Layng quietly in fields

Layng quietly in fields
Glstening lights

Friday, January 18, 2013

A gun to The Tidster's head.



Today's Tids Issue 2,751
Opening Stuff:
 
I live next to Washington Square, in which there is a wrought iron fenced-in plot of green grass shaded by leafy trees known as Eisenhower Park. Washington often walked that green expanse on the way to his meetings with the French General Rochambeau. Ben Franklyn would have kicked a small stone or two across the park on the way to see his printer brother and nieces and nephews who lived around the corner. The park was named for Ike, not only because he was a much admired President, but because he moved into a house across the harbor at Fort Adams, originally built for the first fort Commandant Henry Hunt and now called Eisenhower House, so he could play lots of golf at Newport Country Club while on vacation from the White House. Oh yeah, the Eisenhower house is an easy nine iron away from Jackie Kennedy's home, where JFK would also put up his feet while resting way from the Oval Office. You are being subject to this little pause, journey into history, because among the reader suggestions for Tids improvement was more trivia. And, I always thought the Tids were generally quite trivial!

Irony Department:
One of the biggest businesses in this state is based on people coming to Newport to look at the way it used to be when Rhode Island had wealth. Then they go back home and vote fro representatives who continually assure that it never happens again.

The frenzied gang rape and subsequent death of that woman in India is not surprising at all, if you are familiar with the culture there. There is no moral reservations in the hearts of men when it comes to the ill treatment of woman. No guilt. The resentment of women begins at birth, when, for instance, little baby girls are the first to be removed from breast feeding for the benefit of the boys. And it continues though life until parents of girls have to pay a dowry for somebody to take them. And, if the dowry is too small, the woman is burned to death. It would take generations if it were even possible to change the moral compass of in India. And then, I look at America and wonder where our apparent current acceptance of moral decay will take us in the ages to come.

Yesterday, I heard a radio commercial  for the highly regarded, yet recently revised Meriam Hospital's orthopedic operation. It was for their new Joint Center. This morning I heard there were already lines around the block, until a nurse with a large megaphone announced that this wasn't  not a Medical Marijuana Distribution Store. Say what? You foolin' me?

Question:
Double "Q" Day! shout Hal-le-lu-iah! 1. When was the last time and what movie won "Best Picture" at the Oscars when its Director was not nominated? 2. Name the singing group that included "Danny" of the TV cop show Blue Blood.

The Headlines:
--"O: Begins Second Term With 51% Approval Rating.
--AP-Gfk Poll: 53% Of Americans Say Failure To Increase Debt Level Will Create Serious Economic Problems; 60% Say That They Agree With Boehner/McConnell Insistence On Deep Spending Cuts Or No Debt Ceiling Increase at All; 76% Agree Fed Deficits Top Problem, Up 7 Points.
--60 Foreigners Including Americans are Missing, Hostages In Algeria.
--Stocks Down; Intel Woes Counterbalance Encouraging News On China Economy.
--Obama's Kenyan Bro Contemplating Running For Office; Says US Bro Inspired Him.
--Famed Bolshoi Artistic Director Attacked With Acid.

Hey. 2,750 issues is kinda, sorta aother mini-milestone. Typing lots of Tids improves the strength of my fingers and subsequently the grip on your golf club. Which is one reason why my slices and hooks go so far into the woods. Which actually isn't so bad when you think of the balls I find when I get there! So my fingers say, Thanks, for another 250 mini-milestone.

Yesterday in answer to the final question, "What more can the Tids do for you". One good and apparently desperate reader answered, "Fix my slice."

Wrangler Jeans has just introduced a new pair with built-in anti-cellulite treatment!

Actually, I received some good suggestions which I began to answer in the first Tid today and will incorporate throughout the year. And, some others that could help alleviate the guilt that would allow me to have the strength to continue putting out this eclectic mess.

I fell asleep after about five to ten minutes into the highly anticipated Oprah interview. What I saw was a stony, unemotional one time icon trying to get through an event he would hope would relaunch his career. Oprah was doing what she does best, appearing to ask incisive questions that are not really hard on the interviewee. For that's how the big time interviewers survive, provide a forum of apparent openness, but in a comfortable manner and inviting atmosphere that would induce the next Celeb with problems to come on the show. Many of the honest reviews I heard this morning aid that they believe Armstrong hurt himself.

Remember Jack Armstrong, "The All American Boy"! Maybe Lance should change his last name. Or is cheating the new All American pastime?

How come they don't spell "Indict", "Indite" -- or of you want to get fancy -- "Indight"?

I see where Pauline Friedman Phillips died. She was, if you didn't already know, "Dear Abbey". From now on, send your letters to The Happy Tidster. Empathy is his middle name.

Reading Between The Lines Movie Reviews:
--Broken City will hold your interest. It's an intense movie about a corrupt city and the efforts of a renegade cop and a feisty mayor to fix it. It looks like a good combo except that the cop Donny Wahlberg, was double crossed and framed by the mayor, Russell Crowe. I'd go.
--Hide the children, Arnold is back. Yes the Governator is a small lazy town sheriff after bungling a big job in LA. Low and behold, drug dealers invade his sleep community, and Arnold feels that old itch. He jumps in his special 250 mph Corvette and off he goes with a rag tag band of deputies to take on the most ruthless drug lords of all.
--Mama is really scary. An Uncle of two missing girls and his girl friend head off to find out why the kids vanished from the neighborhood without a trace. The obstacles they encounter will rattle your bones.

