How far is up?

Today's Tids Issue 3,917

For caution?:

I gotta tell you, no matter how down you may feel, looking into a little puppy’s eyes just has to energize your heart, vitalize your brain and anesthetize your tension

Three lashes with a wet noodle! Say two Our Fathers and Three Hail Mary’s… Yes I have gone off the deep end, really off, and await my punishments. Yesterday, I found a new low in typo-land. Brilliant reasoning laid low by sloppy editing. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa. “It is only your sins that will be remembered.” I’m doomed.

Happy Birthday Tom Brady. Hope you get a nice big present at the end of the year. Shoot me – I’m a homer, and proud of it.

So, the Dow is at 22,000 and everybody s wondering, “What’s next?” It is certainly at a point where we might find a lot of people thinking of cashing in. Yet, as you look around the earnings reports, good profits and estimates beaten were more the norm. Analysts are looking for areas of slowing activity, but there just aren’t that many aneurysms showing up on their XRay machines.

One area of concern may be those companies heavy in old fashioned food products. The newbie foodies on the block are getting shelf space.

I got out of Wells Fargo stock a while back because I just don’t like supporting blatantly unethical companies. As you all may have read after the fines for the immense fake accounts scandal, the Execs said all of the right things about how sorry they were and how it would never happen again. You know, like a lot of execs who think people actually believe what they say, reading scripts prepared by Human Resources or legal teams. Well W-F is facing another new low – this time for unauthorized insurance purchases added to car costs. Now it is not just the government after them, lawyers are rounding up lawsuits. Isn’t life easier, for everybody, when you are honest.

By the way, I don’t consider companies that sell Cheetos or Kentucky Fried Chicken unethical

The Question:

Tony Bennett thrives, at least I think I still saw him standing upright the last time I looked. But, what was his first really big hit?

The Headlines:

--Dow Closes At 22,000.

--Politicians Taking Sides As Trump And Senators Introduce New Merit Based Immigration Reform Plan Based On Reducing Quotas For Unskilled Workers.

--Justice Department To Take On College Admission’s Affirmative Action Programs; Asians Say Qualified Students Being Bypassed In Favor Of Less Qualified To fill Racial, Ethnic Quotas.

--Amazon Huge Job Fare Is Positive News Across The Country.

--Trump Tells Military Leadership That US Is Losing Afghan War.

--Congress Quietly Scrambling To Fix ObamaCare.

--Sessions Staying On Job; Lawmakers Look To Protect Mueller From Firing.

--Teen Who Talked Boyfriend Into Committing Suicide To be Sentenced Today

Last night I went to one of my favorite restaurants. Their menu is a rarity these days. I understood all of the words describing the dishes and ingredients.

Who says there isn’t a market for food gone by? Well maybe not for a lot of people as the giant food company Mondelez is experiencing stagnation with its brands like Ritz crackers and Oreos. Unless they can put avocado filling in the Oreos they may be as doomed as typoboy.

If you can properly pronounce Pamplemousse, Moules, Gaufres, Beinet, Aubergine or Amuse Bouche instead of the commonplace Grapefruit, Mussles and Fries, Hot Donuts, Eggplant or Hors d’oeuvres respectively, then you are on your way to be accepted in the most sanctified of foodie kitchens. Ah, what a few words will do for your social image

There are many ways to disguise who you are, like the above. But who would want to not be themselves. Yet, there is even more help on the way for those who would give up their personality. Apparently you can buy an “Echo” friendly camera. It enables you to look fashionably chic. You put on your morning togs, tell Alexa to take a picture. Then ask, “Alexa, how do I look?” The disembodied voice then begins to pick apart your morning choices. How crazy is that? Who needs it before the daily battles? I like my wardrobes, picked out by malware

Why do we need an immigration plan reform when illegal immigration is already illegal? How much more illegal can it get.

After my mea culpa above I just wonder how many readers just read this edition looking for typos.

The Answer:

TB’s first big hit was in 1951, “Because of You”, and I remember it well. His top ten is listed as “I left my heart in San Francisco”, “Shadow of your Smile”, Stranger in Paradise”, “Because of you”, “The Good Life” and “The Best yet to come” with Diana Kroll. The last four are “Rags to Riches”, “Smile”, “Blue Velvet” and “In the Middle of an Island”.

Find a puppy to cuddle, and smile.