Everything starts somewhere.

Today's Tids Issue 2,471

Opening Stuff:

Happy Birthday Providence Rhode island! That's the Providence known for 375 years of creative contributions to society that started on this day in 1636. Providence and the Great rationalist Roger Williams gave the nation the very principles that make our USA the most admired. This is where (Along with John Clarke and the people of sister enlightened sister city -- Newport RI) developed the principles of freedom in religion and speech...and general all around understanding. Providence along with Newport encouraged all races, all religions to migrate to the shores of the beautiful colony by the sea. Providence also set the highest of economic standards rising to the #2 most wealthy city in the land in the early 1900's. The downtown at that turn of the century filled with the leading manufacturing companies and industries in the world. Now today, a most beautiful city that has restored it's past architectural masterpieces and remains vibrant as a center of education and culinary opportunities. Legal, medical and yes...a financial center. And still a place that religiously espouses freedoms for all.

The problem in the US is Spending! Spending! Not declines in revenue.

The Question:
Name five movies made enjoyable by the delightful Goldie Hawn!

The Headlines:

--SuperCommittee Folds; 0-Man Pontificates.
--HP Delivers; Campbell Soup Q1 Boiling; US Market Futures Up.
--Rioting In Egypt Puts US Policy In The Middle.
--MF Global Missing Money Doubles To $1.2 Billion; Corzine Rumored To Be In Legal Trouble.
--Former Maddoff Employee Says Scam Had been Running Since Mid-q1970's.
--Surfer-Dude In Australia Leaves Suit case Full Of $1 Million In Italian Restaurant!

The Prez must love the failure of the SuperCommittee. It gives him a new pincushion now that people are smirking over his increasingly ludicrous Bush blame game. If he didn't want it to fail he would have stayed home and beat up on Congress  in the oval office. Everything, and I mean everything is about 2012 now. Period.

Isn't it ironic that the most liberal and one of the richest cities in the country -- San Francisco -- was built upon pure greed. The fabled "Forty-Niners" would walk upon their grey haired Grammy to get a nugget.

Personally it bothers me that the unthinking press continually vilifies hard working police mainly with their excessive emotional reactions to a vscieral appearing event, casting rational, measured investigation of an event aside.

Actually I'm kind of glad the Cubs got Sveum. I'd never be able to pronounce his name.

"Fair Share" is the most misused word in modern US political history.

Small business job creation is bandied about as the engine that drives job creation. In fact it is the engine that multiplies job creation. Large corporations in regions create small feeder businesses from manufacturing job shops to hairdressers to restaurants. It's just the way it works despite what the Politicans tell you.


This entire "tax the rich thing" is nothing more than the creation of a populist cause for the next election. The money generated from added taxation would be a drop in the bucket compared to the immensity of the task. Nothing will improve until spending (Which has become basically bribery to the voter) is seriously abated.

The headline read: "Is Newt ready For His first debate As A frontrunner?"Newt is always ready for a debate.

No matter how bad the country appears to be going, the demographics will always favor the 0-Man.

Almost Near: Chapter 50 continues. --"Is there anybody in his office I can talk to?"
"Sure."
"Comon. I need more than that."
"Ok, there's woman named Mary, his assistant, who seems to be pretty sharp, and I hear from my pals at the police knows a lot about what may be going on. The police tell me they suspect, that she may have had something to do with helping this woman, who might be named Samantha, get away from the hospital. And...!"
"And...what...
"I have her phone number right here. Yup, I'm holding this piece of paper right here in my fingers."
"What ma darlin' do you want?"
"Ah, I like that southern sugar. I don't want anything. I just thought you should work a little harder. That's the the old New England protestant work ethic." Audrey could now tell he was smiling, having fun with her.
"You know I'm gettin' tired of New England, but I'll tell you what. if you ver need information from Little Rock you got me."
"Does that include inside info on the Clintons?" he paused for a reaction, but Audrey had tried of the game. "Ok its 603 555 1212"
"Thanks, I really do appreciate your help. Really!"
"No problem. I'll keep Little Rock in mind."
Audrey quickly dialed the number. "Hello, the Legal offices of Dante Wallowitz."

