Leave you Tizzies behind.

Today's Tids Issue 4,593

Learn, Learn, Learn:

One of the great things about getting older*, is that you find out pretty quickly, if your eyes are open, that you never stop learning, adapting, being flexible. That you never stop being presented with wonderful challenges. And if find trouble with the newness, you may as well lock yourself in a closet of old ideas.

*Not that I am.

Of course, there are memories that are truly beautiful and meaningful, and never leave; memories that energize the heart and nourish the mind.

So basically, all of the happy life theories have loopholes.

Tomorrow is the Nevada Caucus. But, wait a minute. They have had early voting for three days now. Early voting in a caucus? Early voting is for a primary. So, this is basically a hybrid; a PrimCauc. You can’t trust anything when political operatives are involved.

And tomorrow is also George Washington’s Birthday. Happy Birthday George. How do things look to you up there? Not so hot, I would guess.

A water chess nut loves to play chess aboard ships. LOL. ROTFL!!

The Question:

What do you think is the favorite among Americans – smooth or chunky peanut butter? Bonus: Who is David Geffen?

The Headlines

--Bad News Has Stocks Falling; Investors Moving to Gold And Treasuries; PMI (Purchasing Managers Index) Feel Into Dangerous Territory Below 50 to 49.6 (Seriously below January 53.3.); Home Sales Declined Less Than Expected, But the Treasury Yield Fell More Than 7 Basic Points; Coronavirus Continues To Raise Nervous Fever; Fed Issues Waning On Coronavirus Effects.

--Coronavirus Death Rate Rises; Tends To Hit Men Harder.

--It’s Becoming More Likely that Dem Conventions Will Be Disputed; Bloomberg’s Odds At Winning Plummet After Debate.

--Buttigieg Hitting Hard At Bernie and Bloom.

--Former US Rep Dana Rohrabacher Says He Offered Trump Pardon To Assange For Proof Russia Didn’t Attack DNC.

--George Zimmerman Sues Liz and Pete For $250Mil Over Defamation of Character.

Tids Puns may be going downhill, at least to the uniformed pun absorber. I just read the first rule for becoming a “PunMaster”, sent to me by an exceptional puntificator. This may seem punitive, but rule number one states: “Accept no pun that is actually good. The true nature of a good pun is that it is so terrible that becomes good.” A Punmaster is an American hero – my duty, as an apprentice, being able to bring this gift to humanity. To make to Roll on the Floor Laughing (ROTFL.) bad puns. So I will have to reexamine all of those puns which I as a rank amateur pundit have rejected as not being good, when now I realize they were great.  

I read a headline this morning that said the police are looking for a suspect wearing Ya, Ya, Ya (Well, you know who I mean)…cap. As a diehard fan of the beloved Red Sox, I see all people wearing Ya, Ya caps as being suspect.

Is photography of internal organs the wave of the future or just a flash I the pancreas? Now that’s bad, but it could flower into greatness when expressed repeatedly by tulips. Yes, I’m getting worse.

Did you know that people who eat Chunky peanut butter are typically more extroverted, believe more in love at first sight, like going out on Saturday Night (To find more loves at first sight?) and more likely to have been skydiving. The smoothies like staying in on Saturday night and likely to arrive at work early, get stressed out more easily and are more likely to bail on plans.

The way the hedging word “likely” is used today may also mean there is a chance that it is unlikely. The moral; Don’t get hung up on Pop research.

Is there a more haunting more beautiful tune than Ave Maria?

BTW, how many of you got the answers correct, or close to correct, in yesterday’s Q about the Nile, Moon and Ocean Depth. Nobody’s talking

Lately I’ve been developing my puns in the darkroom. That’s why they all seem so negative. I think I’m catching on.

The hottest rumor now about the next stop for the great Tom Brady is going to the Tennessee Titans, It is expected that he will go because of his old pal, Mike Vrable, the coach wo could give Tom control of the offense. Which it is said he wants. Giselle would eb happy creating a line of Metro-Country outfits for Tom.

Reading Between the Lines Movie Reviews:

--Call of The Wild is a big outdoor picture about a good-hearted dog named Buck, who adapts to a disrupted life, and adventurous men based on Jack London’s well know novel of yore. The dog however is computer generated and it shows, But, the acting is good as is the story, So it could be enjoyable. I’m not sure I would go, but that’s me.

--I personally like movies based on Jane Austin stories, and Emma is one of them. And well done. It is a social lass satire and comedy about the misadventures of girl growing up, and all of the romantic missteps. I don’t think you can go wrong unless you miss bombs bursting and super heroes flying.  

The Answer:

Surprisingly to me, a crunchy guy, 49% prefer Smooth, 29% Crunchy and 22% both. 63% prefer eating the peanut butter with a spoon straight from the jar. Bonus: David Geffen was a great American record producer and much more. He started in the Mail Room* of The William Morris Talent Agency. Went into his own business and first represented Laura Nyro and Crosby, Stills and Nash. He started Asylum records with his partner, Mailroom bud, Eliot Roberts, primarily to get a recording contract for his client Jackson Brown, Asylum soon became known as a great place for artists rejected by bigger companies, including The Eagles, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, and Linda Ronstadt. (His merged Elektra/Asylum Label in 2004 became home base for emerging Hip-Hop artists.) Another of his record companies Geffen Records hit the street first with Donna Summer, and followed by a host of great’s including John Lennon. In the early 1990’s he went into film and later cofounded DreamWorks SKG with Stephen Spielberg and Jeffery Katzenberg. He’s rich and has pledged that all future earnings will go to charity.

*The Morris Agency required that all agent-to-be employees be a college grad. Geffen told them he graduated from UCLA. He didn’t go to college at all. But because he was in the mailroom he was able to intercept all letters form UCLA disclaiming him and ten change  it to a positive review.

Well, here we are again at Friday, folks.

Unfortunately, a Tids full of Bad jokes

Which could actually could turn good

Like chickpeas becoming edible food.

Did you learn anything today?

Have a great weekend, E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y!!