I'm smiling.

Today's Tids Issue 2,821

(Written 2/25)

Opening Stuff:

 

A new Gallop/Healthways WellBeing Survey picks the happiest and most depressed states. It says that 80.4%* Rhode Islanders do not enjoy themselves. Here's an Idea -- In the next election all RI'ers should walk into the voting booth tall and proud and pull the lever for every incumbent's opponent**. They would feel a catharsis, a release from the stagnation that binds; from the gray loud that smothers opportunity. Sever the past and walk happily in the sun. Note, Hawaii is the Happiest State. *The survey must have been taken in February when the happiest RI'ers are in Florida. In the summer, everybody in RI is happy. **This would surely work if there were opponents running.

Did you know that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.

There are those who can drift away within a crowded room. The chatter of the place becomes the ocean pounding upon the rocky shore. The drinks that they pour, are the rivulets winding back to the sea where it began. The people scurrying by create the breeze that blows off tops of foamy waves. When the evening show winds down, I sit and enjoy the calming waters lapping softly at my feet.

The Question:

The business life cycle for products in the technological age gets shorter ans shorter. Name 5 of the most damaged brands.

The Headlines:

--Stocks Open Higher; Gold Regains Half Of Loss After Recent Rout.

--Giant Fuel Barges Explode In Mobile Alabama Harbor; Carnival Cruise Ship Nearby Evacuated.

--Bush says He's Comfortable With Decisions As New Library Opens; Post Presidency Favorability Rankings Improvement Faster Than Clinton's.

--11th Century Minaret Toppled In Heavy Aleppo Fighting.

--Evacuation Orders Ignored Before Bangladesh Factory Collapse.

--Bomber Parents In Denial; Mother Facing Shoplifting And Evading Warrants May Not Return To Claim Son's Body.

--RI Becomes 10th State To Pass Same Sex Marriage Approval Law.

I have always though that Robert's Rules of Order were kind of pretentious and sucked the humanity out of meetings. Maybe Attila the Hun needed something formal to control his fellow savages, but I have always thought that business meetings went better when people talked like people. But, that's just me.

Ok, I thought the American Idol girls/women were far superior to any of the men. But, I'm finding the finals without men not as good. There is a sameness to all of the women, which would be ok if it was balanced with a couple of male singers. But, the Judges just blew it with the male picks, so we got what we got. I thought Angie was best last night. I put Kree and Amber in the bottom two. Mainly because there are only four and somebody has to be there. McArthur park was a bad selection fo Amber, who I generally like. As was Whiter Shade of Pale for Kree, about whom I'm beginning to have misgivings. But the final three will be Angie, Candice and Kree mainly because Amber doesn't seem to have a voting base. And I don't think she helped herself last night.

Carnivals are noted for sleazy games where the chance of winning is an orchestrated illusion wile the possibility of losing is highly likely. What an apt name for a certain cruise Linell.

O yeah, and the other "Happiest States" after Hawaii are North Dakota, Minnesota, Alaska, Utah, Colorado (Hey, mannn), Kansas, Nebraska, New Hampshire and Montana. The least happy are Mass, RI, Delaware, West Va, Ohio, Kentucky, Arkansas, Florida, Louisiana, Missouri and Alabama.

Did you know that the original BD (Before Disney) Seven Dwarfs were Bick, Flick, Glick, Plick, Quee, Snick and Whick? Probably  not on the tip of your tongue.

The Boston Red Sox had a continuous sell-out streak of 820 games, until the day after opening day when it all ended. Yesterday the Sox announced that anybody with a  ticket for last Tuesday night's game could trade it in for a future game, because the Sox sucked so bad that game wasn't worth the money paid.

Did ya hear about the Buddhist who walked up to the hot dog vendor and said "make me one with everything"?

Next week there are the final episodes for my current favorite two TV shows, The Following and The Americans. So, do you think today's Tids looks slightly depressed. I guess it's because I'm looking out toward the summer and I only see emptiness. I'm praying to the summer replacement program Gods for relief.

Two blonds walked into a bar. The brunette ducked.

The Answer:

#1 Most damaged product is Martha Stewart! And it isn't just the aging of a Diva! #2 is Apple followed by Hyundai (Giant Recalls and "Inflated EPA ratings), Groupon, Blackberry (Is the new phone entry enough?) and JP Morgan Chase.

The Buddhist gave the hot dog vendor a $10.00 bill. When the vendor turned to another customer the Buddhist asked, "Where's my change." The vendor replied, "Change comes from within".

I hope so, or I'll never get through the Summer replacement TV season.

Tomorrow will be a happy day. Sneezy, Sleepy Grumpy, Bashful, Doc and dopey are planning a surprise birthday party.

Keep on smiling.