Settling In.

Tpday's Tids Issue 4,372

Above the Clouds:

I’d like to say that this morning is beautiful because the sun is shining brightly. It’s not. I’d like to say the flowers are sprightly and calming, but they are drooping and soggy. I’d like to say that my body is alive and energetic in crystal clear air. But it’s foggy and thick. I’d like to say that each day is a wonderful new experience regardless of weather and circumstances. And, by God, it is. So, I’ll say it. Welcome to a beautiful new day! Find your sun.

Misquoting is the new national pastime.

I always enjoy my Good Friday Tids. It proves to me that life can be meaningful without politicians.

Ex-Georgetown tennis coach now better known for his part in the college entrance scandals, Gordie Ernst, has been charged with racketeering! Aha, the DoJ with a sense of humor.

The Question:

Who are considered the funniest all-time female comedians?

The Headlines:

--Post Easter Market Expected To Open Lower; Oil Projects Higher, But China Stocks Sink.

--Death Tolls From Blasts at Christian Churches And Hotels Across Sri Lanka Claim So Far Just Under 300; Government Says It Is Work Of Domestic Terror Organization; Country On Edge.

--State Department Announces That Countries Importing Iran Oil Will be Subject To Sanctions.

__Yellow Jacket Paris Protestors Inflamed Over Donations To Restore Notre Dame.

--Democrat Divisions Loom Over Calls For Impeachment.

--The Statue Of Culturally Indicted Kate Smith To Be Removed From Philadelphia Home Of The Flyers.

--Congressman Seth Moulton (?) Latest To Enter Dem Race.

We humans marvel at technology. Of current curious interest are drones. One half of all drone usage today is for taking videos and photos for purposes of selling real estate, mainly on line. That kind of takes the romance out of it for me.

Poor Kate Smith.

The groans you hear occasionally rising in RI neighborhoods emanate from the state’s handful of Repubs who while watching the nightly news hear a reporter say, “And Now we will bring you the Rhode Island congressional delegation’s reaction to a Trump action, tweet, announcement. Talk about irrelevant.

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

I keep a folded piece of paper in my pocket where I write down ideas for the Tids. This morning I was baffled when I read, “can of biscuits and small broccoli”. Then I realized it was my pre-Easter grocery list. I wonder if I bought them.

The NFL knows how to keep itself in the news. This week fans are eagerly awaiting the NFL Draft…or is it the release of the Bob Kraft massage parlor tape. Early word says it is tasteful done, at least for massage parlor tapes.

In the 1980’s I bought a better than average grill which the guy told me would last forever. Last Week, forever ended.

Gerald Nadler’s subpoena is just another play in a political game.

By the way, Nadler in 1999 made an impassioned plea to resist straying from the rule of law that protected redacted grand jury information as well as sensationalized, possibly misleading testimony etc from the Special investigators 400-page report on President Clinton. Just on case you are interested.  

One thing that was quite apparent at the Barr press conference was the opposition media trying to get him, as opposed to just the facts maam. Here is a great exchange between Barr and a reporter:

Reporter: “What do you say to people on both sides of the aisle, who are concerned that you are trying to protect the president. It just seems there’s a lot of effort to go out of your way to acknowledge how this was difficult for him.”

AG Barr: “Well, is there another precedent for it,”

Reporter: No, but it’s unusual that…”

AG Barr: “Okay, so unprecedented is an accurate description, isn’t it,”

(Note: in his remarks earlier, Barr had said, “In assessing the president’s actions discussed in the report, it is important to bear in mind the context. President Trump faced an unprecedented situation.” He then reminded of accusations and investigations and assault on his presidency that began before he even took office.)

Going to church doesn’t make a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

One of the prettier classical songs is Brahms “Alto Rhapsody”.

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not.” --Mark Twain.

Massachusetts school kids test scores which are far better than Rhode Island’s, just might be better because of all the kids who graduate from colleges there, stay there to marry and raise their families because there is an abundance of well-paying, intellectually stimulating jobs.

A Tids reader and this publication’s chief musicologist tells me I should get back into “American Idol.”

BTW, the singers on tonight’s newly formatted The Voice live “Knockouts” now called “Live Cross Battles” segment are under a lot of pressure as the coaches used up just about all their saves and steals last week. So, some good people will be leaving this week.

I still don’t understand all the hoopla over the Elian Gonzalez caper.

I played a Kate Smith’s magnificent “God Bless America” in the Tids a year or two ago. I guess I’ll have to go back and eliminate that Tid. Or, put it in my hall of fame.

The Answer:

I thought of this question because I was reading about Elaine May, who to me is one of the all-time great who perhaps doesn’t get her due. Some others that come to my mind are Gracie Allan, Fanny Brice, Lucille Ball and Carroll Burnett. So here are a couple of Top Ten lists: On the first I read they had as #1 Mary Tyler Moore followed by Lucille Ball, Kristen Schaal, Lena Dunham, Chelsea Handler, Carol Burnett, Alex Borstein, Goldie Hawn, Ellie Kemer and at #10, the irritating Kathy Griffin. Other better-known names were Amy Poehler at #50, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss at 49, Tina Fay at 48, Amt Schumer at 47 and Kristen Wiig at 46. Ellen was at 42, Joan Rivers 37 and Betty White at 27. Roseanne Barr was at#18 just after Lili Tomlin. I’d never or barely heard of the rest. Not Gracie, not Elaine nor even Whoopie Goldberg. Another list has a top ten of Ball, Burnett, Fay, White, DeGeneres, Poehler, Wiig, Gilda Radner, Dreyfus and Melissa McCarthy. Another list of the Top 15 adds the very funny Phyllis Diller, Rivers, and finally Whoopie. And in one more list of a100 we see showing up Jane Curtin, Bea Arthur, Cloris Leachman and finally at #57 Gracie. Yes, in that final list of 100, every actress who ever read a funny line on TV or in films is listed…except Elaine May. Maybe I’m wrong, but she is still in my Top Ten.

Yesterday was a day of rebirth. But every morning brings a new chance to do something better, even something great.