The Answer:
As we all remember, Goldie was that vivacious little dancer/comedian on Laugh-In. She went on to have quite the formidable career in h-Wood. Some of her best know Flicks were Private Benjamin, Foul Play, Overboard, Bird on a Wire, Death becomes her, the First Wives Club, Butterflies are Free, There's a Girl in My Soup and her Oscar Winning performance in Cactus flower. She's one of those special personalities who genuinely lights up the screen or room when she walks in.

The key to mental stability in the next 12 months is to take every outrageous statement and or accusation by candidates as just one more unfounded utterance of those greedy for power. I just hate it when my stomach does flip-flops for no reason at all.

Jingle Bells.

Today's Tids Issue 2,467

Opening Stuff:

Welcome to the Tids Annual big Christmas edition. Rudolph, Santa and all the elves generally show up and regale our readers with tales of getting the goods made and out to you, and....What?...It's not Christmas. But what about all of those decorations up a month and the Santa comercials...and the panhandlers with "Happy Holiday's" signs. I thought we had already passed Thanksgiving...Oh, that was advertised in August? Oh well, I guess that means there really is still time to put Christ back into Christmas. Sorry folks, back to the regular crap.

It looks like Rhode Island's new genuine hero Gina was not too fond of yesterday's remarks by Chafee-Lite, calling the surprising comments political sniping. This is a critical time for Rhody and its effort to pass a pension reform act, and Treasurer Raimondo emphasizes that all parties driving to fix underfunded pension debt must bond together as a unified force in the face of the typical unrelenting Union opposition. If the legislature can bore down and find the guts, the passage of this bill will assure RI as the first state in the USofA to get runaway pension costs under control. Well... sorta under control...for a political entity.

The OWS protesters held a sign yesterday that read "You can't evict an idea." And, what exactly is that ide?. Comon, help me on this one.

The Question:
Who was just named "Sexiest Man Alive" by People mag? Name others who have won.

The Headlines:

--Oil Up; Stocks Down.
--Bullet Found In White House Window; Mentally Deranged Man Suspected.
--Social Network Generated Boycott Of Kardashians Gaining Steam; Petition Signers Tired Of Program's Emphasis On Vanity, Greed, Promiscuity, Vulgarity And Over The Top Conspicuous Consumption.
--Prez Ok's Permanent US Military Installation In Australia; Strategy Designed To Control. Emergence Of China.
--Man Gets $500K In Pirates Gold At Storage Unit Auction.
--FaceBook Fighting Flood Of X-Rated And Violent Spam; Hackers Finding FaceBook Good Way To Pass Around Viruses Through Friends.

Of course, RI isn't the only entity with out-of-control spending. The Feds along with the Kardashians have written the book on over spending. But, that's all about to be resolved in the SuperCommittee. Right! Wrong. The Dems can make lots of political gains by not going along with needed reform of the big entitlements. By not compromising with Repubs, Dems preserve their ability to campaign to the nation that the GOP wants to throw grandma off the cliff and preserve millionaire tax cuts. Oh the Dems will posture, but politics will as usual win the day over honest results. It also behooves the Repubs not to agree thus creating the stalemate that would trigger automatic cuts in Defense and Domestic programs. Horrors -- The Repubs are cutting Deefense. It isn't so bad as these cuts won't be implemented til 2013 and are over a ten year period. Many an admin and congressional change will take place allowing Repubs to put back the defense dollars. Oh yeah, a Dem leader on the committee has said he as seen no sign of his guys being able to coalesce over one idea. No matter how you look at it, the Democrats are in control and will be the winners if nothing is done.

Did you realize that within two years of retiring from the NFL, 78% of the players are bankrupt!

I don't know how many of you heard that weird interview with alleged rapist Sandusky. His strange views of the events and his proclivity towards young boys sound like the talk of a man used to getting his way gullible children. He seems convinced that intelligent adults will submit to his fairy tales. Just as the innocent children he abused did.

Retired men often find that shopping is not high on their list of exciting things to do. One creative geezer found ways to pass the boredom in stores like Target. In fact he was barred from the store for stunts like hiding in clothes racks and saying "Pick me, Pick me", or while handling a rifle in the Hunting Department asking a clerk where the antidepressants were...among other inventive diversions. Thanks to NanaDoll for that report.

