Today's Tids Issue 3,201
Opening Stuff:
Doncha love those
times when you laugh so hard your stomach muscles hurt. When your eyes are
shut tight and you can’t stop the tears. And all you want to do is curl up on
the floor in the fetal position, and hope that the humor keeps on going because it feels so good. And
somebody around keeps dropping one-liners and more people laugh and it keeps
you going. Even as your read this, a smile crosses your lips and you imagine
others reading and dropping to their knees in uncontrollable laughter. After a
while it manages to subside and your body is drained in a state of orgasmic exhaustion.
And that’s about as good as it gets. It’s one of those situations that is
impossible to recreate at will. It just has to happen.
So many of us have become
so jaded, so skeptical that it is easy to believe that everything The Prez is
doing now about ISIS, Ebola et. al. is only to save the Dem led Senate. And,
that’s no laughing matter.
I just hate it when I
see the Stock Market down 450 points. The funny thing is that I and many saw
this coming, because it just had to be. It was a mixture of no more “Up” for a
lot of stocks and the need for big money people to churn. Especially the gold
and silver hawkers who have been inundating the TV screen with screaming commercials,
but really need “Bad” for their product to be good.
The talk is that the
Yield for treasuries is down. That must mean that the value of your
holdings is up. Right? I think the yield measurement of bonds is weird.
The Question:
Who are considered the Top Ten All Time Best Political
Comedians? Who makes the Top 10 List for Today?
The Headlines:
--Markets Open Sucking Again; Recovering Slightly at
Mid-Morning, Down Just 20 As Tids Hits The Street.
--Amazon To Create 80,000 Jobs For the Holidays.
--Putin Warns US Not To Blackmail Russia; Russia Air
Incursions Over Japan More Frequent As Japan Jets Scramble To Defend..
--ISIS Hold On Kobane Goes Fromn 40% To 20%; IS Militants
Retreating After Bombings.
--In A Series Of Attacks ISIS Militants Kill 38 Throughout
Baghdad; many Others Injured.
--New Unemployment Benefits Fall to Lowest Level In 14
Years.
--Second Nurse with Ebola Given Permission To Fly By CDC;
She Had Already Shown Symptoms.
--Actress Elizabeth Pena - 55, “Modern Family”, The Patriot”,
Dies from Drug OD.
--Blizzards, Avalanches In Nepal Mountains Kill 20 Climbers;
5 Others Missing.
The Pick-um
Department improved again last week with an 11-3-1 effort bringing the year
to 54-35-1 (61% -- We want 73%). So let’s start with the so called easier picks. Tonight
may npt be so easyas it seemed after all.
The Pats are down 3-4 key players, but maybe more important is the rain. The J-e-t-s
have put together a pretty good running game, while the Pats rely on the Brady
arm. I’m still going with my beloveds mainly because the NY team seems
confused. This is always a battle. The other easy picks should be Arizona over
Oakland and Cleveland (If they aren’t too high after last week) over Jax. I
think all of the rest of the games have the possibility to go either way. Miami
is tougher than the record, but Chi is home and has been resourceful - Chi.
Again, Carolina showed something last week, but GB is home and playing pretty
well -GB. The enigma teams of the week are Atlanta and Balt, and I’m picking
Balt. Two teams that were supposed to be better this year are the Washington Indigenous
and Tenn, but I like Tenn. Cinn was #1 on Power rankings 2 weeks ago, and Luck is
like all-world -- Indy at home. I like Buffalo, and they will rebound against
Minn. NO has been a disappointment and Detroit is better than their record --
Det at home. I have to pick San Diego at home over KC in another close battle.
Dallas is showing us something, and the Giants are up and down. Dallas will
love smashing the NY Giants around. Yikes! – SF at Denver. This is the game of
the week. Or, at least the hyped game of the week. Somehow, I have this feeling
that SF will beat the thin air and confuse Peyton. Probably a stupid pick.
Personally, I don’t
believe that the market is ready for a permanent cloud, yet.
There are a lot of opinions
on rice out there. One reader was quick to respond to yesterday’s “Q”
answer on rice with a fervent plea for “Rice-o-Roni as number 1! (At least in
salt content). Another of our world traveling connoisseurs says you can’t go wrong
with the tasty treats under the Zatarain label. And another says, if you don’t
have a 50 Pound bag of Calrose rice in your pantry, you ain’t livin’.
Do you think that
contributing to the growing lack of respect the people have for their leaders
are the political operatives, political cartoonists, and the irreverent comedians?
I have to tell you, that while humorous
I was somewhat disturbed by the Vaughn Meader belittling of the Kennedy family.
To me, it seemed to weaken the stature of the office. Too many that have
followed have taken comedic insults way beyond decency. Sometimes you have to step
back a bit from bitterness to keep the people united, which in the long run is
better for country, as long as we can keep maverick presidents from going berserk
with our constitution.
I often look at today’s
world of overzealous policing and wonder if I would have servived if it was
similar in my formative years. The cops used to help a wayward soul along, and
now they viciously cuff em’. There must be a happy medium somewhere in there.
Greg Gutfield, a
funny political commentator suggests that taxpayers be allowed to designate the
recipients of their taxes. I think it makes sense, a kind of voting with your pocketbook
thing. I believe that money would still go to a wide variety of uses, as a wide
as the variety of people paying taxes.
The Answer:
When I think of the All Time best list, I think of Will
Rogers first. And in my youth and later Bob Hope. You might squeeze Dave Barry
in there, or even late nighters Jay Leno and Letterman.. How about Andy Rooney
and PJ O’Rourke? And then there is a raft of impersonators from SNL. But these
icons are nowhere to be seen on the available all time lists, which has the
oldest, non current comedians as Lenny Bruce, Dick Gregory and Smothers
Brothers.. There rest are the same ole’, current wags below. Today’s Top Ten List is Bill Maher, Jon Stewart,
Lewis Black, George Carlin (?), Dennis Miller, DJ Hughley, Stephen Colbert,
Chris Rock, Janeane Garofalo and David Cross.
I was planning on
having a light and uplifting column today, but the stock market is gnawing
at my funny bone.
Have a great day everybody,
and don’t forget to wash behind your ears!
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