Today's Tids Issue 4,496
Levity and Jocularity:
Ok, everybody, laugh!
Laugh like there isn’t a care in the world. We need it. As Will Rogers said: “Onions
can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable that can make you laugh.”
Did you hear about the blushing tomato who saw a salad dressing?
“I went to a book store
and asked the sales woman, ‘Where is the self-help department?’ She said if she
told me it would defeat the purpose.” --George Carlin
“When I come to
a fork in the road, I don’t waste time and energy wishing it were a spoon.” --Miss Piggy.
There’s a big difference
between a Cosmologist and a Cosmetologist. One stares into space and the other repairs your
face. –Tidster
Ban the Tidster!
I believe I can find kindness
just about anywhere, except in the hearts of meter maids.
The “Chip” Index
may be the best measure of the new economy. And we’re not talking about snack
eaters. Everything is beholden to the amazing feats that emanate from the magnificent
miniature microprocessors in devices everywhere. And lately the Chop makers are
cutting production because they over-estimated device sales. Various chip using
manufacturers will report varying degrees of success from year to year, but the
chip maker’s sales tells the whole story, is the reliable indication of the
broader mood of the buying public. Add chip watching to your economic indicator
machinery.
Like it or not,
the drumbeat for a Hillary candidacy is getting louder. Eliz is emerging as the
front runner for sure, and moderate Dems could be looking askance for a savior
from progressive insanity. And it doesn’t appear to be Amy Klobuchar!
There is no truth
to the rumor that the Hill has authorized drones to listen in on Trump phone
calls to Presidents of countries.
One of my favored food
combos is rich homemade chicken soup with Parmesan cheese.
The Question:
Who said: “If you spin an oriental man in a circle
three times, does he become disoriented? Who said: “They say housework can’t
kill you, but why take a chance?” Or “You know you’re old if they have discontinued
your blood type.”
The Headlines:
--Market Opens Upbeat; Trade Issues Cloud Clearly Defined
Predictions; China Offer To buy More American Agricultural Goods; China Willing
To Look At Opening Up For Small Business; Teen Spending Hits 8 Year Low.
--Turkey Troops Cross Border Into Syria Beginning
Military Offensive; Erdogan To Come To White House In Two Weeks.
--Trump Pal Graham Warns That Syria Withdrawal Could
Be Biggest Mistake of Presidency
--Trump Lawyer Says In Letter, White House Will Not Cooperate
With Congress; New NBC/WSJ Poll: 49% -- Do Not Impeach, Trump Should Remain;
43% -- Impeach And Remove; 47% -- Charges Are Serious; 44% Politically
Motivated; 51% Should Investigate.
--New Document Shows That Ukraine Began
Investigation Of Biden’s Son Well Before Trump Phone Call; Shows Factual Shift
I Time Line.
--60 Degree Temp Drop To Bring Heavy Snow To Upper Midwest.
--Cal Utilities Reducing Electricity As Fire Threats
Deepen.
Barnum Department:
You can tune in to a You Tube program that is all
about watching “Brad Pitt Eat”. Old PT would have loved the internet
I almost never read headlines
with the three words – Protesters, Shout, Down.
Some how Hillary
Clinton reminds me of a meter maid.
Did you see where Toys R’ Us
has relaunched in time for Christmas. They will be aided this time around by the
very Savvy Target retail operation. The toy makers have to be delirious, as the
big one stop retailer buyer is how they like to they sell.
Add a little white wine,
sliced chicken, spinach and sautéed sausage to the soup and Parmesan and it is
a taste sensation.
The first call to impeach Donald
J. Trump came on March 1 of 2017, less than two months after being inaugurated,
which of course was boycotted by angry mobs. And you wonder why I look suspiciously
at these preordained proceedings. It should not be about liking or not liking the
lightening rod President, but about caring about the stability of the office in
years to come. Impeachment is not an alternative voting procedure.
I was a bookkeeper
for ten years, but the local library wasn’t too happy about it.
Brown University
is known as an Institution of Higher learning. So I was surprised to learn that
a well-bred, sailboat racing champion female student majored In “Folk Lore”.
But that isn’t surprising considering that her father ran for US President with
a campaign slogan of, “Make America Metric.” Yes, it was our own Lincoln
Chafee. Who, is actually a pretty friendly guy.
By the way,
if you drive around old coastal towns and cities you will find that most of the
largest centuries old, wealthiest homes are on the high ground away from the sea.
Being cautious about the raging ocean isn’t something new.
I worry about putting creative
companies like J&J out of business through law suits.
A new Guest Inn
for people traveling with dogs just opened in town, in a pleasant quiet
neighborhood. Let’s hope the accommodations build for dogs who bark randomly
are well insulated.
Speaking of yapping,
impeachment talk is getting annoying and tedious. And very repetitious.
If by some means
progressives were able to take over this country, it would feel like we are
being run by meter maids. Your time is up, sucker.
Politicians make strange bedfellows,
and they all share the same bunk.” --Edgar A. Shoaff
We are in the rainy season all of a sudden
today. Last week it was perfectly sunny. You can be sure
that somebody will call it climate change. And on one hand they would be right,
but on the other, not too bright.
First rule of Holes:
If You are in one, stop digging.
The Answer:
The first laugh came from my favorite funny clever
person, George Carlin. The second two from the always hilarious Phyllis Diller.
If it weren’t’ for baseball,
most kid wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like. –Phyllis Diller
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