Today's Tids Issue
4,283
Merry Christmas One and All:
It’s
Christmas Eve, the night is still
There’s a pleasant glow beneath the hill.
At once we hear a new baby’s cry.
And suddenly, a chorus, from on high.
Now
I understand why so many people, get sick around this
time.
It’s from shopping in cold wind and icy rain.
Word
around the Arctic circle is that Santa is consulting with Mark
Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey for his annual Naughty and Nice List.
I
like
old colonial homes with sagging rooflines. With snow to the window sills and
icicles dripping down.
A
week or so ago the Tids International reporter
said we should keep an eye on the developing situation in Turkey where Erdogan had
basically declared war on the US. Now we learn that it was the US reaction to
that little reported event, including a phone call from Trump to Erd, that precipitated
the recall of US Syria troops and the resignation of Mattis and others. Trump is
in bed with Erdogan? That’s not a particular warming Christmas tale.
The
Question:
If you were a director casting the Christmas in
Bethlehem play, name all of the characters you would need to properly match the
description of the big event in the bible. Christmas
Bonus: What is traditionally the Message found in the Christmas Eve Tids?
The
Headlines:
--America Slows As The Beauty Of The Christmas Spirit
Brings Families and Fiends Together.
--On This Day of Light, Darkness Overwhelms
Indonesia As Hundreds Are Killed And Many More Thousands Injured In Krakatoa
Induced Tsunami.
--As US Leaves, Turkey Sends Reinforcements To Syria
Border Near Kurds; WH Says It Is Erdogan Fulfilling Promise To Wipe Out ISIS.
--Trump Forces Mattis To Step Down On Jan 1, Two Months
Earlier Than Announced By General; General’s Dismissal Could Cause Disruption
Among Mattis Fans In Pentagon.
--President Doesn’t Know What To Do About Falling Stock
Market; Street Could Be Losing Confidence In Admin Economic Policy.
--Mondelez And Kraft-Heinz In Finals For Campbell Soup
International Businesses; Auction Could Bring Soup Maker $3 Billion.
--Aquaman Sinks Mary P At Weekend Box-office.
--Philadelphia Eagles Last Second Comeback Win Over
Houston Pushes New England Into 2nd Bye Spot.
It
doesn’t feel like Christmas on a 50+ degree rainy day. But
then, Christmas is a lot more than weather.
A
physical therapist told me the other day that the biggest
cause behind the epidemic serious knee injuries in teens is the form of their high-speed
aggressive dancing. And moms don’t want their kids playing football. We live in
an era of misplaced hysteria.
President
Trump has hung out so many ornaments, that the media
often misses the bigger stories.
Did
you know that a White Castle veggie burger slider
contains about 48% more sodium than a White Castle cheeseburger slider? I compared
them in the supermarket on Friday. Official comparisons of all meat versus veggie
burgers show Veggie B’s on average with 155 more mg’s. I guess you have to do something
to make veggies taste good. But, in the Christmas spirit and in all fairness,
veggie burgers have more of some vitamins and minerals, and are lower in cholesterol
and sugars. But to get these advantages, you have to eat veggie-based
substitutes, and therein lies the problem. Eating them. Also, the tradeoff for
more vitamins is more sodium, a serious threat to good health. Take that from a
guy who eats barrels of salty snacks and worries about it all of the time.
Julie
Nixon and David Eisenhower celebrated tier 50th
wedding anniversary this past weekend. Love conquers politics.
Since
I don’t have “The Voice” to write about any longer, I
thought I’d fill that gap by getting back to that novel that ended suddenly one
day many moons ago. As old time Tidsters know, there have been four completed
novels in the Tids: Number One, “The
Tie that Binds”, is about a naïve computer guy who with a savvy computer woman
and his FBI girlfriend gal sucked into a do or die fight against terrorists in
Bath Maine. (I learned a lot about writing in this one and my relationship to characters
as I cried when I had to kill off one of my favorite people in the Fleece
department at LL Bean.) #2, “Through
the Same Eyes”, took place in another small New England town where a woman who
had it all, loved her husband and children, who was loved entirely by them, who
had the perfect career in finance, yet was drawn to a man entirely not like
her. She had to fight between her addictive need for him and her love of her
family. And also, a major conspiracy that she discovered during her flirtation.
