Opening Stuff.
Is today the last day of a decade, or the last day of the first year of the coming decade. Whatever it is, it was a helluva year. Personally, I have managed to raise my ability to avoid responsibility to an art form. The people of the US got angry and got the ball rolling which may result in a better environment in Washington. Like one where they remember that the people are are the reason why they are there and that all the money they waste comes from the people.. The Red Sox out-snookered the dreaded Ya-Ya-Ya...(WYKWIM), the Pats look like real contenders, the Celts have a shot -- and my free cell play is on fire. Some great cold days came early after a much too hot summer. The Tids reader list grew nicely and the Tids Blog with pics is now on the web. The Tids readers are all in good spirits. And romantic dreams thrive. 2011 will be just fine. Let your heart lead you.
"Once, I almost had a psychic girl friend but she left me before we ever met." That funny line was uttered by the guy who won the National Liars Club annual award. Then they found out that he had actually borrowed it from comedian Steve Wright. The guy has since resigned and joined the Joe Biden Plagiarism Society.
I'm wondering if the UConn loss last night is an ominous portent of something that could happen to me -- the end of my current 160 game Free Cell winning streak. It's getting tense.
The Question:
Bonus Day, Again: 1. Ok, give me three funny lines from BoSox cap wearing Steve Wright, named #23 on all time list of greatest stand-up comedians. 2. To which Country does the US give the most military aid after Israel?
The Headlines:
--America's Cup Locations To Be Named Today; Newport RI Leading Candidate; Chafee-Lite Seems Hesitant To Comment--New Unemployment Benefits Apps Fall To 414,000.
--US Missiles Strike and Kill Inside Pakistan.
--Humans Around The World Jockeying For Best Positions for New year's Celebration.
--Weekend Thaw Boon To Local Polar Bear Dippers; Pittsburgh Officials In Quandary As Melting Ice Could Destroy Big Outdoor Hockey Extravaganza.
--RI's Little Ski Mountain That Could, Yagoo, had best December In History.
Last Day For Profit Taking Could Send Stocks Lower.
--Skype Looking At Adding Broader Services.
Back to More Stuff:
The shy ophthalmologist had to get a new job because he couldn't look you in the eye.
Have you heard of the new web site WikiPeeks? It releases body scan images.
Smartest People Department:
Personally, I think that Tids readers with a capital "TR" are the Smartest...with a capital "S"! But the so-called MacArthur "Genius " award scholars have come up with their own list. It is headed by Jon Stewart (Yikes!), Bill and Malinda Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, biologist Craig Venter, Julian Assange, Creators of "Kickstart", Felisa Wolfe-Simon and Aaron Sorkin. Not too creative.
Do you realize that the media operates on principles that are exactly opposite our most prized judicial rule that says "All people are considered innocent until proven guilty?" Time after time the media accuses before thinking. The negatives are out there and the reputation of the accused is sullied, maybe for ever. Oh...they do use the world allege. but I doubt that many readers or listeners see or hear it. They only retain the bad stuff. The worst of it is in political slandering. A good rule of thumb for media would be to throw out any release from a political campaign. yeah, right.
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't look twice at Snooki.
Living in Rhode Island, my taxes feel like Union Dues.
Everybody is getting delirious about the prospects of a better economy. If, the gas price goes to $5,00 as some industry people are predicting, you can kiss good bye to tourism and extra money for luxury buying. It could produce a return to irresponsible use of credit cards before current debt loads are stabilized. And to those people who will say, Americans will stop buying gas and the price will come down, I have to say -- haven't you been looking around the globe. This gas price rise is the result of enormous consumption increasing in China and India, the two most populous countries. The world is a different place.
Here's a funny line I heard form a knowledgeable political insider. Remembering back to the Tid's question a couple of days ago about "Standing Headlines", another obvious one would be "(Politician, Athlete, Coach Exec) Leaving to spend more time with my family." Well, the thirteen year old son of a well known statewide pol who had dropped out of the Gov. race using the "Family" rhetoric, came home after a Dad visit (they are divorced) and said to his Mom, "He isn't doing it for us. He's getting his ass kicked.")
Correction: The reference Wednesday to undesirable droppings of the Canadian Goose Session of Congress should have read, "The undesirable droppings of the 'Lame' Canadian Goose session of Congress."
It wouldn't be a fitting end to the year if I didn't borrow a line from the comic strip Shoe: Commenting on the boring meetings, a member of the Town Water Board said: "They're like torture."
The Answer.
Kind of an odd mix today -- War and Laughter! 1. Steve Wright observed "Black Holes are where God divided by zero". "I was once walking through a forest , alone, and a tree fell right in front of me. I didn't hear it." "I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five." "Boycott shampoo! Demand real poo!" "I got a job in a fire hydrant factory. The problem was that you couldn't park anywhere near it." "I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out." Laughing yet? 2. Egypt gets the most military money after Israel. The problem now, according to the Pentagon, is that they aren't using it to modernize their army. Sounds like a Pyramid scheme to me.
The End of Good Year:
I'll toast you all at midnight. Well, maybe a couple of you.
If you can't hear me it's because I'm in parentheses." -- S. Wright.
See you next year if I can delete these damn parentheses.
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