Opening Stuff:
You have to love LA Laker's coach Phil Jackson who observed yesterday that the proliferation of NBA games on Christmas day is watering down an important Christian holiday.
Be sure to check our Tids Christmas Bonus Issue Special, "Eating Tips For The Christmas Holidays", at the bottom of Today's Tids. (Thanks to another of our thoughtful readers for sending it along.)
The Editor of "Shoe's" Tree-Tops Tattler writes that 99% of politicians are making the rest of them look bad!
If the stage show Mama-Mia comes to your area be sure to see it. You may have seen the movie. The show is five times better and will have you dancing in the aisles and leaving the theater with your heart apumpin' and and a huge smile on your face. This is a Tids Guarantee!
The Question:
Did you know that America has a "Stroke Belt" (as in debilitating attack on brain)? Name the states. What do scientists think is the cause? What is the irony here?
The Headlines:
--North and South Korea Continue To Play "Chicken".--Consumer Confidence Rises; Stocks Edge Up.
--Package Bombs Explode In Swiss And Chile Embassies In Rome.
--Latest California Storms Contaminating Water, Fouling Beaches.
--Medvedev Hails Start Approval; Russia Legislature Says they Will Take Their Time To Understand It! Say What?
--Chicagoans Shudder As Emanual Is Ok's For Mayoral Run.
--Abbott Labs Recalls Millions Of Diabetes Testing Strips.
--Congress has Left The Stage; Nothing Can Happen To Us Til Next Year.
Back to More Stuff:
Is Security in the Crapper Because of Clapper Department:
So, did you see the "Duh!" moment when the Chief Intelligence officer of the US of A, James Clapper, was asked by Diane Sawyer his opinion of the Terrorist roundup in London and how it may affect the US. His eyes went totally blank and he uttered London? Before an admin cohort on the same panel jumped in to cover him. Of course, what is worse is that the White House spin machine immediately responded saying he knew everything about London, but that Sawyers question was confusing. Oh yeah. Then in the afternoon the Clapper (gum)flappers came out to say that he had no clue whatsoever about the important London roundup. God save us from our Government.
The season is winding down, but the pickin' pressure isn't. How about that New Orleans-Atlanta Game. Last years surprise Superbowl winner versus this year's NFC wonder team. Then there is the all-of-a-sudden improving Tenn versus KC -- Pride versus Hardware. Buffalo is playing as well as anybody, and knocking off NE would make their season. Green Bay and the Giants both need to snap back from bad losses. Will a Jets win against Chi put Rex Ryan back on good "Footing"? Then there are two teams that must win to make the playoffs -- Indy and Oakland at Oakland. Lets start with the so-called easier appearing picks: Pitt, Dallas, St. Lou, Balt, Det, Jax, Houston, SD, TB and Philly. Now... I go with my heart and pick the Pats. Then we pick KC,Chi, Oakland, Green Bay and ...and ...Atlanta. Last week's 11-5 brings us to 152-71 (68%),
The headline reads: "Tax Cuts will stimulate economy". Excuse me, but taxes next year are the same as last year and this year. There are no tax cuts. Now if it was a headline about dissolving the Bush tax cuts, a headline could properly read, "Absence of Bush tax Cuts will depress economy." Do I have to do everything for these "journalists"?
Then there is all of this acclaim by media fawners for the "Great work of Congress" during this Lame Duck session...and how strong 0-Man has been getting it all through. Everything they have done could have been done three to 12 months ago. The fact remains that they are just a gutless crowd who were scared to death of doing what they just did before the elections. Now that they are losers, it is full steam ahead. The public be damned. The passed Pelosi-Palooza without reading it and now they are passing a myriad of bills based mainly on political expediency without taking the time to gain appropriate knowledge and understanding,. The November elections were not about empowering Lame Ducks!
A lame duck Congress is more like a crowd of Canadian Geese depositing their gifts on golf courses. Step lightly!
Pretty in Pink Department:
A political observer suggests that we have gone from "Don't ask, Don't tell" to "Show and Tell".
Rex Ryan really has his foot in his mouth this time!
I never knew who the man was at the time, but Fred Foy who died yesterday at 86 was a major influence on my young life. He was the voice who imprinted the magical "Hi-Yo Silver on the minds of an entire population in the 1940's.
I'd like to see more people in their 90's in Obits and fewer in their 70's and early 80's.
I find that the quickest way to be loved in a crowd of liberals is to tell a Sarah Palin joke. It will bring on many an elitist guffaw and appreciative smiles in your direction. They just love to look down on people they don't understand.
As an avid and thorough reader of the Tids, I find that the Tids reporters are way ahead of other news opine-ers on most of the key issues.
It is essential that Mac-Cheese casseroles have cheese oozing over the side and burnt on top.
The Answer:
The states are North and South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas and Louisiana. Scientists asay the reason may be that the poeople in these sates eat Fried Fish two times a week. Of course, it is ironic that scientists also say that eating these same fish -- key sources of omega-3 fatty acids -- can reduce the risk of Stroke and Heart Attack! I may have to do a special Tids investigative report. Like what is the stroke rate in England where you can but fish and chips on every corner!
The Gift:
Tomorrow will be my usual short Christmas message. The one that everybody should be thinking about all of the time. I unwrap my Christmas present every morning of every day when I think about all of you who relinquished any sense of self esteem by allowing this crap to arrive in your email every day. I love writing for you all, and maybe even giving you a little knowledge, a few laughs and moral support as we face the perplexities of the world. But, frankly, I think we all feel pretty good about this great planet earth and especially the amazingly wonderful and caring people we meet every day. Thanks for listening. -- The management.
Christmas Bonus Special:
Eating Tips for the Christmas Holidays
1. Avoid carrot and/or celery sticks. Anyone who puts them on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see them, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not come alone. Pour it on everything. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that jug of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like lobster tails in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?Thanksgiving???
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but attack it at all cost. I mean you've crossed over the edge by now,who cares!!!
10. One final tip: If you don't feel bloated when you leave the party, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, but hurry it's almost CHRISTMAS!
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