The Conscience: Chapter 13.
   Jason wearily sat on a pile of rough cast yacht components, hands reddened and sooty, face black, shoulders slumped. He put his head in his hands. He would raise up and look at the charred destruction in front of him. Around him, the yard became a wake, people moving slowly, wanting to say something comforting to each other but too awed by the thought of their hard work in ruins.
   Jason rose, "Ok, we all have a lot of work to do here. I've ordered some food and drinks in the cafeteria," He walked among his people while talking, giving some a hug, touching others on the shoulder, accepting the helpless looks in their eyes, "There's nothing more you can do here, so get in there and relax for a minute, And think about you future which we l will put back together. That's a promise." The mood seemed to lighten up, as the crowd moved towards the entry to the cafeteria.
   Jason now alone, walked slowly towards the other side of the yard and to the door which would take him up to is office. The challenge of what had to be done, shoved aside the cloud of despair, but not the anger. He pulled out his phone. Within seconds, "Eliot, what did Jeff say." He listened as Wu filled  him in on what little he knew. Ok, meet me in my office. And call Jeff again. Set him up on the conference phone. I'll be there in two minutes. Hope he's sober." Jason took off in a slow trot.

The Answer:
1. In 1989, Bruce Beresford was snubbed for his work directing the Oscar winning Driving Miss Daisy. In the 1930's, "Wings" and "Grand Hotel also won best Pic without a director nomination. 2. Donny Wahlberg was joined by his younger brother Mark in the boy band, "New Kids on the Block"

Need something to do while waiting for the big Sunday games, test the logic of your brain:

You mean, everybody isn't waiting for the Big Game between New England and Baltimore or San Fran and Atlanta? Hmmm -- Maybe I have the wrong set of priorities. Pass the Tums please.

Have a great weekend everybody.

Maybe I should type less to moderate my golf club grip and eliminate my slice.

Welcome to our world.



Today's Tids Issue 2,750
Opening Stuff:
 
I walk the docks of Winter. Icy waters lapping at pilings. A lonely mooring appearing to drift with the incoming tide. I walk the empty piers hoping to see the head of a seal pop through the glassy surface. A smiling face with big eyes, happily looking for breakfast neath our quiet harbor's rippling wavelets. Now staring wide-eyed at me. A quick splash that surprises me. Just as I surprise this stranger by looking back. There is a sense of recognition, curiosity, as two of God's creatures meet for a precious moment. The chill disappears into the warmth of friendliness.

Prediction Department:
The worst lawmaking always occurs under the clouds of hysteria following an emotional event: The Feds will be quietly burying Exec orders and NY will be redacting their new gun law in two years. if not sooner.

The Question:
Double "Q" day -- 1. Who was Conrad Bain? What happened to the rest of the people he was associated with in his most notable role? 2. Where was Kieth Urban born?

The Headlines:
--Brokers Seeing Sunshine Today; Stocks Up Solidly.
--Citi Reports Big Earnings Miss.
--New Analysis Show Emerging Economies Out Performing US; Investors Getting Mixed Signals About US Growth.
--Pakistan Worries Of "Soft" Coup By Activist Cleric.
--Nations Confounded Over Proper Strategy To Respond To Algerian Raid; al-Qaida related Group Says Raid In Response To French Mali Attacks.
--Notre Dame's Manti Te'o Is Latest Sports Prevaricator; Some Deem Former Heisman Candidate Most Creative.

So, what will "O" do about the 7 Americas being held hostage in Algeria? Wait for the French, the french of all people, to act?

Conference Championship Picks, Department:
Baltimore or New England. New England or Baltimore. God, is my churning stomach in pain again. Baltimore has the Pats number. Especially in Playoff games. Baltimore is mad about last year's AFC Championship loss. Baltimore is playing really well right now. Flaco is a winner with a strong arm. The Pats will win, because I am a homer. In addition, Brady is focused. NE has a terrific Offensive Line. The defense is much better than last year and earlier in this year when the Ravens beat the Pats. I feel it in my bones. Now Atlanta-SF is another story. Frankly I just can't get a feel for Atlanta. SF with another Harbaugh leading the way, is the glamor team with the cool running QB who can also throw rockets. Atlanta is at home like the Pats. Turner is a tough runner for the Falcons, and Ryan surprised everybody with his cool under pressure comeback last week. And the winner is just not popping out of my brain. I gotta pick SF. So far this Playoff Picks Season, the Mighty Tids Sports Department is 4W, 4L.

There are 132,656 (+/-) K-12 schools in the USA. There have been in the last several decades, what...3 or 4 mass in-school shootings? Add a policeman, 132,656 policemen, and what do you get? Thousands and thousands of policemen playing Free Cell from 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM. An Ohio school decided to arm janitors. Think about that statement for a while -- "Armed Janitors". Most of the solutions to big problems these days are ones that circumvent the real solutions, solutions that may infringe on Taboo subjects -- like reorienting mental healthcare. Any body who doesn't agree that the Newtown tragedy was the result of one disturbed person is basically mindless. Unfortunately laws designed to protect mentally ill patients do not protect the innocent. But, if I was issuing executive orders, I'd be issuing them to Health and Human Services.

