What election? Did I miss something?

Today's Tids Issue 3,723

For Utter, Unrestrained, Thorough Elation:

Seriously though, relief is in sight. On Wednesday the madness will end and we can settle in for two months of Christmas commercials. Deck the halls.

Puns from a reader is vying for the lead in the National lowest form of humor contest: “Never iron a four-leaf clover… you don’t want to press your luck.” Twas a good effort, but his winner was , “Are you cold? Go sit in the corner – it’s 90 degrees. “This may be lower than low, but it still rises above the presidential candidates.

Oh yeah, sign seen along the street in a small town: “Frog Parking Only. All Others Will Be Toad.” It gets worse!

I play golf mainly for exercise these days. It certainly isn’t for fun.

The Question:

Name a US President who became a member of the Confederate House of Representatives.  Bonus: What is the difference between a Pirate, Buccaneer, Corsair and Privateer?

The Headlines:

--Newest WikiLeaks Release Shows That Podesta Email Gives Support To All Of The Claims About The Clinton Foundation Corruption.

--Three Early Midnight Voting NH Towns Report First Results: Dixville Notch -- Hillary 4, Trump 2, Johnson 1; Harts Location – Hill 17, Trump 14, Johnson 3, Romney1, Bernie 1, Kasich 1; Millsville – Trump 16, Hill 4, Sanders 1.

--Boston Sports Reporters Confirm That Belichick Actually Wrote Trump The Letter He Read At NH Rally.

--Markets Up Decently.

--Top IS Recruiter Arrested In Germany.

--Tesla To begin Charging For Their Super Charging Network; Charging For Charging?

--Job Openings Rise As Hiring Slows.

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned my self around.

The voice was weird last night. First they crammed 20 acts into one night which wasn’t so bad, and then they had instant voting on them all, which wasn’t so good. Maybe it was great lesson to millennials about the insufficiencies of instant gratification. Also, most notable, in this season where they seem to be avoiding country singers, it appeared the country voters had not gone away. Now I like country best of all, and I liked some of the good ole’ boys who were saved.  But I said to myself during Adam’s time, if Josh is saved by voters, then you know Country is leading the way. A couple of my favorites lost out either because of the country effect, or because they had a bad night. A prime example of that is Kylie. One of the biggest miscues was showing Simone the back door. She was excellent last night, and looked like a pretty nice person too. Johnny One Note Brendan was picked over her. Bad choice by Adam. During the year I thought Myey and Alicia were loading up, putting together powerhouse teams. Last night, however, they didn’t look so hot, especially Miley’s big guns. Anybody can win this one, including Rhode Island’s own Billy Gilman. I personally Like Sundance. The prevailing “can’t miss” singer, We, was weak last night, but managed to survive. Good last good last night were Allie and Sureya, Darby seemed over her head, but Myley likes her. So now there are twelve, and country continues to live.

By the way. It doesn’t appear that the West Coast would have had a chance to vote, which could have been tough on a lot of candidates especially the Cal Folks. The Voice looks like it is run by the DNC. Is Darby related to Debbie WS?

I was particularly enjoying the Voice escape from the National harangue last night when all of a sudden appeared Hillary, dressed in mother of God pure and innocent white, seemingly with a halo backlighting her head, This newly transformed angel of the airways talked for about two minutes, but not to me. I immediately went to mute and hit the Free Cel button on my tablet. I may be hitting the mute button a lot for the next four years.

I’m in trouble. My reality check bounced.

The best thing I can say for Trump is that after digging a huge hole all by himself, he really worked hard to get out of it.

I look at the empty fields where pumpkins once grew, those fields of orange now laid bare. I see those near empty bins at supermarkets with scattered pumpkins that didn’t sell, and I’m thinking – why do we use all of that acreage to raise plants that crushed and mutilated, when millions around the world are starving.

I could be a pretty good liberal if knew how to be intolerant and narrow minded.

That sharp rise in the stock market yesterday may have drawn a lot more retired seniors Hill’s side. Nah, seniors are much to experienced and knowledgeable to be swayed by a momentary bonce in their pension portfolios. Oh yeah!

I didn’t vote for the approval of the Casino in Tiverton RI because I thought the advertising looked like a Public Employee Union money grab. Of course, I’ll tell my liberal friends that I voted against it because is unsavory and not representative of our intellectual culture. You have to know how to walk through the beds of hot coals.

There is not a lot of News coming in today. Even BBC is focusing on our election. Isn’t it interesting how wars seem to stop so combatants can watch politicians bludgeon each other? Or are all of the other countries watching to see if the winner will still send shiploads of taxpayer money to them?

A woman says that she’s still hot! It just comes in flashes now.

The Answer:

John Tyler was President, but when the nation divided, this native Virginian he became Rep in government of the Confederacy. Actually, prior to that, which some say makes him a Traitor, he brokered a meeting to bring the North and South together. Obviously, he failed. Bonus: Ok, Pirates like Blackbeard are basically thieves with boats. They do not discriminate when it comes to those they rob, kidnap or kill. They are independent and have no affiliation with any nation, and when they are caught hey are generally hung. Privateers were men and ships in the employ of a nation which was at war. This group, exemplified by Henry Morgan, have official sanction and protection from persecution, but must share here plunder with the nation sponsoring them. Buccaneers were mainly Spanish, originally a business designed sell smoked meat to passing ships. They saw bigger profits in raiding seacoast towns, became adroit fighters and marksmen and were often used as support for Privateer operations. Another frequent term for pirate type operations were groups called Corsairs. These were mainly Muslim Pirates who attacked all ships but Muslim ships and became famous for kidnapping French, American and English sailors who they sold into slavery during the Barratry wars. Corsairs became a derogatory term used by the English to slur French pirates.

Ban Pre-Shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again!

Badda-Bing!

PS, Thanks to anonymous.