Science has a new report that says women who have carried and given birth to twins will on average live longer than women who haven't.

I read where 40,000 or so years ago the Homo Sapians arose and because of their much higher intelligence obliterated the neanderthal population that had reigned for millions of years before. But, not so fast. The same report also says that Neanderthal DNA has also been found in existing populations. Frankly, as I look around I think the neanderthal is making a comeback.

But then, if nothing is done by the SuperCommittee, there still will be Political winners and losers. But what about the people and the nation? Does anybody really care, or is everything still just about the next election. It is expected that if nothing happens by November 23, the credit rating of the US will receive another downgrade. But, some politicians will win. Doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy all over -- happy Politicians.

The Answer:
A bewildered Bradley Cooper questions hhis choice as Hottie of this year. Others have been Jude Law,, Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Matthew McConaughey, and Johnny Depp. I'm checking out plastic surgeons now.

Life is good today, except for all of the "Almost Near" readers.

Super-Committee Kryptonite?

Today's Tids Issue 2,454
Opening Stuff:

There are two bleak, stark signs that portend winter's just around the corner. One is leafless trees. The second is mast-less harbors.

The clock is ticking on the Super Committee decision. And Wall Street is starting to strategize for it. I expect this announcement in the next month will for a while supplant EuroZone as the driving force for stocks. Nobody, but nobody expects the group to achieve what the country needs. In fact, Moody's has done some preliminary analysis to support another possible downgrade to the US credit rating. Get ready for some financial aches and pains as strength is sapped from markets.

The Question:
Name Ten Snacks you always thought were healthy, but now, maybe not so much.

The Headlines:

--Countries Reach New Deal After All Night Hard Fought Negotiations.
--Wall Street Rallying.
--Huntsman Continues To Woo College Students; Main Message: Let's Un-divide The Nation; Compromise to Get Things Done.
--Country Shows Modest Economic Gains In Q3; Passes Danger Of Slipping Back Into Recession.
--Turkey Quake death toll Pushing Up Through 525.
--Romney Crushing Cain And The Rest In New Hampshire; Not So Great In Rest Of Country; Forbes Predicts Perry As GOP Nominee.
--OWS Warriors Concerned As Oakland And Atlanta Crack Down On Public Mess.

In response to my item yesterday about crickets needing sex before professional fights, a reader says "So? It sounds just like our Professional sports teams. Who's your daddy?

I see that a restaurant here has a new menu offering of pork bellies. You eat Pork Bellies? I thought you just traded them on the futures market.

When approaching a poker table, a good player always avoids the folding chair.

God, I almost forgot the Pigskin Picks! That's how bad last weeks results were. Jax over Balt? Our record now stands at 67-36 with the percentage falling to 65%. Can we bring it back up in this Topsy Turvy season? Who knows. But, here goes. The ostensibly tougher games are Pats-Steelers, Dal-Phil and SD-KC. Yeah right. The rest are easy. Here goes nuttin': Pats, Tenn, No, Houston, NYG, Carolina, Balt, Denver, Buff, SF, Cinn, Philly and KC.

Consumers are quite excited about four of the new really small cars -- Volkswagon Beetle (Biggest; Most expensive), Fiat 500 (Safest; Best for In Town), Chevy Sonic (Least Expensive) and Hyundai Veloster (Quirky, Upscale interior.), Just in case you are interested. Test drivers say they are all fun!

One of the things I hate about progress is that they often change things that are just perfect the way they are. Like my Braun coffee pot that makes good coffee and was compactly designed, priced right and unadorned with mystery switches. I have bought many of the same model, and have had the same good pot for years and never felt lacking. But now...I'm being forced to upgrade...to what? A product manager's dream. That's about it.

And...beating earnings estimates isn't what it used to be either. Whoops and huzzahs are coming from Wall Street as corporation after corporation beats analysts estimates. But, like tests for students, the bar has been lowered -- quite a bit lower. So be cautious, as the upbeat talk may be more "I want it" euphoria rather than "We did it" euphoria. But then, Wall Street wouldn't fool us, would they.

As far as I can remember, Tea Party protestors used indoor toilet facilities. And, what's with those incessant drums anyhow. And, where are the environmental police when you need them? Ugh.