American Idol debuted for the 12th year last night, and I think they could be in trouble with two divas who spend most of their time on screen hating each other. Randy Jackson will not be able to get a word in edgewise, and because the new Judge threesome, Manaj, Carey and Urban are being paid a combined $38 Million!!, you know the cameras will be mostly on their antics. Hopefully they will show some good performances along the way. It will be tedious to watch. And I have enjoyed Idol for several years now. The easy to imagine the producers replacing Ryan Seacrest with Jerry Springer.

There's a warning creeping around the Internet about the Cheesecake Factory entree -- yummy batter sauteed shrimp over linguini in a cream sauce -- which weighs in at 3,120 calories. Sounds about right to me.

It seems that all wars in the future will be more political than military, which means nothing will ever be accomplished.

Men might just as well go back to Hunting and protecting the homestead. In a new report on Hedge Funds, women are outperforming men by a wide margin. Last year, Hedge Funds run by women produced a 8.95% return while all funds world-wide delivered a comparatively anemic 2.69% Yikes.

Live by the IPhone; Die by the IPhone. The Apple dilemma.

A reader suggests that we have a new majority in the US -- a majority of fools. Like, for instance, people in who continually elect officials who have systematically destroyed governmental entities like, say, Illinois and Rhode Island. And who's ignorance is spreading like the Flu in January. Can America be vaccinated against the infection of human ineptitude. If you know the facts, you may have to think while voting.

The Answer:
1. Conrad Bain died yesterday at the age of 89. He was Dad -- Phillip Drummand -- on Different Strokes. the glue that held together Todd Bridges, Dana Plato and Gary Coleman...until they went out on their own. Dane had a tragic life after Strokes dying of an overdose. 47 year old Todd Bridges, who regarded Bain as his real father during the show's run, moved into drugs and lawbreaking until hit bottom around 1997. he became a Christian and turned his life around. Gary Coleman as you know was easily the most famous of the "Kids", made and lost $18 Million. He never attained anything approaching his Strokes fame. he had a serious kidney ailment, and was best known for a serious of surreal activities until he died at 42. Ah, child stardom! 2. Kieth urban is from new Zealand.

Hey, how about poor Jamie Dimon, the smartest banker of all, they say. His bosses, the board of J.P. Morgan have cut his salary from $23 Mil to about $11.5 Mil. It's tough at the top. Now he'll have to learn to struggle like the rest of us. 

See you tomorrow. Oh yeah, while sitting around waiting for the next Tids tomorrow, let me know what you like. What would you like more of? Less of? What would you like to see go away completely?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Dowager Countess Knows.



Today's Tids Issue 2,748
Opening Stuff:
 
I had to love the line from Downton Abbey: "Vulgarity is no substitute for wit." Do we laugh at cleverness any more, or are we just persuaded by laugh tracks that seem to turn crassness into some form of humor that is foreign to me. Have we lowered the standards for comedic writers by rewarding comedians for their fame over their inventiveness. Maybe it's been that way longer than I'm willing to admit. Did people laugh at Milton Berle because humans need laughter in their hearts and he was the only show on TV, or because he was funny?

I remember back in the formative days of my youth, one of the slogans of the day was "Crime doesn't Pay". Nowadays we see cheaters winning all of the time -- in politics, business and sports. "Getting away with it" is the new mantra. Circumventing the intent of laws is the new legal challenge. Ethics is becoming too much of an afterthought as opposed to a primary guide. And now we have Lance Armstrong confessing in is what most possibly another money making gig, cashing in on his cheating.

Sign seen in front of a Church: "There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.".

The Question:
Give me five reasons why Lance Armstrong is supposedly confessing now on Oprah.

The Headlines:
--"O" To Cajole On Guns Today; Using Children As Props.
--Single Home Construction Hits Seven Year Confidence High.
--Ken Salazar, Interior Secretary, Latest In Cabinet To Resign; Will Be Out By March.
--Apple Regains Yesterday's Loss; Some Technical Observers See Possible Fall To $350.
--Snow, Sleet, Freezing Roads Tie Up Northeast.
--Syria Forces Retaliate Against "Terrorist" Rebels After University Attack That Killed 87.
--Pakistan Digs In Against Demands Of Muslim Cleric.
--Islamists Attack Algerian Oil Field; Kill, Kidnap Foreigners.
--Dozens From NY Metro Five Organized Crime Families Rounded Up In Extortion, Loan Sharking Scheme; Local Garbage Haulers Targets.
--Lance Confession Raking In Big Ad Bucks For Struggling OWN.

Four years ago 0-Woman began her road to 1st Lady fame with a veggie garden in the rear of the White House...symbolic of her war against obesity. Yesterday, the WSJ had a very good idea for her second term -- bring fathers back into families. Statistics show that the absence of a dad is one of the biggest, acknowledged problems facing struggling low income families. 26% of all households have a single parent. That is 72% for black households. Intense studies who that children with  two parents have a far better chance fo rising above. The household income for 2-parent families is $80K; for 1 parent - $24K. It has also been exhaustively proven that money doesn't improve education results, parents do. So Michelle, I think, this is a great objective for you, and if successful maybe the biggest contribution that any first lady ever has given to America. Who knows, maybe more stable households will reduce binge eating too.

