UFO’s, Outhouses and Pelosi.

Today's Tids Issue 4,081

For Moderates:

Hey mathematicians, this is your day. Yes, it is Pi-Day – 3.14.

It is still too early to officially call the Pennsylvania special election of last night (3,600 Absentee ballots out), but I believe that Conor Lamb is the kind of sensible candidate real Democrats have been seeking for a long time. The labeling of people for political gain has gone too far, where the focus is mainly on how far right or left a group may be. Actually, the true US majority is probably in the middle. Ladd, at least in his proclamations, is a centrist, and many of the traditional Dems are that too. Maybe even Dems are getting concerned about the takeover of their party by the outspoken progressives. Maybe Ladd is an answer for them, and a good sign that perhaps Americans are regaining rationality. As he said, I’m tired of watching people shout at each other on TV. I think many Americans feel the same way.

That said, I am still an avowed Republican who prefers common decency over manufactured chaos.

I remember when snow storms were times to make points with customers by showing up for meeting’s in a blizzard. We used to take storms in stride but now they are over-sensationalized to the point that they make HG Wells War of the Worlds look like a child’s game. I think the weather people are in cahoots with the Public Employees Unions. Let’s see. Generous vacations, accruable sick days, and if all goes well, a couple of weeks off for snow time.

The eyes of the sports world are firmly fixed upon NFL free agency while in warm locations MLB teams are putting together hoped for championship teams in anonymity. I have to work to find a good baseball story, and it makes me mad.

The Question:

How much does an ounce of saffron cost? Bonus: Who was the first POTUS ever to pay income taxes?

The Headlines:

--Stocks Rise At Opening As Dollar Declines; Broadcom Ends Takeover Bid; Retails sales Fall For 3rd Straight Month, Including Big Ticket Items.

--Equifax Exec Charged With Insider Trading After Data Breach.

--Brilliant Steven Hawking Dead At 75; Tributes Pour In.

--Britain Ousts 23 Russian Diplomats For Poisoning Episode.

--Another Russian, Nikolai Glushkov, With Ties To Oligarchs And Other Murdered Ex-Russians Found Dead In His London Apartment.

--Lamb Now Declared Apparent Winner, But More Counting Of Absentee Ballots Coming; Repubs Hiding Edginess Over Loss In So-Called Safe District.

--Merkel Elected To Fourth Term As German Chancellor; Trump Sends Good Wishes.

--Larry Kudlow Seems To Have Inside Track To Replace Gary Cohn.

--Wal-Mart Announces Home Grocery Delivery For 100 US Cities.

--NFL Free Agency Begins Today At 4:00PM; NE Pats Losing Key Players Lewis, Amendola, Butler And Solder.

The Irish are a great bunch of human beings, but they have never been particularly known for their culinary achievements. Here’s a little St. Pat’s day recipe that looks very Irish and pretty good to me – Whiskey-Glazed Cod. Coat a ¾ fillet of cod with ¼ cp of whole wheat breadcrumbs, and salt and pepper. Sauté in olive oil sprayed non-stick pan, about 3-4 minutes per side depending upon thickness of fillet. Whisk together ¼ cup mayo, 1 tbs fresh lemon juice and two tbs of Irish whiskey. Spoon over hot Cod and top with chopped chives. Served with boiled potatoes and broccoli tossed together in olive oil and S&P. Begorra!

For dessert, wait for Monday and Saint Joseph’s day when delightful Italian Zepoles’ abound.

It was first proven by Obama, and now with Trump, that local districts do care more about who they are electing than about which politician from inside the beltway comes visiting.

I’m really good at being lazy. In fact, my doctor even said that if I continue being this lazy I should expect atrophy

I can see in the eyes of Fox News Reporter Shepherd Smith that he holds deep hatred in his heart for the White House. I just can’t tell if it is for The President or Sarah Sanders.

Tiger Woods is really back, at least in the hearts of his rabid followers. The odds for the Masters Tournament are shifting rapidly with every forty-foot putt he makes. Dustin Johnson leads the oddsmaker’s list at 5-2. Next is Jorden Spieth tied with, yes, Tiger Woods at 9-1. The rest of the top ten are Justin Thomas at 10-1 and Jason Day (14-1). Phil Michelson is at 15-1, and Jon Rahm, Justin Rose and Rory McIlroy are at 16-1. Tied for tenth is Bubba Watson and Ricky Fowler at 20-1. Paul Casey is 11 at 22-1. Last years’s Champ Sergio Garcia is 12 at 28-1.

The Newspapers maybe in that ever-declining concentric circle mode. They are still writing professionally as they have in the past, but the forces of physics is working against them. As subscriptions fall due to the rise in tech, it is harder to find low tech delivery services that can make a living delivering fewer papers over wider areas. Late deliveries cause subscription cancellations, and… You get the picture.

Some days it’s hard to tell if a witch is wicked, or just in a bad mood.

Mike Pompeo, they say, is really smart. But to me he looks a little gruff for heading up the diplomacy corps.

In the late 1820’s, President Monroe authorized building a state-of-the-art series of military forts to guard key seaports on the East Coast. It took about 30 years to build them, and by the time they opened, they were obsolete. I look at this “Wall” scheme, and obsolete is the word that comes to mind.

Those seaport forts would have been little use against UFO’s which conceivably could have been flying around South Carolina or Rhode Island in days gone by. The US Navy just released 2015 tapes taken by navy pilots showing a weird flying machine on their infra-red scope – Wingless, tailless and very fast. The way politics looks today, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that some of the UFO’s left off passengers.

I believe that the most difficult final category on Wheel of Fortune is “Place”. Your mind quickly moves to an identifiable name place, but it usually ends up as something like “nook under stairway” or ‘Backyard dog bone hole.”

That death of the dog on United Airlines was really sad. But carrying pets in cabins for humans is a a problem. Maybe we need a Animal Express airline – Pet Jet.

Kids sports these days are looking a lot like organized racketeering, costing parents thousands a year.

Did you happen to notice that in his farewell remarks yesterday, Tillerson never mentioned the name of President Trump. It was not a happy ending at all.

Just when you think you have seen it all, you learn that new bill has been introduced in RI to ban outhouses! Yes, it appears one family’s outhouse was in “whiffing” distance of a neighbor and he now has his local State rep proposing a bill that would ban the tried and true rest shed. Yes, some old stuff may have had its day, but you appreciate what didn’t went, when you have to go.

How about Lamb saying that he will not follow Nancy P if elected. That is also unique running against an incumbent power broker. He did not say, I will not get within whiffing distance of the minority leader.

Things you don’t want to do first, Department:

Elon Musk announced that it is very likely that the first passengers to Mars will die. But, he adds, it will be exciting for survivors. How great is that.

I am really tired of Politically Correct Auto-Correct. Every time I sign my name “Dick”, it changes it to “Duck”.  I think all of the Dicks should march on Washington. Which would be quite a change.

Will students have to make up “Walk Out” Days just as they have to make up Snow days?

The Answer:

An ounce of Saffron costs $500. Pinch me I must be dreaming.  Bonus: Warren Harding was the first Prez to pay the IRS -- $17,990 taxes on $75K income! No wonder he got mixed up in Teapot Dome.

Somehow, weird, smelly and political just seem to go together.