Layng quietly in fields

Layng quietly in fields
Glstening lights

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

When humor was fun.

 


Today's Tids Issue 5,509 

So I met this hyena...: 

 

The woke police have taken over the comedy store, and the laughter is turning to anger. 

 

So, the kind and concerned social activists have broken into Columbia and now it's chaos and destruction. Ok? I remember years past watching inane riots in cities around te globe and thinking, jeez, am I glad I live in America. But not to fear, the kids will go home for summer vacations and the outside provocateurs will sit in rooms and yell at each other 

 

The good news is that schools have learned there needs to be some new rules governing trespassing and break-ins clearly outlining expulsions and suspensions due to infractions.  

 

My girlfriend set fire to all her bills. What’s her name again?  

Bernadette. 

 

Oh, no!! 

 

The Question: 

Who was Tim Berner-Lee? Bonus: It’s Kentucky Derby Week, Name the 13 horses who have gone on from Churchill Downs to win the Triple Crown. 

 

The Headlines: 

--Stocks Retreat Early and Plummets Later; Amazon Reports Strong Earnings, Pumps up Stock After Hours; McDonalds Misses; WS Anxiously Awaiting Amazon Reports at Closing Today. 

--China's Huawei Profit Surges as it Takes Away Market Share from Apple iPhones. 

--Trump Held in Contempt for Violating Gag Order; To Pay $9K; Next Time it Could be Jail.  

--US Preventative Task Force Recommends Dropping Age to Begin Breast Cancer Screenings to 40. 

--DEA To move Marijuana into Lower Risk Category. 

--Boston Celtics Brad Stevens Named NBA Exec of the Year. 

 

 

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing...  unless you're at a funeral 

 

Older people say, why don't young people understand the truth of the matter on various issues – it's all over the Newpapers and networks and cable News. Young people get everything from TikTok. 

 

More than just about anything I do enjoy hearing people laugh. 

 

I don't see how the NCAA Portals are good for sports in general. The are all about people coming in you never heard of and people leaving you never got a chance to know.  

 

If the judge puts Trump in jail for contempt he will tell the world he’s just like Nelson Mandella.  

 

Why aren't the Networks courageous enough to balance their sit-in coverage by showing the video of inhumane rape and murders by Hamas that started it all. 

 

Hey, the Kentucky Derby is back Saturday, and it will be a hotter than ever ticket as it celebrates the 150th anniversary. At 5-2, Fierceness is the current favorite. Sieria Leone is a close second at 3-1. Sray tuned. 

 

I think strawberries are very attractive in a picture. But I'd never eat one.  

 

The vast majority of consumers don't read the economic numbers reported by financial services. They see their wallet shrinking and the shrinking sales growth for McDonalds seems to speak to that. Kitchen table economics will always be more meaningful during an election than ivory tower economics. 

 

The Tids crack Tids financial editors (Not on crack, BTW) have been reporting the consumer wallet theory over several months White House strategists seem to be reading the Tids as they are waking to that real world, and frankly they don’t know what ot do with it. 

 

You have to wonder which Pot company hired the Lobbyist to get DEA to soften the risk classification for MJ. A smart business guy once told me years ago that the best marketing plan is getting congress to pass a law or a Gov agency create an atmosphere that not only favors the use of your product, but practically mandate \s it. 

 

Have you noticed that while years ago on HGTV the happy house buyers always cried for the “Open Concept”. But now I'm hearing, "Jeez, if only I had a room with walls where I could go to be alone”.  

 

I'm always amazed how people rich and poor can jump into trendiness without thinking about how they are given up their personality. 

 

Signs of the times. Lebron James, Stephen Curry and Kevin Durant will not be playing anymore this year. Yes, people get old, even superstars.  

 

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar. They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak. They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. > 
The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part. They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, "we're just not gonna settle this. We don't see eye to eye. You're too old and out of touch and I'm too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion."  
The boomer says, "that's a great idea!" And yells, "Hey bartender, c'mere!" 

 

The Answer: 

Tim Verner lee was the guy who thought there must be way for scientists to share information. So he invented a little thing called the WWW or the Internet! Bonus: Sir Barton (1919), Gallant Fox (1930), Omaha (1935), War Admiral (1937), Whirlaway (1941), Count Fleet (1943), Assault (1946), Citation (1948), Secretariate (1973), Seattle Slew (1977), Affirmed (1978), American Pharoah (2015), and Justify (2018). As of 2024, American Pharoah and Justify are the only living Triple Crown winners. 

 

 

This is long but I was smiling all the way through. You can watch it in spurts if you find it interesting. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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