There's something about Rory McElroy becoming another Nike Boy that has defeated my enthusiasm for him. A swoosh for cryin' out loud. It is so not Irish. Northern or not.

Seinfeld will live on, because it was genuinely funny, and would have been so without riotous audience simulation.

If Michelle O takes on the single parent problem, she will be the first Obama ever to accept a tough challenge and do something about it.

Have you noticed that those nightly TV gossip shows in their effort to promote viewership, take an innocuous headline and insert the word "controversy" after it.

0-Man has to love the French for attacking al-Qaida in Mali. And he has to love the gun control enigma giving him another chance to deride the Repubs while also obscuring the real problems in America..

I watched Adam Sandler receive a People's Choice award and then read a written acknowledgement, which he himself said was very funny, yet only elicited nervous laughter from a traditionally "Easy" bedazzled audience. I actually felt sorry for him, because it was that bad, that unfunny. Now I know why trailers for his sophomoric, often vulgar films look so bad -- they are! This now from an observer who a month or so ago after watching the SNL Christmas, thought Sandler was the funniest part of the show. Maybe that was his apex.

The Controller of the Currency in it's Quarterly Report has fired a warning shot across the bow of four banks -- G-S, BoA, Citi, JPM -- with regard to their dangerously out-of-balance derivatives portfolios. For instance, G-S has assets of about $114.7 Billion and derivative exposure of $41.6 Trillion. That is not a typo. If you like nervous tap dancing, watch Wall Street in 2013. And be alert.

The Conscience: Chapter 12 concluding.
   "So, I said now gingerly walking a fine line, you don't think this feud, whatever it is, could ever lead to sabotage?  
     She barely nodded, but she did nod. She tried to look a bit insulted, but this time I knew she was delaying. "I believe the feud is deeper than what my parents have told me. Like you have said, I must agree also that it seems not like competitive differences in the past." Her lip line moved slightly towards a smile. One of those believable, tight clenched lips smiles. "I did not live through the early days before their was resentment between us. I mean My family and your boss. Not us."
   I didn't smile or react. Nor did my hand jump towards the martini glass. I interpreted the meaning of words my way. "Ok, I am truly the naive person in this affair. You are certainly one of the most knowledgeable...about everything, except this anger between the two groups. You and I must battle beneath. Yet you are a integral part of one group while I am just a hired hand. A day worker picked off the unemployment pile. You could tell me more about Jason and Wu. The Jason I knew was an affable bigot, if that makes sense at all?"
  "Affable has never equaled goodness. Look at our politicians!" She burst into an enormous smile. I couldn't stop myself from following. This time my steel barrier broke down.
   "Maybe," I finally said after savoring her delight, "maybe we should be working closer together." I paused to watch her. It was her turn not to react. But her pause made me believe she was thinking about what I had said. My thoughts were interrupted by an amazing aroma arising from a magnificent plate of pasta quietly inserted on the table before me. Now I had to fight dual infatuations.

The Answer:
1. He cannot be tried for perjury now that the statute of limitations has run out. 2. He has realized he has lost the denial wars and it's time to repair the legacy -- become the "Hero" who cleaned up the sport!. 3. He wants to compete again, so he needs to get the "banned for life" lifted. Yet, if he does get it lifted today, he still must wait 8 years to race again --- at 50. 4. His lawyers say Ok, with respect to various old money making contracts.  5. He is truly remorseful, and wants to make amends to former friends who he sued, threatened and intimidated. So it all boils down to -- is this a confession or a new strategy? And, besides, Oprah needs viewers.

Bill Mahr would like to think he is Will Rogers, but he has too much acid in his soul.




Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Transmogrification or bust.



Today's Tids Issue 2,747
Opening Stuff:
 
I'm still scratching my head after watching the Prez ramble on about how he is some kind of victim because congress creates everything and he just has to do what they say. The only thing the President ever really says no matter how he says it while demonizing the opposition, is "My way or the Highway." As one wag opined. "The President is condemning Republicans for having the courage of his own (Former, now disavowed) convictions." In other words President Obama is like what mark Twain said about New England weather -- If you don't like what he says today, just wait a bit and he'll make up something new tomorrow. 

If you think Monday's Presidential foray into self-disillusionment was an illogical travesty, wait till tomorrow when he troops out behind him on stage, a bevy of children against guns, chosen by their letters to the President probably suggested by their teachers in the wake of the Newtown shootings. "I didn't want to besmirch the constitution, the children made me do it."

After many years of working, the limo driver didn't have much to chauffeur it.

The Question:
Name the non-Presidents pictured on US Paper money.

The Headlines:
--Some Saying 0-Man Risks Impeachment If Going Around Congress On 2nd.
--FaceBook To Announce New, Broader Search Capability; FaceBook Down 1.4 Million Active Users Since Holidays..
--Admin Sending Out Scare Signals About Dangers Of failing Infrastructure.
--Bombing Kills 532 At Syrian University.
--Disruption Continues As Political Confusion Reigns.
--France Vows To Stay In Mali Until Peace; Islamist Groups Rally Together Against French Threat.


If you think about it, American would probably love the option of three parties -- Liberal, Moderate and Conservative. Let's face it, "Reagan Democrats" were Democrat moderates who held conservative vales on issue like immigration, working over welfare and national security. There are many hard and fast states-rights Republicans who are strong on social issues. In addition, it is my humble opinion that Hispanics will intelligently move away from pure democrat majority, and a Moderate party would be a perfect bridge for this emerging giant demographic on their way to understanding the reality about the historic greatness of America.

