Today's Tids Issue 2911
Opening Stuff:

Have you noticed that when you press shift "#1", you get an "#!". That must be when you are feeling good about yourself.

I rarely eat sweets (though I love them), so when I do it has to be special. A couple of nights ago I found perfection in a piece of homemade Ice Cream pie that is making forget all about Cheetos and rich, brown, creamy gravy.

Anton Dvorak's 8th Symphony has more nice, inventive little innuendos and unique compelling and imginative passages then just about any other I can think of. If I knew more about music I could explain it more clearly. It's like Anton anticipated what the listener would be expecting and he delivered fulfillment. Often some of the greats like Beethoven, Brahms and Schubert create themes that promise but under-deliver. I feel music, and I know I don't have to explain it techically to know when it does not reach my anticipations. Maybe that's why I always picked as my secret ambition, conductor of a symphony orchestra...to help people satisfy the cravings they may or may not realize they have, but will feel the contented exhaustion as they recede from the high of a perfect climax of notes and instrumants coming together down to numbing relaxation..

An artist with post nasel drip could be known as a Phlegmish painter.

The Question:
Personally, I think the so-called great chefs ruin more good food dishes than they improve. Much of it has to be this new wave of competitive celebrity cooking. Name the top five celb chefs. Bonus: I often try to write in the style of Elmore Leonard, mostly unsuccessfully, but the sarcasm always is bubbling nieth the surface. Elmore died Saturday and was working up to the last minute. What was this writer of numerous books, including "Get Shorty" made into a well received movie, working on for TV?

The Headlines:
--US Moves Ships Into Place Off Syria Awaiting More Info From UN On Gas Usage; UN Poison Experts Move To Alleged Death Site; Two Mortor Bombs Fall Near UN Hotel In Damascus.
--Huge Yosemite Fire Growing.
--Iraq Bombings Escalate Again.--Microsoft May Begin Journey Under New CEO That Would Dramatically Change Face Of Company.
--World Stocks Flat.
--Prez Chooses Severely Depressed Scranton PA To Talk About College Costs; Citizens There Wonder Why he Isn't Talking About Good Jobs.
--Muriel Siebert Dies; First Woman Member Of NYSE As Respected Stock Analyst.

Toray Plastics, a Japanese manufacturer of high tech films, is one of the biggest, more successful companies in RI. A year or so ago they threatened to leave if they were forced to use the very high cost "wind" generated power being promoted by assorted dingbat dreamers in Providence. Yesterday the company announced they would build their own $22 Million power plant to produce gas powered electricity. It's nice to contemplate life feeling warm and fuzzy sitting under widnmills as long as you don't have to pay for it.

In case you're interested, the five worst tax states for retirees are number 1 California followed by Conn, Iowa, Maine and Nebraska; Just in case you are lookin' around.

You know your breakfast was way too sweet when it takes several cups of bitter coffee to nuetralize the sugar.

Do you think potato salad season will ever end?

Watching a whale surface is pretty exciting, but I'd never pay to go on a whale watching trip.

The Industry of Lawyering may be the most self-serving of them all. They create impediments devoid of logic which only they can understand, and then they coerce people to call upon them to solve their predicaments. In fact, I b elieve it is a vast collusive conspiracy to steal the rational sides of humankind's brain. It is the ultimate conflict of interest. We all need to bind together a class lawsuit against lawyers, whcih no lawyer would take on, and in which all judges would recuse the selves. So there you have it a nutshell -- we're screwed.

I see where 4,000 ex football players are suing over concussions. I had saw so many stars from concussions as a injury prone kid that I thought I was a child actor in Holliwood. Who's coming to my aid. Where are all of the lawyers when you need them. Maybe we can creat a gigantic class action suit against God for allowing us to action our free wills.

I have wondered if guys like Dvorak sat down, and thought, "Well, Johann missed it big over there so I'm going to deliver over here.

Tennis fans are all a-twitter over the promise of the first serve in the upcoming US Tennis Championships at NYC's Forest Hills. It is the ultimate "Place-to-be-seen" spectacle with celebs and wannabees climbing over each other for front row seats. Somehow though, we get through the glitterazzi melee and good often great tennis survives. Frankly, I find all of that white hard on my retinas.

Speaking of "All-a-Twitter", the mighty Tids sports department is quivering as they anticipate the big new season of NFL Picks. The Tids has often been well ahead of the averages, and this year the boys and girls in the "Pick-um' Pit" are studying the preseason games like never before. The Giants are picked to win the NFC East, but this could be the year where the Cowboy's record may catchup with the talent. People are picking Seattle to oust SF at the top of the West, but a key factor may be an improving Rams. Andrew Luck is a year older and Indy could edge the favorite Houston in the AFC South. Everybody has been picking Denver, but they are much weaker all of a sudden  on defense with the suspension of Miller. Pitt is supposed to be rebounding and Baltimore receding, but I think the  experts may have missed the innate quality of the Ravens. The Pats are still a question mark in this pickers pea brain, but I don't believe the two teams that have tried the hardest, Buff and Miami, have improved enough. Green Bay and da Bears will battle it out and New Orleans with the return of coach Peton could be a factor in the division alrady ceded to the Atlanta Falcons. It's going to be fun, and I can hardly wait.

I don't expend a lot of energy worrying about detainees at Quantanamo, the next Batchelorette or what a president -- or for that matter any body but me -- does on vacation.

So now they have bulls running in the US. US promoters will over do it and screw up that tradition too.

The Answer:
Hey, let's not forget the past. Julia Child is still considered, coming in as #10. After her we have Gordon Ramsey at 9. the res are in order Nigella Lawson, Anthony Bourdain, Bobby Flay, Tom Collichio, Paula Dean (!), Mario Batali, Emerile Legasse and number #1 -- Wolfgang Puck. Bonus: Elmore is Exec Producer and creator of the quirky hit Fx show "Justified".

There was a beautiful chill in the air this weekend, and an even bigger chill in the pages of the Farmers Almanac. Yes, the venereable and often right on the money weather predictor used the words biting and bitterly with cold often in describing the winter ahead. Including a major storm around NYC SuperBowl time. I love it. Get out the fleece.

Fall seemed to start this weekend. You have about two and a half months. Enjoy it!