The McCarran-Walter Act also know as the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1952 (INA) requires among other things that all aliens possess proof of identity, documentation that determines their status as legal. Basically many states, even though under the Constitution all immigration authority lies with the Feds, are passing laws that are exactly based on that 1952 landmark law of fairness. Why? Because the Feds are not enforcing the Federal law and, it seems, trying to subvert this law that has existed for 59 years. Here's the scary part. In a legal brief, Obama's Justice Department under Holder stated (According to Kansas SoS and Immigration legal expert) that it will not pay attention to the 1952 Law. Can you say rolling over in their 19th century graves?

Almost Near: Chapter 46 continues. --"Hi Jack," the Policeman turned towards Mary, "This is Dante's new paralegal, Deborah Highsmith. How's it goin' in there dahlin'." Jack scanned Samantha like a grocery checkout clerk.
  "No noise is good news." Jack, a policeman both Dante and Mary enjoyed loved his dumb jokes. And he laughed. Samantha smiled at him, radiantly and confidently.
"Nice to meet you Jack." She held out her hand and jack shook it...still eying her.
  "You too...ah, what'd you say your name was?"
  Mary quickly answered "Deborah" thinking that Samantha might forget who she was. She smiled to herself. "Ok if we go in?" Jack nodded and reached for the doorknob.
  "Still, looks the same," he uttered as the women passed through. He smiled at Samantha.
  "I think he likes you Sam."
  "I think it best if we, I, don't stay here long." She caught her breath as she turned towards Dante. His head was complete bandaged, and his arms appeared to be in some sort of traction. He appeared part of a machine that beeped constantly. But in this case she thought reassuringly. She walked quickly to the bedside and touched a small patch of on his hand not buried under tubes. "Dante." Dante." "She looked at Mary. "Do you think he can hear me?"
  Through the door they could hear Jack talking on his phone. They thought they heard the word "Deborah".

The Answer: 
Number one is that fiber favorite Granola (Too much sugar). The rest are Yogurt Smoothies, Bran Muffins, Whole Wheat Wraps, Fat Free Cheese, Fat Free Salad Dressing, Rice Cakes, Pretzels, Veggie Burgers and Diet Sodas. Most of the reasons for the negativity is the ingredients added to make tasteless things tasty. Fortunately I have always resisted the attractions of healthy foods.

Men of Steel could not penetrate the wall of partisan politics.

Flash Mob.

Today's Tids Issue 2,408
(Written 8/10)
Opening Stuff:

So, the Bernanke plan worked for about 17 1/2 hours. Just long enough for the big traders to make few billion on a fast buy/sell program.

The social networks can rally the oppressed against tyranny, bring families together for reunions, call for hoards of irresponsible teens to descend upon quiet neighborhoods for dangerous keg parties and, as we're seeing in the burning streets of London, rouse the criminals for wide spread unprovoked attacks and robbery. The London travesty is just the most visible example of flash organized gang robbery sprees that are also occurring regularly throughout America. Flash Mobs are fun when they are singing Christmas Carols, but not when the flash is in the torches. Islands of safety in cities and countrysides are perhaps no longer havens anymore because when discovered, instant calls for mayhem can go forth from Blackberry's and IPhones.

How much of that money being sent to Somalia and Ethiopia will trickle through he fingers of despots and reach the suffering masses? That's what always bothers me about the pleas for help. Who gets the money?

I am really getting tired of all the traffic jams this summer. Whatever happened to the concept that high gas prices will put a damper on driving?

The Question:
Good Morning America is in the process of determining through a viewer vote the most beautiful place in America, They have narrowed it down to 10 finalists. (Hint, one is mentioned in te middle of the Tids today.) Name the ten.

The Headlines:

--New Worries About bank Balances Drives DOW Down 512 Points.
--Republicans Keep Control Of Wisconsin Legislature After recall Vote fails.
--Fed Dramatic Pledge Of Two Year Moratorium On Rate Increases Spurs Markets for a coupel of hours.
--Harry Reid Suggests Most Partisan Dem Senators For Super "Joint Committee"; Patty Murry, John Kerry, Max Baucus Have Power But Little Compromise In their Hearts; McConnell Adds His favorite Partisan Republicans; Super Committee Appears To have No Chance..
--UK Fighting Back Against Criminal Thuggery.
--Ahmadinejad Asks UN To Step Into London riots.