Of course, social issues should never be elements of the national political debate as they mainly serve to shroud the real serious gut-wrenching national issues in clouds of relentless, ideological cacophony.

Ziva David (Cote de Pablo) on NCIS is the best Female character on network TV. Just a hair better than Detective Kate Becker (Stana Katec) on Castle. Tonight's NCIS should be a great one, and you don't want to be the person who killed Ziva's father last week.

I have to figure that 2 to 300 Thousand years ago the first humans figured out that the person who acquired something had more power than those who didn't. That the more ardent gatherers and more conscientious hunters always gained more and were leaders in caves-ville. And so societies grew. It's actually still the same today, even though Liberals don't want to acknowledge the contributions of corporations who's funds provide grants and whose production provides the incomes that pay for the Governments ability to have money and pay it out. I listen to friends, liberal friends who are very intelligent, yet who buy into the misguided movie versions of capitalism and the evil in the hearts of CEO's and their suited minions. It is truly amazing how gullible the so-called academics must be when you listen to them talk of things business among themselves.

Apple is fighting a giant battle with fast growing Google Android devices, while former giant Dell is shrinking rapidly as competitors create more exciting products from new Microsoft Windows 8. And then, what about Microsoft? Tech stocks have always since the seventies been about making your dough during the hot window, and not betting on former giants making their way back to their dominating past. But, what about Microsoft? The success of their smart phone could in reality be their key.

A fairly new reader who is emerging as a significant research source sent along an email about the origins of well known sayings like "Bringing Home the Bacon". Our Human Interest Editor had written of that nearly 2,000 Tids ago. But one which she just sent, "Upper Crust" intrigued me. You may remember that in the 1500's a loaf off bread was divided up by social class, with the worker getting the burnt bottom, the families the soft middle and the wealthy the top of the loaf or "Upper Crust". My problem with this is that I prefer the burnt bottom, but as my teeth get older I gravitate towards the soft middle. So basically, the Rich don't know what they are missing. Or maybe they do, but society just won't let them enjoy it. Having money is missing a lot.

The President is intent with not working with anybody but himself. He has said his lawyers advise him not to go around the 14th Amendment on the debt ceiling and perhaps not issuing exec orders on guns in opposition to the 2nd. The point here his, the system is working, but he his obviously continuously looking for ways around the American way.

The Answer:
Ben Franklin is on the $100 and is the non-Prez on the highest denomiation today. The other is Alexander Hamilton on the $10. Chief Justice John Marshall appeared on the 1918 $500 bill.

I don't know what it means either.

But, it could mean turning the beautiful purple mountains majesty into an ugly all-consuming chasm.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Looking for air holes.



Today's Tids Issue 2,746
Opening Stuff:
Tina Fey still looks like you-know-who from up there near Russia. It seems that The Fey-Poehler duo were properly acclaimed as one of the best Ever Hosting comedians for an awards ceremony. Everybody across the land, except Anne Hathaway, thought they were hilarious. Or, if you were following on-line -- LOL. And they were.

It was quite the scene last night as 100's of smiling glitterati stood in rapturous applause for their guy Ben Affleck picking up the Best Director Award. These are the same smiling hypocrites who make up the vaunted Academy that denied him even a nomination of Best D for an Oscar.

The same glistening audience was even more manic  -- with stars twinkling in the eyes of actresses young and old, hoping to get into the final memoir of only the second President to be impeached -- when the ex-Prez strode on stage. This wasn't merely a proper reception for a former President, it was an orgasmic lovefest.

There is no question in this observers mind, that after watching the Clinton reaction, that 99% of H-Wood would vote for Hillary, work on her campaign and clamor to make a disparaging movie against any republican candidate.

The GM designers are doing quite a good job with the new look Buick. Now if the creatives can only get the suits to change that clunker of a Logo that always interrupts the visual flow, at least to this man's eyes.

You have to expect some serious infighting among Syrian Rebels as they near the finish line, when you consider the big prize at the end of the march is Chemical Weapons. Who is in control of the rebel leadership when it is all over has to be a major concern of countries on the outside looking in.

Too many chefs spend too much time trying to improve classic dishes that have been prefect for decades.

The Question:
Here's a question that is assured to incite controversy. Name the Top Ten Seinfeld Episodes

The Headlines:
--As Debt Ceiling Deadline Approaches, US Treasury Thinking Of Prioritizing Creditors And Paying On Cash Available Basis.
--Obama, Marco Rubio Present Doable Immigrant Reform Plans; 0-Man Expected To Ram His Through As Latest Crown Jewel In Legacy..
--350,000 Frenchmen Storm Paris In Protest Of Hollende Move To Legalize gay Marriage.
--Market Down As Weak American Express Report Clouds Financials.
--Mali Islamists Threaten To Retaliate At Heart Of France.
--Bad Blood Between 0-Man And Netanyahu Cloud US-Israel Relationship; Netty Looks Strong In Bid For Reelection.
--Armed Duo Hold 14 Hostages In LA Nordstrom; One Stabbed, One Raped; Twosome Nabbed.

Personally, I like the portrait of Princess Kate. But then I'm just an average  person who admires what he see's and not a critic trying to finding fault.

