Football and Butterball.

Today's Tids Issue 4,532

Gravy and More:

I wish the letters I type could be the notes of a beautiful melody.

Dreams of sleighrides over hills and across rivers to grandma certainly have changed in these hectic modern times.

It is said that the Massasoit’s brought a lot of corn to the first Thanksgiving. When you read today’s jokes, you’ll see that I’m continuing the tradition.

A-maizeing.

I have learned that people’s memories tend to be pretty selective. I like to remember what did well, and not dwell on all that I did wrong. I think it is healthier, as long as you remember that you actually did do something wrong and learned from it.

What is blue and covered in feathers?

A turkey holding its breath.

The Question:

Name all of the US vice presidents who rose to become President because the President died or had to step away?

The Headlines:

--S&P And Nasdaq Open Strong; Durable Goods Orders Surprise Moving Higher; GDP Data Pushes October Number Revised Upward To 2.1%; New Jobless Claims Decline More Than Expected.

--Wednesday Storms Certain To Mar Holiday Travel.

--Consumer Confidence Index Nudges Downward For Fourth Consecutive Month; CCI Still Strong In Positive Territory.

--US To Designate Mexican Drug Cartels As Terrorists.

--New CNN Poll On Dems: Biden 28% (Decline), Sanders 17 (rise), Warren (14 (Big Decline) and Buttigieg 11 (Big Rise). Bloomberg is at 3% Along With Harris, Steyer and Yang. At 2% are Amy and Cory.

--Nadler Judiciary Gang To Begin Impeachment Hearings December 4.

--Huge Blast At Texas TPC Chemical Plant Forces Evacuations; Searching For Injured.

--New Totals for Albania Earthquake: 26 dead, 648 Injured.

--Elite Climber Falls At Yosemite’s El Capitan,

Is it me, or are Medical offices really cutting back on staff? Around here it is probably because Doctors are receiving smaller and smaller payments from the Gov and insurance companies. We Know that RI is among the worse states for Docs. Think about what might happen when Medical Care is “Free”. Will talented potential doctors opt for a better paying field.

There was a pretty bad joke in yesterday’s Tids that became incoherent because of a typo.  It should have read, “The movement from fossil fuels to battery propulsion has created a highly charged environment. (Battery, not barter.) Yes, it was bad.

So now if you injure an animal, it’s a federal crime? The fed Gov is getting much too large.

The Ole’ Tids NFL pickers are doing their deed a day early as I suspect Turning To Tids will be at a minimum Thanksgiving Morn. Last week was another good one bringing our record up to 115-58-1 (67%). And by the way, how dominant were Baltimore and San Fran in their wins last week. In case you haven’t looked, they play each other Sunday in what has to be the game of the season so far. Tomorrow we have the three, a traditional for T-Day. Detroit who I have backed is letting me down so I go Chicago. I like NO to beat Atlanta and in the most important game we have Buffalo at Dallas, a team that must win. Buff has been stubbornly hanging on for tight wins, but Dallas is in a hole it desperately needs to climb out of. And will.

On Sunday the big meaningful games among leaders are the aforementioned SF-Balt, and Tenn-Indy, Seattle-Minn and Houston New England. Balt is red hot. San Fran is rolling. But I think there are more flaws in the Niners and I just have ot go with Balt at home and their magician QB. I like Tennessee better than I like Indy. Also, Tennessee is putting it together, finally. I stay with Titans even though they are playing in Indy. Houston and New England will be a war. Can NE win another nail biter? Houston’s Watson is a lot like Balt’s Jackson who destroyed NE. But I think the Pats are getting better, and again, find a way. As good as Minn has been Seattle is better at home. Of the rest, I like Cleve over Pitt (Helmets are banned), Philly over Miami, Carolina over The Skins, Green Bay over the Giants, TB over Jax and KC over Oakland, who vanished last week. Three mystery gams are Rams-Cards, Chargers-Broncs sand Bengals-Jets, all of which could go either way. I’m going Cards, Chargers and Jets.

You serve a Tofu Turkey on Pranksgiving.

Doctors, who I hold as number one profession, are often the targets of two other high visibility professions, Lawyers and Policies. Why?

If Alibaba was an American Company, its stock price would be out of sight. It just looks like the strongest, smartest company of them all.

When was it determined that the world needed lawyers? Think about it, people hire lawyers to defend themselves against lawyers. Weird.

If April showers bring flowers in May, then May flowers must bring Pilgrims.

If Trump didn’t pardon the Turkeys, would he be subject to the new Federal law against cruelty to animals – which he just signed?

Of all the dire predictions about the destruction of humanity, I believe one of the more genuine is the potential for machines to replace humans in the workplace.

Momma Turkey said to her disobedient children “Your father must be rolling over in his gravy.”

If miners bring canaries into the mines to save their lives, is that against the new federal law?

I get these pop-ups from familiar looking sites asking me to sign up for new security against hackers. How do I know the pop-ups aren’t clever hackers?

A turkey has used as a defense against the impending axe: “I am 1/1024 bald eagle!”

A well-known political scientist from Brookings sent me this guide to a happy TDay, “There are six ways to handle Trump’s impeachment during a dinner: Avoidance, confrontation, side-stepping, listening, focusing on undecided and humor.” Or, just enjoy the people around you. Political combativeness never enters my mind on TDay.

This just in: “Police say that runner accidentally shot with a starter pistol is race related.”

If vegans and vegetarians don’t like meat, how come so much money is being spent to make vegetables taste like meat.

Some of the most disturbing decisions in America are being made by school principals.

The Turkey survived Thanksgiving by being ahead of the carve.

The Answer:

John Tyler replaced Benjamín Harrison who died after one month in office. Millard Fillmore replaced Zachery Taylor when he died after 1.5 years. Andrew Johnson took over for Abe. Chester A. Arthur took over for James Garfield and Teddy Roosevelt stepped up when McKinley went down. Warren Harding died and Calvin Coolidge finished out his term. When FDR died during WWII, Harry Truman took over to make big decisions. Lyndon Johnson was the man on the spot when JFK was assassinated. Gerald Ford started as the Speaker of the House and jumped to VP when VP Agnew resigned and up again to Prez when Richard Nixon resigned. He was the only President never elected to VP or P. Other VP’s who were elected to President were John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Martin Van Buren, Teddy, Calvin, Harry, Lyndon, Nixon and GHW Bush.

Well, here we are on the eve of the beautiful day of thanks. Kitchens are hectic today as potatoes are skinned and boiled, bread is ripped apart and seasoned, and vegies are prepared for their tadeonal TDay special Thanking Day arrival. Yes. Tomorrow is not only a day of thanks but one of relaxation and satisfaction over meals well prepared. And well consumed

Eat, Drink, and Cranberry!

I hope today’s jokes don’t bring on indigestion!!