Today's Tids Issue 2,927
Opening Stuff:

Pictures of newly minted American Citizens, with smiles glistening like sunbeams off of rippling ocean waters, appear much brighter today against the backdrop of illegal aliens blackening the generous but fair immigration laws of the USA. My heart actually leaps a bit when see people so happy, people who have come upon our wave pounded shores and wind swept plains honestly, from the entire world -- China, Eastern Europe, Pacific Islands, and yes Mexico.

Actually, I believe most politicians are honest. They have just become slaves to a system that has become dishonest.

The Question:
Since the untimely death of George Carlin, Steve Wright could be the guy to rock my funny bone, delivering my favorite kind of humor. See if you can think of three funny lines from this man's curious brain.

The Headlines:
--WS Awaits "Godot" Bernanke Expected To Announce Slowing Of Economic Stimulus Welfare Checks; Tapering Affect May be Already Factored Into Stock Prices..
--Newly Embodened Assad Attacks Rebel Strongholds With Dominant Air Power.
--President Presses Message On Raising Debt.
--Iran's Khamenei Suggests New Willingness To Explore Negotiated Settlement On Nuke Program.
--Brazil Prez Cancels White House Visit.
--Russia Refuses To Agree To Force Against Assad.
--Super Ratings Giant Mad Men Extended For Another Year Into 2015.
--Mexico Tourists Stranded In Acapulco After Hurricane Rampages Through Popular Resort.

The Final Six on America's Got Talent did their thing last night, and now the Tids TV Critic has to pick winners, when there are numerous possibilities, nuances and permutations. The only clear loser was Judge Howie Mandel. Will the voters be guided by the talent or their own personal affinities. For instance, I really like country music, and Jimmy Rose appeals to me and I'm sure a large voting block from the hinterlands (Hinterlands to NYC'ers, but mainstream for most of America). Taylor Williamson has emerged as a crowd favorite and his interplay with Heidi Klum is priceless (BTW, Heidi has emerged and is appearing to me to be a a pretty nice person) But, I thought TW's first act was annoying, and his second round of jokes were just Ok. But, he captivates, connects, and his post act banter is funny. Collins Key has also grown into a personality who can hold a giant audience and bewilder the observers. I sit up when he comes on because he almost always delivers something new and mystifying. Cami Bradley is a star, and she was excellent last night. Her piano playing is wonderful and her inventiveness with song arrangements is refreshing. Forte rouses audiences, and I have been one of the rousees since day one. But last night I found myself growing tired of the performance even as they brought down the house. And then there is Kenichi. Wow, wow, wow! This guy is not only an amazing performer but he creates, choreographs and produces technological wonders. I have to vote for him as number one. But I believe that Williamson or Forte could beat him out. Cami may be the best of all, but I'm not sure she connects. It will be very close. And when it's over tonight, perhaps it will be country boy Jimmy Rose who saunters on stage to get the Million.. and Howie will jump off of 30 Rock.

As I look around the political landscape I'm seeing Governor Christie as the best choice for Repubs n 2016. As much as I would like to turn the country around with a brash, young Repub conservative, or even Libertarian, it ain't gonna happen. You have to edge the country around, and Christie is the gutsy kind of guy who can do it. That plus the fact that he has shown an affinity for the people regardless of political party, makes him a good choice for a true American President. A president for these times of deep divide. In America, all of the people count regardless of whether or not you like them. When a country is divided so deeply as we are today, the President has to come to an agreement at the bottom of the chasm and work his way up to the top. Christie has the conservative genes, and the ameliorableness (When he's not bashing some foe around) to restore greatness here and abroad.

The increasing costs of flood insurance will change the character of US coast lines much faster than global warming.

Add Brazil to the growing list of countries now anti-America sine the Great Unifyer became President. Brazil, a country bigger than the US, a leader in our sister western continent, a very strong manufacturing economy is joining all of those other countries where President Obama said he would restore respect for American greatness.

Wouldn't it be ironic if Green"Peace" started WWIII? Yesterday this zealous group's ice breaker closed in on a Russian Arctic oil platform, but was repelled by gunfire from a Russian Coast Guard ship. This was after two GP'ers scaled the platform only to be arrested for obvious illegal entry. Crazy.

I see where Joe Biden's 26 year old niece Caroline Biden bashed a NYC policemen during a dispute she was having with her roommate. What are the odds that she said, "Don't you know who I am?"

Follow the Millennials, Department:
Five years after the collapse of Lehman Brothers, financial leaders from the "Millennial Generation" are urging fellow millennials to "Embrace the hyper-connected, fully-integrated, socially-networked, crowd-sourced Millenial Generation." That's a mouthful that generally means don't invest the way your parents do and did, don't wait for Wall Street to awaken to morality, don't wait for the Government reform the financial world to make it safe. Connect! The millennials are saving more than any other generation and they don't trust Wall Street at all. They will be oprerating quietly around and behind the establishment and accepting the guidance of huge numbers of knowledgeable "Friends" anonymous but sucessful with money management. And yes, they would be firing their parents financial advisors. So, add this to another ingrediant that may be confusing traditional investing guidelines.

Are sports beginning to price themselves out of the reach of many. The Red Sox are currently lovable and playing amazingly well, but the fans aren't coming back to buy the most expensive seats in Baseball the way they used to. Golf courses are closing and cutting rates. Even the most attended sport inthe world, NFL football, is down again. Shrinking average wages are catching up with hard core fans, and more importantly new generations are focusing the spotlight on new activities and sports. Buy a cute colorful spandex outfit and ride a bike in the woods for free. Paddle a surfboard for hours. "Who's on first?" Fagetaboutit. Play a football game on your smartphone.

Oh yeah, it was just announced the the premium seats for the NYC Super Bowl are being set at $2,500! Can you say Goldman Sachs?

Patience Pays: Stewart Horejsi bought 40 shares of Berkshire-Hathaway in 1980. He added a little more every couple of years over the years. Today he is worth about $1.1 billion! Buying and holding works.

The Answer:
I hope you're laughing when it's over. 1. Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 2. I'd  kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 3. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good. 4. Ok, so what's the speed of dark? 5. How can you tell when you have run out of invisible ink? 6. Depression is merel anger without enthusiasm. 7. I intend to live forever. So far, so good. 8. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 9. The hardness of butter is proportional to the softness of bread. And...#10... The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard!

We may laugh at times the way kids are buried in smart phones, giving away their personal info to strangers, but without question social connectivity will be the underlying force in the word -- financially, culturally, morally and economically.

And in closing, one more from Steven Wright. "If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work."