The more I view the Washington scene, the more I like Boehner. He has the most difficult job of manipulating and/or rousing support among varying breeds of rascals from both parties. On top of that, he has to deal with the inept Harry Ried from the Senate. You know the Senate, which under loony-man's leadership has failed to approve a budget for nearly four years. A Senate that now wants to eliminate the 60 vote to overrule a filibuster, thus allowing the Dems to further spend the naton into oblivion. And all of the arrows are aimed Boehner. Give me a break.

You have to figure that John Boehner and Amy Poehler have genes going back to the same spot in the world.

There was a less than important story on all of the network's nightly news shows about Whales escaping form the ice up north. I have to think that for thousands upon thousands of years, before the camera, before the internet, whales have been escaping from the ice. And frankly as smart as some human's think those mammals are. they just keep on going back each year to possible death. It's not unlike Americans re-electing bad representatives and wondering why things get worse. We are becoming whales trapped under the ice.

Stephen Spielberg looks as though he walks through life with his head permanently tilted in a perfect camera ready angle.

Speaking of politicians trapped under the ice, we have a host of them here in a RI gasping for air, and especially the revered president of the Senate, Teresa Paiva-Weed. She wrote a rather inane letter the other day to local newspapers about all of her ideas for getting RI back on track. But none of them ferreted out the real problem -- She, herself, Paiva-Weed and fellow henchmen in a State :Legislature owned by unions.

There are a host of new apps that enable a food shopper to use their smart phone to read bar-codes and determine if the particular food item is healthy for their specific diet. It is that potential for living with extreme guilt that will keep me from ever buying a smartphone.

The Cartoon "Non-Sequitor" on Saturday pictured a bar with this sign outside the door: "New Happy Hour: No debates on guns 5-7." Add to that, Gay Marriage.

Ok, I'm a Pats fan. And, I loved yesterday. But I'm really nervous about the next game against the tough Ravens. San Fran Should beat the Falcons., meaning that the Pats will have to go through two Harbaughs to win the Superbowl. And, if we beat the first one next Sunday, you can be sure they will team up to share intel. But, the real secret to the Pats potential success, is those mighty five-seven guys whose names are rarely mentioned -- The Offensive Line.

I wouldn't ever go to a Presidential Inauguration for the same reason I would never be seen at a NYC Times Square New Years Celebration. People.

So tell me again, why am I supposed to be sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for Lance Armstrong to talk to Oprah? To hear a man tell the truth for the first time, when he should have ten years ago. Or is it just to help the ratings of the OWN TV Network, which is basically on life support, gasping for air. Maybe Al Jessera would by it. What a world we live in.

I am pretty happy that Argo won the big award last night. My world lives.

The Answer:
OK, take a minute to read and then start screaming: 10. The Merv Griffen Show  9. The Pen (Jerry's Paent in Fla)  8. The Parking Garage  7. The Muffin Tops  6. The Junior Mint  5. The Pez Dispenser  4. The Fusilli Jerry  3. The Puffy Shirt  2. The Chinese Restaurant and # 1 The Soup Nazi.

The world is a better place when all of the arguing is over the best Seinfeld episode or which NFL team will win next week. Actually, there is no argument over the NFL Championships. It's Pats, Pats, Pats!

"Hey Buddy, who says?"
"I do!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Your Grandmother wears army shoes."

Friday, January 11, 2013

Tis a puzzlement.



Today's Tids Issue 2,745
Opening Stuff:
 
Wouldn't the sun always seem brighter if there wasn't some sneaky government thing lurking in the background? Wouldn't the flowers smell fresher if there was truth in Washington? Wouldn't the crystal blue skies, the deep azure ocean appear bluer if we were assured of walking in our own footsteps?

This guns' thing isn't really about helping to save the lives of future children, it's becoming a referendum on how far Obama can go with executive orders without being impeached for being subversive to the constitution. It's one of those Red Line things we hear so much about these days.

Statistically, 6 of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.

The Question:
Name five things that Oscar Nominee Jessica Chastain has done in the last 18 or so months.

The Headlines:
--Disappointing Wells-Fargo Reporting News Rubs Off On Other Financials And Stocks In General; Good Earnings Diminished By Decline In Net Interest Margin..
--Karzai Meeting With Prez; Troops The Discussion.
--Rangel, Libs Don't Like Lack Of Diversity In WH.
--Scientists say Gigantic Asteroid Will Not Hit Earth In 2036.
--Flu Vaccine Facing Shortages.
--Syria Rebs Seize Large Gov. Helicopter Base.
--Analysts Weighing Value Judgments For Apple Stock; Some Say Days Of Big Profits Off Of Gadgets As Competitors Multiply Are Over.
--450 Say They Were Assaulted As Children By Brit TV Star Jimmy Savile.

Lincoln received 12 nominations, leading me to some nit picking. I thought the opening scene was a little too precious and way too Hollywood. Daniel Day was good but his so-called Lincoln walk a little too exaggerated. And, why wouldn't they have picked an actor with a little more resonance in his voice. Like we have all heard Lincoln's voice. The voice belied his stature, and images of youth. At times Lewis looked more like an Irish Elf. I thought Sally Field was excellent, and I feared a Mary Todd explosion at any given moment. I liked the Congress scenes best. TL Jones, didn't say much, but when he walked onto the set, you expected something special.

