Did ja hear…

Today's Tids Issue #4,075

For a chuckle or two:

I sent myself a chicken by FedEx and an egg by UPS. I wanted to see which came first.

I never realized how much my life is organized by habit until somebody moves something.

If there is one thing Jimmy Kimmel proved Sunday was that you don’t have to be funny to get laughs before a gaggle of celebrities. His biggest punch line of the night, always producing uproarious laughter, was “Christopher Plummer”! Occasionally, just to get the lavish guests off track, he would drift to another favorite, Meryl Streep, and the coiffed and bangled audience would be rolling on the floor maniacally. I think getting laughs at a celebrity occasion is pretty simple as most of the Hollywood crowd would never want to be seen as not getting a joke. “Christopher Plummer!” Oh wow, what a zany.

The deplorables have been upgraded by none other than social activist Cornel West who dubbed Trump and followers – No Nothing Narcissists. Yikes! West, at local speech yesterday, also added something which makes a lot of sense to me – Identity politics suck. That’s voting for a person by gender, race or ethnicity because you are of that gender, race or ethnicity. It is probably the worst way to elect good representation and leadership.

The Question:

What was the name of the Pope who excommunicated Henry the VIII?

The Headlines:

--Cohn Resignation Hammering Stocks At Opening; Oil Prices Fall On Tarff War Fears.

--Trump Seems To Lighten Up On Tough Tariff Stance; EU Vows To fight US.

--Clinton Missouri Police Officer 18^th In 2018 To Be Killed In Response To Call For Help.

--East Coast Prepares Another Nor’Easter.

--In Surprise, Dems Join Repub Effort To Roll back Dodd-Frank.

--Trump DoJ Sues California For Unconstitutional Immigration Laws And Actions.

A guy came up to me the other day and said, “I have eleven toes. I looked back and said, “That’s an odd collection.”

Christopher Plummer! Haha he-he, har har har…

The all-time “Cake and eat it too” Princess might just be former Mayor of Nashville, the very attractive, Meghan Barry. She actually did have it all, but now she has nothing after it was discovered that not only was she, a married woman, having an intense fling with her security chief, but had embezzled $10 K from the City treasury to finance it. What makes people so stupid?

Gary Cohn, an adult in the White House, will be missed.

In 1980 in America, it took 10.5 manhours to produce a ton of steel. Today it takes 1.4 manhours to produce a ton of steel. And because of it, the American steel companies are very profitable. It doesn’t look like steel tariffs are going to produce a mass of jobs. At least, as long as Americans continue to produce scrap.

Food delivery apps could have a serious negative effect on the restaurant business. They are very acceptable to people who don’t like to cook. Now they just have to sway the peeps who don’t like to clean up after the meal.

So, a guy goes into restaurant on Christmas morning and orders Eggs Benedict. After a short wait, the eggs arrive served on a hub cap. The diner asks the waiter, “Why the hubcap?” The waiter sings in return, There’s no place like chrome for the hollandaise.”

Christopher Plummer!

We are talking about China and why we need tariffs to protect America from their dumping. I really don’t believe China cares. Really. They seem to do their own thing, regardless. They have so much on their plate that is proactive, that they may not in the future even need a robust US economy to help further their growth. They need a good idea, they just hack into one of our corporate or government secret computer installations. But, more so, they are making their own world. Their westward expansion is at a fever pitch with new railroads and high speed thruways linking the landlocked vast western China (And, other Asian countries) to deep water ports in Pakistan. In fact the seaport they have built in that country’s Gwadar is already one of the largest transshipment cargo facilities in the world! China is obviously controlling the growth of their own future, and now with Xi looking to be at the helm for probably at least another 20 years, the continuity of big idea expansion should not be interrupted. When we think inward, we may miss out on opportunities grasped by countries thinking forward.

So, did you hear about the scientist who threw a clone out of the 14th floor window after clone called him a phony asshole? The police arrested the scientist for making an obscene clone fall!

The Answer:

Pope Clement VII threatened Henry with excommunication after Catherine of Aragon told him that hubby Henry was fooling around with, and wanted to marry, Anne Boleyn. Henry married her, and was excommunicated. Henry started the Anglican church. Clement was Known as “The Most unfortunate of Popes”. He not only lost the English church, but inherited the fast-growing Martin Luthor protestant Reformation. He also got caught in the middle of a dispute but also a dispute between to powerful kings Charles V and Francis I of France. Asked to choose sides, he didn’t win. Actually, Clement was considered a good guy and was quite intelligent. Aside from the political quagmire of his reign, he was the guy who commissioned Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel…and much more – like approving Nicolaus Copernicus theory that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

I watch people’s faces turn red with their incredibly intense anti Trump rants. I have decided that the he world is better with stupid jokes.

Christopher Plummer!