Ok…1, 2, 3 – Smile again.

Today's Tids Issue 3,479

Opening Stuff:

I hear that Elsie the Cow was creamated.

It will be one of those days, bad puns, and poems that don’t rhyme. Ideas that begin as inspired thoughts and turn into Convoluted opinions. Maybe that’s what happens when you see a slaughter like Wednesday.

Nothing wipes the crap away better than a good cold, northwest wind.

A good reader sends in a note about a neighbor, a woman, former FBI agent. Not just any agent but a specialist, on the bomb team. The note says the woman has been retired for about five years, and she’s still decompressing. You know, media and bombasts love to take pot shots at law enforcement, but they have little idea of the toll every day exposure to possible violent law breakers brings upon a man’s or woman’s body, and mind. The critics only see a person in uniform eating donuts or talking on a street corner. They seek out opportunities to magnify small errors, and misrepresent larger events. Yet law enforcement is called to situations mainly when something threatening is taking place. That’s what they know, something bad is happening. Be alert. They could get injured or killed. An innocent human could die if they misread the signs. A bomb could explode. It’s what we don’t see that takes the toll.

A friend just sent me a photo of a new word making the rounds out there – “Tidsoptimist”. It is defined as, “A person who’s habitually late because they think they have more time than they do.” I wonder if this is a suggestion about being at golf on time. Hmmm.

The Question:

Name the Top Ten most influential people…who never lived!

The Headlines:

--Interest rate Increase Looks like Sure Thing; Yellen Uses 211K Jobs Increase Yo Support decisions; Dow Hanging Tough; EuroStocks Confused After ECB Stimulus Appears Anemic To Many.

--CNN/ORC Poll: Trump Now Has 20 Point Lead In Repub Race; Trump 36%, Cruz 16%, Carson 14%, Rubio 12%.

--Senate Approves Republican Backed Bill Unraveling ObamaCare.

--0-Man Appoints Hamas And Islamic Sympathizer Rob Malley As Chief Advisor In The Counter Terrorist Campaign Against ISIS.

--Military Ordered to Open All Combat Jobs To Women.

--Kristen Russell Named To RI All-State Chorus.

--Putin Extends Amnesty To Allows Criminals And Oligarchs Ti bring Hidden Overseas Wealth back Home to Russia; Also Criticizes USA And Belittles Turkey.

--Pamela Anderson Named as Last Playboy Nude Centerfold.

The refs gave a game to Green Bay last night. On the other hand, Detroit should never have allowed a 61 yard touchdown pass with no time left on the clock. Besides, it screwed up the Tids picks.

Sign on a Butcher shop: “Not shopping here would be a Missed Steak”.

I see by this morning’s newspaper headlines that San Bernardino killer Farook had a bad childhood. Maybe we should lay the blame for all of these mass killings on child psychologists instead of guns.

Putin sounds like Russia’s version of Donald Trump.

One of my personal favorite conspiracy theories is that the Clinton Foundation is paying for the Trump campaign which will end with his going independent and essentially handing the Oval Office to the Hill.

Thomas Sowell: “Any politician who can be elected only by turning Americans against other Americans is too dangerous to be elected.”

I’ve met many business people who say the greatest marketing strategy nowadays is getting a meeting with congress. They can make a product an instant success by attaching an obscure regulation to a major bill. That’s more than likely what climate change is all about. Hey, most presidential henchmen are old ad guys.

You should always read the opinions of experts twice. Most of the time you’ll find that you know at least as much as them and often they are just plain wrong. All you have to do is read financially oriented web sights to see that opinions 180 degrees apart are the norm. It is the same in politics, entertainment and sports.

I think Spell-Check had two man cognacs after dinner last night.

I wonder if Hillary would be interested in buying my old promotional T-Shirt idea; “Tids make you smarter.”

I am finding more and more democrats who are having a hard time getting behind Hillary. One reason, honest Democrat observers say, is that many hard working Democrats are just getting tired of all the handouts.

The Parking Lot: Chapter 32 contiues…

(Note to new Tids subscribers: The Parking Lot is a Novel is serial form. This is probably too far a long for newcomers to get into. It is about a woman fighting a large, apparently criminal backed effort to build a casino in a pleasant seaside rural community. The woman is the descendent of original English founders and the Wampanoag Indians who controlled much of the land. She has the key to stop development and the casino forces are stopping at nothing to put her down. The story jumps between current days and the 16-1700’s of southeast New England.)

   The launch rumbled along the shore on a glassy lake surface. The bow pushed waters aside into steady streams that began to soothe Fred’s tortured mind. As he looked around trying to get a handle on the Joachim and Hicks lands, he found that he really didn’t know that much.

    The smoldering remains of Nancy’s home startled him back to reality which is where he didn’t want to be. “What happen here,” he blurted. Of course he knew. He turned to the back to see a smiling Jerry. Bastards, Fred thought.

    Mason moved the boat closer to the shore after they passed the Joachim/Hicks homestead. “Look for signs of activity,” he commanded Fred. Fred played along.

   “I think their land goes down this way south nearly a mile or so.” The launch continued its methodical journey. In and out of coves, slowing even stopping if Jerry yelled or Mason saw something. After they came to the lare camp near an outlet stream about a mile or so from the Joachim home, Mason asked. “What’s that?”

   “It’s what it says on the sign (He finished his sentence silently saying “Idiot” to himself), Camp Red Shoes.” H ensiled to himself. It’s been here for a hundred years and it’s a place where little rich boys learn about little rich girls. Nancy’s family has nothing to do with it.” He knew though, that they once owned the land and that it may have been started by an old relative. He was beginning to appreciate the unassuming character of the old Nancy.  “She wouldn’t be here.” Mason looked back at Jerry how nodded. Mason swung the wheel around and revved up the engine. Soon they were speeding out towards the three islands.

Reading Between the Lines movie Reviews:

--It’s a pretty mediocre week when you consider #1 is Krampus. This is a Christmas story that focus on demonic action, terror, violence and drugs, and the biggest horror of all, not believing in Santa or Christmas. It’s about a kid Max in a dysfunctional family who turns his back on the festive spirit only to see literally all hell break loose. Beloved Christmas icons take on a new monstrous life of their own. Frankly, I’m tired of dysfunctional family movies.

--Letters is about the very special life of Mother Teresa as told through her personal letters where she expresses her needs and doubts, her isolation and feeling of abandonment by God. Critic hated it, Consumers think it is Ok.

 --Maggie Smith (my grandmothers name BTW) plays a mysterious woman in a quirky movie about a man who wakes one day to find a woman living in a yellow van parked in his driveway. The Lady In The Van is about the man’s relationship with this woman who’s “temporary” visit lasts fifteen years. Sounds like few tugs on heart strings here.

The Answer:

 Ok. For starters, how about at #10 Santa Claus! (Of course he was patterned after a Saint named Nicholas). Then at #9 we have Barbie followed by Robin Hood, Cowboys, Marlboro Man, Rosie the Riveter, Daedalous and Icarus, The Little Engine that Could, Big brother and Romeo and Juliet. Daedalous and Icarus? Yes, because their ancient tale inspires dreams of flight by man. How about Captain Kirk or Annie?

(Thanks to the daily comic strips for giving me something to steal.)

The guy who sent me “Tidsoptimist” a few minutes ago must be waiting for his morning mess!

Have a great weekend E-v-e-r-b-o-d-y!