Roger Goodell has way too much time on his hands.

And speaking of the uninformed meddlers in the game, how about that BCS computer that still has Notre Dame as Number 1. Alabama played and beat more top 25 teams than any other team in the country, and that computer gave it to ND based on strength of schedule. Give me a playoff system, fast! Please. Keep all non-playing humans out of the game.

And, that goes for all Little League sports too.

There seems to be more fighting and killing going on in Pakistan then even in places where their are wars. It is a worrisome thing for the world. Pakistan and the killings are all about instability and religious sects, and unlike Iran or Egypt or Syria or Afghanistan, Pakistan has the bomb. Instability. H-Bomb. Yikes. Is that a diplomatic term -- Yikes!

I was at an ATM the other day when a little old lady asked me to check her balance. So, I pushed her over.

Loopy Lew's signature looks like the top of a Twinkie. Does he have an addiction problem Michelle doesn't know about?

There's a second season looming for your TV screen. Included in the new shows are big screen Kevins. Kevin Bacon is a tarnished FBI Agent (Aren't all Gov agents in film or TV a bit tarnished for so-called reality these days) on the chase for a serial killer who has developed a cult following. The other Kevin, Spacy, is on TV but not in the usual manner, or is that usual suspects? You can get it on your tube only if you subscribe to Netflix. Don't ask me how it works, because discussions of such things like TV direct or through a computer makes my head hurt. Anyhow, the name of the show is House of Cards and it's about a crafty politician. Of the other new shows, I am looking forward to The Americans, which is about a1980's Russian spy duo living in Washington as everyday Americans with everyday American problems. History Channel will give us the Vikings which I will miss, and of the more promising comedy's, I'd give 1600 Penn a chance. Another in the deep dark underground comes from a South Park creator Ryan Quincy. It's about a rural youth coping with sexual frustration and small town frustration. Hopefully without access to guns.

Frankly, one of the better new shows for the season is the newly emerging plot for Person of Interest. I have always enjoyed the program, but the new twist seems to have a far deeper meaning. Last night it kept me guessing right up to the end, and then after it seemed to end, the guessing, and new tension began all over again.

In case you are looking at 2016 already, The Hill leads The Chunk (Christie) 44% to 42%.

The new slogan for the Fish market was a catchy phrase.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:
--The first of two good flicks this weekend is Zero Dark Thirty. It follows the agonizing, often frustrating work of CIA analyst Jessica Chastain in her ten year effort to track down Bin Laden. It is tense and realistic, and suspenseful even though you know the ending. On my list.
--In Gangster Squad, an off the books LA Detective group goes after the ruthless Mobster Mickey Cohen, who is well protected by both the police and politicians. While Dark Thirty is more publicized, this may be the best movie of the year so far, with excellent acting and gut wrenching angst in incredibly tense situations. The tension revolves around a very clever sting operation. Check it out.
--A Haunted House is the latest in Amityville Horror wannabees. It also includes bits of the Exorcist, Ghostbusters and Paranormal Activity. It;'s not bad and probably pretty good for fans of the genre.

In his dogged attempt to track down all of the possibilities that might lead to mindless killing of children in schools, Joe Biden forgot to ask for a sit down with Movie and TV execs.

That's like the Dems saying they've fixed Health Care without touching tort reform.

The Conscience: Chapter 12 continues.
   "I'm aware of the feud. I am not involved in the feud. It maybe just a hot headed Italian and a stubborn American southerner butting heads. Maybe they lost a bid to one another sometime over the years."
  She was a beautiful woman, and it wasn't the booze disguising the obvious. She was one who made men crumble at her feet. Like Aphrodite across the Aegean Sea. And, if I wasn't crack negotiator leaglly trained, she might be able to break me down. But, I wasn't buying her naivete.
   "So, you are just an innocent dupe sent out into battle?" She blushed little. It was the first time I saw her lose her countenance.
  She sipped and put the glass down, delicately on the soft cotton. "Don't underestimate this...cradulone, babbeo." Her eyes flared, obviously finding any mention of dupe, sucker within the same context of her personna distasteful.
   "I'm very sorry. I should have used a better word." I wasn't sorry at all because I learned that she has simplistic emotions, the kind of emotions that could lead to a feud.
   "We should go. I should go and you should stay and eat your food." She put her napkin on the table, hands grasping the edge, as if to push away.
   I raised my hand in a gentle motion. "Maybe I'm becoming irritable because of the explosion. Something is going horribly wrong and it affects the both of us. I'm here to negotiate and I know so little." I grabbed the Martini.
   "Maybe it is you who is the babbeo." She smiled and I put down my drink. Her body relaxed. Mine melted.

The Answer:
Jessica has been in The Help, Tree of Life, Take Shelter, Texas Killing Fields, Tar and Lawless. She also finished up two movies -- The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby and Good People (Both now in post production) and starred in the Broadway show Catherine Sloper. Busy girl.

Actually, I am only thinking of one thing right now -- The Pats game.

Love your weekend.

Do I have enough popcorn.

Oh yeah, and thanks to a persistent reader for some if the good humor today.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Runaway rudder.


