The squeaky wheel is grating.

Today's Tids Issue 4,095

For Self Determination:

The joke is on me this year. April First was on a non-Tid’s day. So, I’m not kidding this morning when I say April is one of those special, amazing months. It just feels clean and a happy; like a beautiful song. Huddled masses emerge from their northland caves. And eyes look up to sunnier days, and a glorious background of flowers abloom. Baseball is well underway, and basketball and hockey continue grinding away. Nope, no April fool’s jokes this year, just, beautiful, hopeful. April. The fact that it is snowing outside has no bearing on what is to come. Just an April Second joke.

It is becoming apparent that Marching on Washington and State Capitals is the new American pastime. My question: How could legislatures possibly support equally all of these steadfast demands?

I see where Triscuits are considered a “Healthier food option”. I’m thinking how much better they could be sprinkled with Cheeto dust.

Insanity, Department:

The other day, a local radio talk show guy was telling us that RI desperately needs to denounce the “Citizenship” question on the Census Questionnaire. His reasoning is that without it RI will essentially disappear from the face of the USA Map. That’s because without our Illegal people we would fall below population requirements and lose a congress person (Which is probably a good idea.). Then, I read yesterday that a RI State Legislator seriously proposed a law that would pay people $10,000 to move into the state to grow population. I have a solution for the lunkheads. How about making the state more business friendly so companies move here and bright young people educated here at great universities stay instead of leaving for other, better places to work. So, which is better – a state with built upon the lawless and those coming for freebies, or a state of productive people who will create even more opportunities for those looking in.

Grocery store workers must let customers decide if they want paper or plastic because baggers can’t be choosers.

Personally, I like my generalized stereotypes of people: Basically, that people are largely happy – until some social scientist tells them they aren’t

The Question:

What is the difference between a mule and a hinny? Bonus: Who wrote: “A brief history of Time: From the big bang to black holes.” Extra Bonus: Bethlehem Pa was once a mighty economic power when the Bethlehem Steel Company furnaces roared. In fact nearly half of the top paid USA executives worked there. Now another well-known, iconic company has replaced the they great steel maker. What is it?

The Headlines:

--Garbled Trade Messages Could Have Markets Falling To Open April; China Adds Tariffs To Pork And Fruits; US Economy Continues Healthy.

--Trump Says No More DACA; Threatens Abandoning Nafta.

--Another Last Second Notre Dame Shot Wins Woman’s NCAA Title For Irish; Tonight Villanova Meets Michigan For Men’s title

--Oklahoma Teachers To Walk Out Protesting Spending Cuts.

--New Concerns About Model 3 Has Tesla Stock Declining.

--Hackers Attack Lord & Taylor, Saks; Records Of Consumers Already Listed For Sale On Dark Web.

--China Space Station Falls To Earth; Hit’s Nothing But Water.

--Shark Attacks Paddleboarder In Hawaii; Death Of Family Of Eight On Cal Pacific Highway May Have Been Intentional.

While thinking over this weekend I realized that Easter is the day man became light.

“Why do they lock gas station rest rooms? Are they afraid somebody will clean them?”

Great music never gets old.

Playwrights often produce works mainly reflecting personal hardships or misgivings; their own idiosyncrasies. Audiences are swayed by mere anecdotal views of a microcosm; singular ills often inflated as being universal. And then, somebody marches.

Why does the word “Questionnaire” have two “N’s”?

Maybe all of those black holes Hawking was seeing were the result of man pulling down veils to extinguish the light.

Opinions from California should not be allowed to reach the rest of the USA public.

Motley Fool tells us that before Social Security, seniors got by through company pensions, savings accounts, cash (under the mattress), annuities and help from families. So, the basic idea here going forward if SS is written off the books is to have lots of kids. Pets a can only wag their tails.

Why Actuaries like Baseball, Department:

While we weren’t looking MLB has introduced many more stat Acronyms some of which, I have to admit, are beyond me. So, I thought if you were as foggy as I am, you might like a little explanation of a few of the more cumbersome:  BABP (Batting Average on Balls in Play) – This stat removes from the batting averages Home Runs and Strikeouts, leaving only hits and outs into the field. Don’t ask me why. DER (Defensive Efficiency ratio) – This is a way to measure team defense by measuring the times a batter reaches a base after balls are put in put in play (The formula is much too confusing to repeat) Of course, if the pitcher really sucks, the stats become meaningless as a measure of defensive prowess. OPS+ (On-Base Plus Slugging “Plus”) – OPS is the hitters on base average plus their slugging percentage. The plus addition takes into account the friendliness of various ballparks. SKIERA (Skill-Interactive Earned Run Average) – This stat adds to the “Balls in Play” measurement the types of balls in play -- i.e. Pop-ups and ground balls versus hard line-drives and longballs. And then there is the Sabermetric favorite WAR (Wins above Replacement) – Basically, it tries to measure player against another player who may replace him. Just to inform you on how confusing it is, here’s the WAR Formula: WAR = (Batting Runs + Base Running Runs + Fielding Runs + Positional Adjustment + League adjustment + Replacement Runs)/(Runs per Win). Often your eyes can tell it faster than a computer. Hey batter, batter!

Today’s Liberals deplore the idea that people who grew up in the 50’s were happy.

Obviously, the Mighty UConn Women’s team isn’t used to playing in close, tough, competitive games.

On Saturday, newspapers outside of Lala-Land decided to scream “coffee is bad for you” in big black headlines, based on the latest California ruling that a cancer warning must now go on coffee products. But in their own article, these headline screamers pretty much say there is little or no cause for alarm because a California law demands the placement of cancer labels on everything. And, I mean just about everything from parking garages to hardware stores to Disneyland, and all are equally exaggerated. Why are journalists so irresponsible?

Too many people in America seem to forget that the greatness of where they are has been built upon the vision of founders who had experienced flawed societies of the past.

Great anything never gets old.

The Answer:

A mule is the product of the mating of a female horse and a male donkey. A Hinny is what you get when the horse is male and the donkey is female. Bonus: A Brief History of Time: From the Big Bang to Black Holes”, was the first big best seller form Stephen Hawking. Extra Bonus: The five-mile-long steel works of Bethlehem Steel is long gone now, and its major replacement is none other than the legendary “Peeps”. Ah America – from steel to marshmallows. Discouraging, isn’t it?

Ian Poulter’s PGA win yesterday is a great example of having to suck it up and make things happen. Every day, somebody, somewhere is doing just that. Silently.

“Would a fly without wings be called a walk?”