Three, “Almost Near”, is about a woman
from the Cape Ann coastal area learning about who she is, having hidden herself
from past traumas through an emotional attachment to a town that never was. She
is in danger, her children are in danger, and she trusts the wrong people. The last of the completed novels, “The Conscience”,
opens at 1950’s rock concert in humid, deep south Mobile Alabama where our northern
hero and his two southern fraternity brothers have joined white southerners applauding
black entertainers like Fats, Chuck and Little. Our sad hero accidently kills a
coy southern girl when she pushes’ him away from protecting a young black teen
boy. After a look at the mental torture endured by this young college boy and his
dismay at a bigoted culture, the story moves forward 25 years where we find the
young boy now a lawyer with serious drinking problem. His life is in the sewer,
but out of the blue, one of the other kids from that regrettable evening in Alabama,
now a wealthy yacht builder, calls our favorite poor soul and offers him a lifesaving
big retainer. This develops into an international conspiracy with the fragile
lawyer stumbling long, fighting his demons, which over time seem to recede as
the case becomes more tangled and frightening and he finds a purpose in life. After the holidays, I’ll recap the story yet
to be finished, “The Parking Lot”, and then get on to finishing it.
The
shutdowns come and shutdowns go, and nothing happens. Yet
they are classic as an example of why so little gets done in a country of politics
for politics sake. My party versus your party.
I
decided to reinvigorate the novel idea today because when
I typed “Noel” it came out “Novel”! So that made it appear to an aging, confused
mind, properly appropriate for the season. A typo made me do it.
So,
you’re at a Christmas dinner and somebody says, “My personal
assistant is smarter than yours”. And of course, people disagree and begin spoon-flicking
mashed potatoes, tearing legs off turkeys and hurling them and pelting each other
with Cranbury missiles. But, stop the fighting! An IQ test has been given to the
four well-known assistants, Siri, Alexa, Cortana and Google Assistant. They all understood the queries: GA 100%, S –
99.6%, C – 99.4% and A – 99%. But, who gave the correct answers? That is the
real question. Well Google gave it 87.5% of the time. Siri was next at 74.6,
Alexa at 73.5 and Cortana at a dismal 63.4. Note: These were tested only with
the voices as they are attached to speakers -- Amazon Echo, Google Home, Apple
HomePod and Microsoft Invoke. The good news is that they all improved over the last
year, even Cortana.
The
Answer:
First you would need the Angel Gabriel and Mary who would
be spellbound by the angel telling her she was to bear a child named Jesus for
the good of all people. Next, Joseph would be visited by an angel and told not
to worry. And, of course a donkey strong. We need Bethlehem towns-people telling
the couple there were no rooms in town. And the innkeeper who finds a place for
them in the stable. And then Jesus, who was born in that manger. And, another
angel who announces the birth to shepherds, and the shepherds who run to the stable.
We would need a choir that would erupt in exultation at the time of the birth.
Finally, we need three Wise men and a conniving Herod. Christmas Bonus:
A
little boy named Linus, blanket in hand walks to the center
of the school stage. He looks confident. He begins, speaking softly: “And there
were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over
their flock by night. And, lo, an angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory
of the lord shown around them and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto
them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall
be to all people. For unto you is born on this day in the city of David a
Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And This a sign unto you. Ye shall find the babe
wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger. And suddenly with the angel
there was a multitude of heavenly host praising God. And saying, Glory to God
in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”
Linus
stopped and turned his head. “That’s what Christmas is all
about, Charlie Brown.”
I’m
always moved by the thought of that moment of perfectly
delivered truth in Christmas television. It never gets old. Before the first broadcast
on December 9 1965, the producers of the show, Bill Melendez and Lee Mendelson,
came to Charles Schultz and said, “It’s very dangerous for us to start talking
about religion now.” Schultz answered, “Bill, if we don’t, who will”.
Well,
that’s way too much Tidsing for a Christmas Eve issue. An
anagram for Tidsing is Tidings, as in Good ones for all of you.
Merry
Christmas E-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y!
Stay
with this below after it is finished for a pretty great
Hallelujah Chorus from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
And
thanks for letting me come into your home.
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