Opening Stuff:
Considering the reported increase in asthma nationally, concurrent with the demise in smoking and increase in cleaner air, I can only conclude that smoking and bad air are good for you. If you don't catch cancer along the way.
Biggest rip-off of American consumers after bottled water has to be the ever-growing ATM fees.
How can we ever expect to see world piece when we continue to have cavalier litterers and malicious computer hackers and virus creators -- two groups of people without a conscience.
Golfers around the world were saddened at the death of Seve Balestaros, a man who not only created excitement in every match where played, but also was considered the golfer who brought the European Tour and the Ryder's Cup to the prominence they enjoy today.
The Question: What significant role did John Pemberton play in the American culture? Bonus Q: The most accomplished Spanish athlete of today broke down in tears at the news of the death of the wonderful Seve Balestaros. Who is he.
The Headlines:
--Geithner, Hillary, Bernanke To Head Team That meets With China's Hu Jintao Principals In High Level Talks; US Deficit, Currency Rates And Human Rights To be Lead Topics.--Mississippi Rising; More People Leaving Homes.
--Pakistan News Media Outs CIA Station Chief.
--Apple Passes Google As World's Most Valuable Brand.
--Denmark, China Lead World In Clean Tech Energy; US Is 17th.
--Greece Asks For Adjustments That Would W+Ease Bailout Payback.
--Congress Having Trouble Justifying Continuing Aid To Pakistan.
Sunday Stabbing Is First Murder Of year In providence RI.
Economic analysts have just reported a significant uptick in consumer credit card usage. Now some are saying that portends well for the retailers. I'm thinking it is all because of higher gas prices.
Giving birth is a labor of love.
South County (RI) Swamp Yankees are gathering around ponds this week as they anticipate the ever exciting worm mating season. It is expected that the Internet will reach those enclaves in two years.
Parade Magazine yesterday paid tribute to Moms by highlighting four women -- Patrcia Heaton, Julie Bowen, Monica Potter and Martha Plympton. The first three are happy moms with several kids, while Martha is but playing a role of a TV Mom. So, are they trying to tell us that raising fictional children by the script is the same as having children of your own.
The "Pink Toenail" controversial sparked by a J. Crew ad showing a mom painting her sons toenails pink, just tells me that in this misguided drive towards sexual homogenization we have gotten way too far away from the basic truth that "Boys will be boys and Girls will be boys" and Vive la Differ'ence.
As far as I can see, Twittering is the ability to talk endlessly about nothing.
When the government gets to that point of micro managing everything in the the lives of citizens, I'm expecting that Major Legue Umpires will be heading up all Cabinet posts. Talk about giving too much power to lunkheads...
If I accepted that marriage was defined as joining together to get free things from the government, then I'd be sympathetic to this latest of emotion ridden causes against centuries of tradition established and defined by the word of God.
Almost Near: Chapter 19 continues. --"You look much better!" Audrey rose and walked towards Tucker as the nurse wheeled him into the waiting room.
"He's all yours!" The scrappy Irish nurse smiled and pushed the wheelchair towards Audrey who broke out in laughter at this affront to litigation. "Be gentle with him, she winked. he's a little fragile."
Audrey blushed a bit "But, we're not..." The nurse was gone before she could finish.
"We're not what? Tucker asked.
"We're not brother an sister!" She glared over at Tucker. Comon'. Get up. You can walk."
"Hey, I'm fragile, remember?" Audrey reared back as if to punch Tucker in his bad arm. He flinched. She laughed.
"I'll drive you to your hotel. You can fill me in on your talk with Bounty."
She helped him into the car and then went around to the driver's side, got in, turned the key and put the shift into reverse. As she looked in the rear view mirror, she said casually, "Oh, by the way, thanks for trying to save me."
They started moving through the hospital lot out into the road where she turned right. "I think Bounty could be useful. I'm going to try to find him tomorrow. Let's hope that the police weren't too rough on him. You with me?"
Audrey smiled, "Hey, I'm a reporter." She turned her head quickly to glance at him. And then accelerated.
OBL's last FaceBook entry was, "Be right back. Someone's at the door."
Here's a humorous observation from a reader. If Harry and William had a stripper at the bachelor party, all of the money they would be stuffing into a g-String would have pictures of grandma on it!
The Answer:
1. John Pemberton was the pharmacist in Atlanta who invented the formula for Coca Cola. It doesn't get any more American than that. Bonus Q: Raphael Nadal the Number 1 tennis player in the world upholds Spain's pride. Yesterday while beating Federer yet again, he only thought of Seve, his friend.
Oh, and did you hear about the hot new drink in better bars called the binLaden? Two shots and a splash of water.
Thanks to all of the readers who continually keep me current with the latest fad jokes.
No comments:
Post a Comment