Today's Tids Issue 4,607
Still Laughing:
The difference between a (.) and a (?).
From yesterday’s headlines: “WHO says coronavirus is a pandemic.” “WHO says coronavirus
is a pandemic?”
My smart phone has become
a source of extreme irritation that could lead to depression. All notifications
either start with the word coronavirus, are about new lows for stocks or cancellations
of sporting events which I had been looking forward to as escapism from the
first two.
I never used to care much for puns,
but I must say that some of them have groan on me.
I think what
the market is telling us is to just sit and stay calm. Aggressive buying has
only led to false hope.
Here’s quote I thought pretty good
from Eleanor Roosevelt. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of
you if you realized how seldom they do.”
I’m tired of watching
TV news with that big fuzzy virus thing in the background.
The report said
I had Type A blood, but it was Type O.
The Question:
We are keeping people home, but where are all of
these cases of CV? Name the Top Ten states for cases of CV (according to latest
official tallies from Yesterday.)
The Headlines:
--Stocks To Color The Financial World Blue; CV Is The
Culprit; Investors Were Looking For More From Trump Speech.
--Trump Announces Banning Of Travel From Europe For
30 Days; US Citizens Returning Are Allowed after Screening; India Suspends Tourist
Visas.
--China Says “Coronavirus Cases Falling, It Is Past
Peak Of Disease.
--Bernie Remains Resolute About The Need For His Revolutionary
Causes And Will Move Forward; Says He Is Looking Forward To First One On One
Debate Between Two Leading Candidates; Joe Has 44 Point Lead Over Bennie In
Florida..
--Consensus Is That Bears Have Chased Away Bulls;
How Long Is The Question.
--NBA Postpones Season; NCAA Basketball Championships
Will be Played Without Fans.
--Airline Stocks Crushed After EuroBan; Pricess
ShipsToDicontiue Curises For onths..
--More And More Colleges Turning To Remote Classes
To Keep Masses Of Students Away Form Campuses.
--Tom Hanks And Wife Rita Wilson IN Isolation In
Australia After Testing Positive For CV.
--Skies Around LA Sunny Despite Virus.
As long as we keep
telling each other puns, we will be able to keep Artificial Intelligence machines
and devices confused and beholding unto us.
Just for your information,
Pandemic which sounds really threatening is not that the virus is worse, it
just means that cases have been found in enough countries to call an epidemic a
pandemic. It ‘s kind of a scorecard trick.
Putin says he is ok
with staying as Prez until 2036. If Tom Brady can do it, so can he. But, he won’t
do avocado ice cream.
Did you hear about the nurse
who brought a red magic marker to work just in case she had to draw blood?
A local State Representative
wants to pass a law allowing state officials to have tinted windows in their
cars (Currently banned) as safety precaution against prying eyes of angry constituents.
Hmmm. I always thought tinted windows on cars meant that something nefarious
was going on inside. Come to think about that, maybe it is representative of politicians.
Speaking of Government,
yesterday our governor closed just about everything in the state, events and crowd-based
occasions, except casinos, which just so happens to be a big source of income for
this state. Casinos, loaded with high risk elderly many of whom are their with oxygen
tanks.
What we have learned:
Bulls are subject to a virus.
Everybody knows
that the virus will dissipate and that the stocks will come back. The Dems just
hope it is after the elections.
I think we have 4 or 5
cases of CV in this state, all related to European travel, all well isolated. And
yet we cancelled a Saint Patrick’s Day parade which is outside in circulating
air.
Spell-Check
doesn’t understand puns.
The big dilemma seems
to be; New safeguards may forestall catching the virus, but will nybody have
enough money left to live when it is over.
Disposable hypodermic
needles are thrown out after a single use because they are shot.
The Answer:
Washington has 370 cases. next is NY with 218, Cal
with 168, Mass with 99 (70 form one Biotech company meeting) Texas with 83 and Colorado
at 35. Illinois, New Jersey, Fla and Georgia are 25, 23, 23, 22. If you add those
up, it comes to 1,066 of about 1210 USA cases for 9 states. That means that the
average for the other 40 states is about 3.6. A good proportion of these cases
are people form Wuhan, Italy and the Princesses just docked –people now in isolation
which added to totals in Cal, Texas and Georgia.
Engineers still have to
find solutions to problems and create new products; Clerks still have to keep
paper work up to date. Carpenters still have to nail together framing for
housing; police still have to be on the qui vive for criminals. And the list
goes on. Life around us is continuing.
When the hospital gives you one
of those skimpy gowns, you know the end is in sight.
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