This so-called "Super Committee" already look like a big joke. First of all, they're putting politicians on it.

It's probably already been done, But if not, why Not -- somebody should write a book about Nancy Wake. In fact this WWII super spy and leader of French resistance performed so effectively in so many different dangerous situations behind the scenes, that a whole series of books could be written about this fantastic woman from Roseneath Wellington new Zealand who died at 90. Wake was tso a mazing and so effective against the Germans that at one time she headed the Gestapo "Most Wanted" list.

America's Got Talent.
I'd call last night's You Tube Special repetitious, Even the good acts of the night were repetitious. Maybe that's what happens when you go from the small video to the large live stage. Personally I enjoyed the Cloggers, the West Springfield dancers, Gymkana. I could have liked Brett Daniels, Kevin Colis, Beth Ann Robinson, Matt Wilhelm and Powerhouse. I didn't think much at all of the 8 year old contortionist, the basketball juggler, the dog act and Aeon (All though thye had some skills.) Hw=who goes forward? Kevin Colis, Matt Wilhelm (People like black light shows), West Springfield and Gymkana. Illusionist Brett Daniels could be five.

The theater stage performance of a story about puns, is a play on words.

Brag and Boast Department:
Magnificent Newport RI was featured on Monday's Good Morning America as one of their "Ten Most Beautiful Places in America" series. The program did a great job Monday displaying for all to see the beauty and glory of my town.

And, while we are boasting, local Chef Kevin Gaudreau of The Pier just won first prize on the Rocco's Dinner Party TV show. Celeb Chef Rocco Dispitito holds a small competition two determine the two chefs who will prepare a major multi-course dinner for his friends. Kevin won it all with a down to earth dinning room and an array of creative takes on Pub food.

How Blatant is that!, Department:
I see where th 0-Man team are planning a big patriotic promotion just before the 2012 Presidential election -- The release of a new big Hollywood movie based on the Seal's raid and killing of Bin Laden. Yesterday he tried to use the death of the Seals to promote non-partisanship for the coming debt nogotiations. That was part of his speech designed to rally the stock market. The market dove off a cliff while he spoke. Tyhe Presidential Seal of Approval.

They have announced a new process to determine the gender of the baby within two weeks of conception. The promoter of the idea says it will help parents plan better baby wardrobes. Say what? Many view it as a potential to increase early abortions as parents plan the perfect family. So let me get this straight -- Science can now say it is a boy or a girl, but abortion promoters say that it really isn't a child. What a crock.

So, I guess if want your children to grow up to be excellent stock managers as you plan for retirement, then you would expect the parents to abort boys, now considered inferior to female sin the investment business. in favor of the now acclaimed female.

Almost Near: Chapter 34 continues. -- "Hi Tucker." Samantha looked alert and very happy; very beautiful in a navy blue print blouse and off-white shorts. She was barefoot, but didn't seem to mind the clam shells. She couldn't take where eyes off of Tucker. Her "Hi Tucker" was soft and caring.
Tucker now walked quickly towards her. He put his arms around her, and kissed her lovingly, gently on the lips. Then he pulled her into him. They melded, flowed together as if they were one. It felt like what he remembered from years ago. His perfect fit with Samantha Wilcox. But she couldn't remember. Could she? Or was it still part of her too?
Samantha started talking like she had rehearsed it. "I am so happy to have you home Tucker. Not just because I love to look at you. Not because you make me happy." She looked up at him again. Pleading. "I'm confused Tucker. I am so totally comfortable here in Lobster Cove. Yet something always seems missing. A lawyer from New Hampshire is looking for me, and I've never heard of him. When you leave, I'm floating in space.

The Answer:
Of course, I'm voting for Newport and Cape Cod. I live in Newport and spent my youthful summers on the Cape. the rest are Ashville NC, Aspin, CO, Cape Cod, Destin FL, Grand Tetos jackson Hole WY, Lanikai Beach HA, Point Reyes CA, Sedona AZ and Sleeping Bear Dunes MI. Want to vote? Here it is: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/best_places_USA/

I'm depressed. -520

Well,,, at least Jennifer Lopez is returning to AI for 2012.