Just Think!

Today's Tids Issue 4,108

For the sake of grey matter:

One thing that the Tids have taught me: The true meaning of a blank sheet of paper.

I think Google search is losing its edge. It just isn’t as smart as it was, certainly not nearly as accurate and satisfying. I’m pretty sure it’s because its mind has been clouded by far too many advertiser demands.

I found relief from the strains of gloom

Through the lilting drone of an old bassoon.

Though in fact, it was a sax at that time,

But the word saxophone didn’t rhyme.

It’s tough to perform inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

The Question:

The world of baseball spent a lot of time earlier this week remembering Jackie Robinson. But, I want to see if you know who was the first black coach in the NBA? Bonus: What is the definition of a Pun? Extra Points: Why do people “Groan” when they hear a Pun?

The Headlines:

--Pompeo Successfully meets With Kim To Prepare For Trump Kim Meeting.

--Markets Opening Strong As Earnings Reports Top Expectations; WS Happy About Korean Talks.

--Barbara Bush, Wife and Mother of Presidents Dies At Age Of 92; Prez GW Calls It End Of “Beautiful Life”.

--Southwest Plane Forced To Land after Bird Strike One Day Following Horrendous Mid-Air Engine Explosion; Ex-Navy Female Pilot Tammy Jo Shults Lauded For Coolly Bringing Down Crippled Plane Safely.

--McConnell Kills Mueller Protection Bill; Insiders Say President Sought To Fire Mueller In December.

Albert Einstein: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

More and more American oldsters are getting replacement knees. I think I know why, in addition to the fact that it seems free. When people retire, they slow down, lean back and put their feet up on the nearest ottoman. But, the effect of legs bridging the gap between sofa and ottoman is the exertion of tremendous downward pressure on aging joints. Hence, declining knee facility. Yes, it seems most of us are the innocent victims of Ottoman’s Knee.

I can see why Miranda Lambert won best female vocalist at the ACM Awards Sunday. She still sounds like the great country singers that made country what it is …good.

I performed taste test yesterday – a turkey sandwich on rye versus a lobster sandwich on rye. The lobster sandwich own hands down. No contest. Now if I could only afford it more often.

I believe that as time wore on Mozart, Hayden and Telemann were running out of tunes. Fortunately, we didn’t have to wait too long until Beethoven, Brahms and Saint Sans came along.

Dunkin’ Donuts just replaced its ad agency, Boston’s Hill-Holliday, with Leo Burnet.  The old agency was responsible for the slogan “America runs on Dunkin’.” I always thought it should have been, “America waddles on Dunkin.”

Issues of morality shouldn’t be political footballs.

I can see Tammy Jo Shults becoming the next national hero.

Do you know what bothers me? It’s the horror of what a woman thought as she was sucked half way out of an airplane window 31,000 feet above the earth.

There was a recent story here saying that RI leads the nation in evictions. It was written as any good liberal journalist might write  to infer that we have meaner landlords. My guess is that the state has too many free programs that lure too many people who can‘t produce enough to pay rent.

I know for sure that if I started eating nutritionist’s favorite health foods and snacks that I would surely lose a lot of weight. I’d only be eating the absolute minimum to survive as opposed to diving in for taste and enjoyment. I think that’s why those new diets seem to work.

I believe one our biggest current national concerns, threats, is the possibility of an Iran-Israel war.

Bill Gates: “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”

There is no question that WalMart will never allow Amazon to dominate retail sales.

The Answer:

The first black coach in the NBA was the Boston Celtic’s Bill Russell. Bonus: In Italian, “Puntiglio” means “a fine point”, hence a verbal quibble, and is probably the likely source of the English word “Punctilious”. Webster says it is the “Humorous use of a word, or of words which are formed or sounded alike that have different meanings, in such a way to play on two or more of the possible applications; a play on words.” Extra Points: A pun is considered obvious humor which children laugh at without considered reservations. Adults on the other hand are more likely to have a bit of envy, “Why didn’t I think of that,” causing a subconscious groan.

There is always enough time to think, but sometimes we are just lazy. Well, at least I am.