tray which actually went down...proving once again that relish trays look attractive but nobody wants celery and carrots. Oh, maybe Mrs' "0".

If you take the Turkeys out of T-Day dinner we can lower inflation. If we take the Turkeys out of Washington, we can lower the deficit.