Today's Tids Issue 2,744
Opening Stuff:

Who is Jack Lew, one of "O's" precious few. First above all, he is a most loyal Obama Lieutenant. He's a government guy, but with pretty good budgetary credentials having balanced the budget under Clinton, and running the OMB.  But first and foremost, he is a Government all the way kind of guy. So the question is, will he try to get a bloated government under control and make that the Obama legacy, or find a way to fund it so the increases don't look like additions to the debt thus assuring O's legacy as something for everyone except the successful. My heart is in a quandary over this nomination of a man who has successfully guided budgets by the man who likes Constitution skirting Executive orders.

Rick Benjamin was just named RI State Poet. In remarks, Governor Chafee-Lite, might say it is Right, It is the time, for more words that rhyme. Is it the first step in his new plan for the state's job recovery? The return to RI Greatness? Uh-oh...wait a minute...whats that? The State Legislature is going to regulate words, and add an additional 1% word tax over and above the 1% meals tax and regular old 7% sales tax. The Tids will now be published in invisible ink.

The Question:
Quick! Name the eight classic tokens for the Monopoly board game.

The Headlines:
--US Jobless New Claims Rise To 371K; Analysts Positive About Economy As China Shows Positive Movement Again; Worst Of Cliff Problem Behind Us.
--Tech Sector Leading Stocks Upward.
--Boston Declares Health Emergency On Flu Epidemic.
--US State Department Official Says Brit Pull-Out From EU Would Not Be In US Best Interest; Comment Ignites Squabble Within Cameron Conservative Party.
--New Study Says I in 15 Teens Attempts Suicide.
--Gifford Gun Control Group Out To Raise $20 Million To Elect Anti-Gun Congress In 2014.
--New York Gov Copping Out Urging Casinos As Solution To Bailing Out Bad Upstate Economy.

Cobweb Cleaner Department:
Every once ina while it's great to just stop using your mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k26nt3Y4cmg&feature=related

Hey! The Oscar nominations have just been announced. The Tids is already giving an Oscar for his role as funniest person announcing the Oscar nominations -- Seth MacFarlane

Oh, you want the rest? The big surprise is Beast of the Southern Wild and six year old actress Quvenzhane Wallis and the upset in the making, titillate the guilty hearts of libs pic may be Silver Linings Playbook. The other Best Pics are Zero Dark Thirty, Lincoln, Les Miz, Life of Pi, Amour, D'Jango Unchained and Argo. So, it's pleasing to know that are friends in Hollywood and packs of the hanger's-on are all-atwitter, quivering down the lane for facials, body surgery and mental analysis.

Wouldn't the NRA be better off if their spokes people didn't look and sound exactly like somebody you would definitely not like to be facing in a dark alley with a gun in their hands.

Just four games to pick...how hard can that be? Very hard! Seattle is on a roll and Atlanta has won more than any other team. I think that the Seahawks "D" will flummox Ryan. I like the way Green Bay looked last week, but San Fran is tough and at home. I'm going Aaron Rogers and the rejuvenated Clay Matthews led defense. Baltimore is inspired and played pretty well against Indy, but that Peyton Manning is as good as they come and the Denver defense is outstanding. I have to pick Denver, but this is one where I wouldn't be surprised by an upset. And now I'm back home where my beloveds will be facing the Texans in a rematch. I hate these rematches, especially in cases like this when the first meeting was a romp for my team. They were missing people then, but so were we. I have to go with the Patriots. My stomach just began what will become a 3 day churn. Oh...the pain.

When any governmental entity declares "Emergency" it is an automated signal to the US Treasury to start writing checks.

Do you get the impression from The National Plagiarist and current Anti-Gun Czar Biden that he and "O" will be sitting down to figure out how to get around the Constitution.

Sell your platinum. The WH says it will not mint coins as scheme to get around not raising debt ceiling. Actually, Jay Carney didn't specifically shoot down Nobel winner Krugman's platinum idea, but just said that the President is not considering a Plan B. The Prez doesn't send out pawns with misinformation to fool the press, right!

There is nothing better than allowing humans to become who they are.

The Ten Companies Hated Most are JC Penny (New strategy - Ugh), Dish (Channel dropping, and "Meanest In America to employees), T-Mobile, FaceBook (Privacy), Citigroup, RIM, American Airlines, Nokia, Sears and Hewlett Packard. Much of the dissatisfaction comes from mismanagement and bad customer relations or poor product development. The survey was a consensus of Wall Street analysts based on employee and consumer experiences. Hint: These are not popular stocks perhaps until the end of the year when bottom fishing becomes popular.

The Answer:
If you answer this 4 months from now you'll be wrong, because Hasbro is going to replace one of the 8 figures: Battleship, Top Hat, High Button Shoe, Thimble, Flat Iron, Race Car, Scottie Dog and Wheel Barrow. Note: the replacement won't be arbitrary as people will vote for their favorites and the bottom vote getter will be replaced by one of five -- helicopter, diamond ring, robot, cat or guitar. And, the people would vote for that too. I'm thinking the Battleship would go and the cat will replace it. Personally, I think the wheel barrow looks like the weakest of the old and I would vote for the robot.

It feels like America is lolling in the backyard. Aimless as 12 year old boy on summer vacation tossind a beat up baseball in the air. Marty and his friends on a street corner - "Wadda you want to do Marty?' "I don't know, waddaya want to do. I hear the commotion, but the  lightening and the thunder are still so many minutes apart that it really doesn't matter. I guess I'll just keep on doing what I do, and bring along an umbrella...just in case.